The Coolest Monk In The World Explains How To Spot & Manage Energy Vampires

by Conscious Reminder 

There might be times when you feel drained, exhausted, bored, anxious, threatened, over-whelmed or depressed after spending some time with a particular person, i.e. the very company of the person makes you feel sick inside out.

Also, you might feel guilty of thinking negatively about that person, however, if you encounter one around you then make yourself strong enough to spot him or her as an energy vampire.

Energy vampires are people who drain your energy. They can be anyone around you- your colleagues, family members, friends, classmates or even someone you have encounter with chance.

This term has been mooted by a Hindu priest who is also an entrepreneur, former monk and an international speaker- Dandapani. He categorizes the energy vampires into two types.

First, who are temporary, i.e. those people who suck out the energy within you for a short period of time as they might have been facing hard times themselves presently. They might have been going through divorce or some family spats, loss of loved ones or jobs, etc.

Second, those who are inherent energy vampires. They are the ones who are always like this. They do not look for any changes in their attitude or personality. It is very easy to spot this kind as the moment you walk away from them you start to feel negative.

Some common features of energy vampires are as follow:

1. They either victimize themselves or blame external factors for shortcomings of their lives. They try to make others feel guilty for the troubles they face rather than taking responsibilities themselves.

2. They always try to acquire the position of attention in a meeting. Being the centre of attention is their ultimate goal in any gathering they attend.

3. This brings their narcissist attitude. Everything in the world is about them. For them others are just the insignificant ones.

4. They are inherently either drama queens or kings. They love to indulge into drama every now and then.

Thus, now you know how to spot one and deal with them. The best way is to avoid them as much as you can. However, it is very challenging as they can be your friends, family members or your colleagues whom you have to face every day right from the morning.

If you want to save your limited energy for a prolific day, start ignoring them nonetheless.

Video courtesy of Goalcast


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6 Types of Energy Vampires That Emotionally Exhaust You ⋆ SHIFT

Have you ever felt completely drained, depleted and exhausted around a particular person, for no apparent reason?

An energy vampire is a person who feeds off your emotional, or psychic, energy. People who display energy vampire traits generally lack empathy, sensitivity, and emotional maturity. As a result of the pain or insecurity they feel inside, energy vampires are addicted to preying on the vitality of others as an attempt to heal their inner suffering.

An energy vampire could be anyone: a friend, a family member, a colleague, an acquaintance, a child, a son or daughter, or even a romantic partner. If you’re a highly empathetic and caring person, it’s also possible to actively attract energy vampires into your life. Unfortunately, if you’re a highly compassionate person who doesn’t know how to set boundaries, it’s very likely that you’re surrounded by energy vampires right now! Energy vampires are attracted to you because they unconsciously desire to resolve a deeper problem within their psyches — and they perceive YOU as the solution to their problems.

6 Energy Vampire Types

While it’s easy to feel resentful towards energy vampires, it’s important to remember that they haven’t developed the capacity to deal with their issues yet. Energy vampires prey on others because they are in pain. However, the important thing to remember is that you are NOT responsible for resolving their issues. THEY are responsible for sorting out their struggles.

Often, an energy vampire leaves us feeling so drained that we are incapable of taking care of ourselves. As a result of constantly interacting with an energy vampire, we might feel chronically fatigued, depressed, anxious, irritable or angry.

It’s vital that you learn how to “draw the line” and set boundaries around these types of people. Without learning how to identify the different types of energy vampires in your life, it will be difficult for you to practice self-nurturing and assertiveness.

Here are the six main energy vampire types out there:

1. The Victim or Martyr Vampire

Victim or Martyr Vampires prey off your guilt. Victims/Martyrs believe that they are “at mercy” of the world and suffer primarily due to other people. Instead of taking self-responsibility for their lives, Victim/Martyr Vampires continually blame, manipulate and emotionally blackmail others. The dysfunctional behavior of the Victim/Martyr Vampire is due to their extremely low self-esteem. Without always receiving signs of love, thanks, and approval, Victim/Martyr Vampires feel unworthy and unacceptable, which they try to resolve by making you feel guilty and sucking away your sympathy/empathy.

How to nurture your energy: When you’re around a Victim/Martyr Vampire, be aware of the self-pity cues. For example, a self-pity cue could be the person’s tendency to blame another person for their suffering, or perhaps a description of how terrible their day has been. Don’t get involved in their self-pity. Limit your interaction with them if possible.

2. The Narcissist Vampire

A Narcissist Energy Vampire has no capacity to show empathy, or genuine interest, towards other people. Narcissist Vampires carry the unconscious philosophy of “ME first, YOU second.” Therefore, Narcissist Vampires will constantly expect you to put them first, feed their egos and do what they say. Narcissist Vampires will also manipulate you with false charm, but will just as quickly turn around and stab you in the back. If you have a Narcissist Vampire in your life, you might feel a sense of extreme disempowerment as you feel crushed beneath their limelight.

How to nurture your energy: If you’re unable to cut this person off from your life right now, you might like to limit contact. You could also show the Narcissistic Vampire how your requests satisfy their self-interest, particularly if you’re in a working relationship.

3. The Dominator Vampire

Dominator Vampires love to feel superior and like “alpha” males or females. Due to their deep inner insecurities of being “weak” or “wrong” (and therefore hurt), Dominator Vampires must overcompensate by intimidating you. Often Dominator Vampires are loud-mouthed types of people who have rigid beliefs, and black and white perceptions of the world. They are often racist, sexist and/or bigoted.

How to nurture your energy: Agree to disagree. Practice assertiveness when necessary and limit your contact with Dominator Vampires. Realize that their attempt to scare you is sourced from their deep fear of being dominated and thus hurt.

4. The Melodramatic Vampire

The Melodramatic Energy Vampire thrives on creating problems. Often, their need to create constant drama is a product of dark underlying emptiness in their lives. Melodramatic Vampires also love seeking out crisis because it gives them a reason to feel victimized (thus special and in need of love), an exaggerated sense of self-importance and avoidance from life’s real issues. Another reason why Melodramatic Vampires enjoy creating drama is that the negative emotions that they feed off are addictive (such as anger).

How to nurture your energy: Refuse to take sides or be involved in the Melodramatic Vampire’s pot-stirring. Pay attention to the patterns in their behavior and the triggers that make you want to get involved. Create distance and cut them out of your life if possible.

5. The Judgemental Vampire

Due to their severely low self-worth, the Judgemental Energy Vampire loves to pick on other people. Their treatment of other people is merely a reflection of how they treat themselves. Judgemental Vampires enjoy preying on your insecurities and bolstering their egos by making you feel small, pathetic or ashamed.

How to nurture your energy: Remember that true self-worth must come from within. Refuse to take what the Judgemental Vampire says personally. Be aware of their deeper pain and their need to feel good about themselves. When you get defensive, you lose. Keep a balanced head, and try being sweet to them (that really throws them off balance!). Reduce, or cut off contact with them if possible.

6. The Innocent Vampire

Energy Vampires aren’t always malicious, as in the case of Innocent Vampires. Sometimes they can be helpless types of people who genuinely need help such as children or good friends who come to rely on you too much. It’s good that you help those you care about, but it’s also important that you encourage them to be self-sufficient. Playing the role of the constant “rock” or support will eventually erode away your energy. As a result, you’ll have little energy to support yourself.

How to nurture your energy: Helping those in need is a display of compassion and love, but you also need to remember to love yourself. Gently remind the Innocent Vampire in your life that you need time to yourself as well. Encourage them to develop strength, fortitude and resilience so that you can remove the role of constant caretaker or giver.

Developing the ability to create emotional freedom is an essential life skill. Without it, we can easily get bogged down in disempowering beliefs, fears, roles and duties that drain our life force.

What type of Energy Vampire has appeared the most in your life … and what did you do about it?

About the Author

Aletheia Luna is an influential psychospiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a spiritual counselor, diviner, and author, Luna’s mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance.

This article has been republished from Lonerwolf.

The Real Reason why Empaths Attract Energy Vampires – Heal YourSelf by Nourishing Your Mind, Body & Spirit

Not sure if you are an empath? Check out my previous post on 30 signs you are an empathy, here.

So let’s just get right into it?!

No sugar coating anything, just me being brutally honest, not just with you but with myself!

So why is it us empaths sometimes seem to attract energy vampires, people who drain us, so much that we need to take time off socializing to recover?!!

It’s quite simple actually! – it is because we LACK SELF-WORTH!

What? but How? does that attract energy vampires…

Firstly, if you 100% believe you have self-love, self-worth & have no issues with self-esteem, then this post might not be for you.

But if you do struggle with the above, keep reading!

For a long time I hated the word empath, I thought it was a word a lot of people seem to use lately an excuse… & I am right! Being empathic, should be something you are in charge of and not something that drains you. What I realized is that we are all empath. Every single one of us, however, some of us choose to allow that  skill to work against us instead of for us. In this post we will focus on energy vampires.

In case you do not know what I mean by energy vampires?

In simple, term it is someone who feeds of the life force of another person. Unfortunately not all are evil & intentional, I say unfortunately cause it goes uncover & we fail to realize what’s going on & why we feel drained when we are around people we like, friends, or even family. An excellent example of energy vampires is a narcissists, I’ve wrote a blog post on this & why empaths attract narcissists, so check it out here.

So how is it, that our low self-esteem attracts energy vampires to us.

The truth is, energy vampires often are nothing but a mirror to our own self-worth.

When we come from a place of low self-worth, when we lack self-love, when we have insecurities, feel victims or powerless we open up the door to energy vampires. Not to mention, co-dependency, seeking approval & validation from others.

Do you feel good about yourself when you help others?

Does that give you a sense of purpose?

Does that give you a sense of being worthy or loved?

Are these techniques you use to make yourself feel good about yourself, instead of working on your own self-love & beliefs…

Truth is many people fall for this trap unconsciously & are doing nothing but attracting energy vampires by not looking within & filling their own cup 1st!

Reality is, if you were vibrating at a higher frequency you will NOT be attracting energy vampires to your life, maybe every now & then but you will pick up on it immediately. But if you are someone who is falling for is and always wonder why people seem to take & take & all you do it give & give, is because you allowed them to.

For you to have attracted an energy vampire, you must have been at the same level as them – fact!

But it’s okay, once you realize this, you gain power & now it is all in your hands to decide what to do with it.

No protection technique is going to help or save you here unless, you acknowledge the truth & work on yourself & your self-esteem. This won’t take a day or week, you will have to work on this for a while but awareness is KEY & the first step for you to put an end to this.

Below are some suggestions I think will help:

Like I said, energy vampires are at a low vibration & for us to pick up on each other we must be on the same vibration. So start by setting yourself boundaries, learn how to say NO, learn to be assertive, make sure you are looking after yourself before you try and help someone else.

Start doing things you love, pick a hobby, spend some time doing something that makes you happy if not everyday at least once a week. This will raise you vibration by putting you in a good state, make you happy, work you solar plexus by using your creativity, which is in charge of our power & self-esteem.

Realize that NO ONE! Can ever take your power, energy, or drain you unless you have allowed them. So if this ever happens again, you know you need to stop & take whats yours back.

these are my top 3 tips, we can go on and one but I want to avoid repeating myself, so do check out my other posts on:

Hope you enjoyed this post & don’t hate me! ?

Also do check out & support me on my Channel:

How to Get Rid of Your Energy Vampires?

There are just so many things in this life that can drain you of energy, so many people as well. What can you do about it? How can you get rid of these energy vampires?

How to Get Rid of Your Energy Vampires?
(Transcript)

Energy vampires are people that suck all of the positivity out of a situation, your life and your mind.

They are drama queens and people that like to tell you why you can’t do something, why you shouldn’t do something or that you can’t do something that you want to do. They are people that don’t want you to succeed because it will highlight something in them that is wrong. Energy Vampires are people that say their way is the only way of doing things and that you should follow the herd or that what the common people are doing is the best way of doing things. They said you should know your place and stay in it.

These are the people that talk to you about moderation when you are quitting drinking alcohol. They say everything is ok in moderation and that you should not be worried about taking a drop of alcohol because there is nothing wrong with it. They try and talk you out of doing what is good for you.

My youngest Sister is on the same lines as me, she doesn’t give a shit about most things in life. This is the Christmas present she brought me! It says “Feck off and when you get there feck off some more! ” I love this statement it’s just a good philosophy. “Hey you, fuck off away from me and when you get there fuck off from there as well.”

That’s basically how I think about some people in my life. I just don’t have the time or space for them. I don’t have the mentality to listen to that bullshit. There are so many people around like that. These people are just energy Vampires, they suck all the goodness out of your precious minutes.

You have got 27,000 days in this life. Everyone has the same 24 hours in a single day and it is up to you what you do with those 24 hours. You can use them constructively or not, but energy vampires will suck the positivity out of them regardless, sucking you dry of positivity, and that tends to have a lasting effect on you and puts you down for the day.

I have a certain routine every morning and the whole point of this routine is to try to kick start the day off to a positive start, which has a knock on effect to the following days. It is only a minor knock on effect but it all builds up.

It is like when you first start drinking alcohol, you start drinking small amounts which then gets into your system and has a negative effect on the next day and every time you drink you add to that negative knock on effect and your life starts to head down what Alan Carr calls his ‘spiral’.

Where you just keep drifting downwards and downwards. As long as you keep drinking alcohol you will never get out of that spiral, even if you try to moderate it is just bullshit because moderation builds. It is a lifelong sentence of having to keep doing it over and over again.

You can not do it just once. You moderate for two weeks and then you get fed up with moderation and go back to your normal drinking habits and then you moderate again perhaps even for a month but then you go back to your old drinking habits because of the nature of the drug.

The nature of the drug is to keep you taking more. It’s not even the drug, it’s your bodies reaction to the drug. So that’s what you have to say! “Feck off to the alcohol!” “Feck off to the negative people in your life.”

I am pro trying to understand people and I do try to consider that these people don’t know what they are talking about, they don’t know what I know. I try sometimes to at least explain to them why I am doing this from a personal level. This is why I am doing this. I need to do this because I want to change my life for the better.

I don’t care about passing on money to my children, if I can pass on this. This is the best form of inheritance that I can every give to my child. A respect for themselves, a respect for their body and their health, first and foremost.

Without your health, you can have all the money in the world, but you will still have nothing.

You haven’t got anything without your health. At the end of the day very few people listen to logical coherent argument. Very few people will look at you and think, “Yes they are doing something right so maybe I should think about myself and think about what I should do.”

Most people are persistent in thinking their thoughts about themselves or persistent in trying to get me to change to their thoughts – in that case, there’s trouble, that’s where the T-Shirt comes in. “Fuck off over there and when you get there fuck off some more. Don’t come back to me.

Sometimes all it takes telling people bluntly – “Fuck Off. “

Maybe you don’t have to tell people that, maybe you just have to say it inside your head. “Yeah, you can fuck off, I am walking away from you now and I never want anything to do with you.” And you can do that, you can arrange that yourself.

You don’t need to tell people to fuck off. You just don’t mix or associate with them any more and you leave them to their own life. Everyone to their own. That’s what I say. Don’t interfere with what I’m doing and I will get on with what I’m doing. I don’t want to interfere with what you’re doing, so adios. Take care of yourself. Goodbye. Good luck. All the best.

If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions for videos, leave them down below. Come over to the alcohol master website https://www.alcoholmastery.com and sign up for the alcohol mastery starter pack, which has a few videos and books to try and help you start off on your quitting alcohol journey. If you need any other help at all you can send me an email at kevin@alcoholmastery.com.

Take good care of yourself and avoid the energy Vampires at all costs. Keep the alcohol out of your mouth and take care!

“People either inspire you; or drain you. Pick them wisely”

Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!

3 Powerful Ways To Get Rid Of Energy Vampires For Good

With 2018 already taking over with its uniquely powerful energy, there has never been a better moment to finally let go of the toxic people and the energy vampires that have been feeding off your energy these past years.

We all have at least one such ‘friend’ in our lives that seems to be doing everything they can to drain us dry from the energy we’re so willing to share without giving anything in return. It’s not that you should be expecting anything, but you know that feeling when you just can’t take it anymore?

 

Well, if it has been awkward for you to break that relationship and go on with the life you deserve so far, now is the time where the energy of this year will help you loosen up and break those toxic bonds.

However, it won’t happen magically. You have a job in it too, and everything says that you’re ready to get on with it. So here are 3 powerful but simple ways to finally get rid of the energy vampires in your life.

1. Say NO

It doesn’t hurt as much when you say NO as you may think. It actually hurts more when you do the things you didn’t want to do. It depletes your energy, it eats away your precious time, and it throws you down into the low energy vibes, all because you didn’t protect yourself.

No is as valid as Yes, and it should be practiced accordingly. That is if you want to live a happy life. If someone decides to cut ties with you because of a reasonable NO, then you are better off without that person, as it shows how willing they are to usurp your personal choices and space.

So, say NO to people pleasing and say YES to being true to yourself a bit more accurately.

2. It’s always good to find some Alone time

 

Alone doesn’t mean lonely, and understanding this crucial difference is something that will liberate you from compulsive socializing which leads to no personal pleasure. That’s why it’s important to find some alone time and dedicate your energy to yourself.

This alone time will help you gain more insight about the things you’ve been through and you will regain greater control over who and what influences you – that is – you will become your own influencer the most.

This way, you will be more capable of breaking free from the toxic influence of energy vampires and similar unwanted psychopaths.

3. Look to the past for lessons, not bitterness

People usually look into the past for all the wrong reasons, and they usually come up with all the wrong ‘lessons.’ You don’t want to become bitter and hateful because of select experiences with negative people.

Everybody is here to teach us an important lesson, and energy vampires serve to teach us how to be ourselves more and how to resist external influence when we are supposed to be ourselves.

And finally, stick to the present and accept whatever may come in the future.

2018 is a year of action and taking control over your life, and, as such, it offers an energy which you should not shy away from. Your life is your own to live and your choices are your own to make, but make sure they are not negatively influenced by someone else’s choices and that you have no reason to regret even when things go bad.

 

Stay true to yourself and love yourself!

 

The Coolest Monk In The World Explains How To Spot & Manage Energy Vampires

by Conscious Reminder 

There might be times when you feel drained, exhausted, bored, anxious, threatened, over-whelmed or depressed after spending some time with a particular person, i.e. the very company of the person makes you feel sick inside out.

Also, you might feel guilty of thinking negatively about that person, however, if you encounter one around you then make yourself strong enough to spot him or her as an energy vampire.

Energy vampires are people who drain your energy. They can be anyone around you- your colleagues, family members, friends, classmates or even someone you have encounter with chance.

This term has been mooted by a Hindu priest who is also an entrepreneur, former monk and an international speaker- Dandapani. He categorizes the energy vampires into two types.

First, who are temporary, i.e. those people who suck out the energy within you for a short period of time as they might have been facing hard times themselves presently. They might have been going through divorce or some family spats, loss of loved ones or jobs, etc.

Second, those who are inherent energy vampires. They are the ones who are always like this. They do not look for any changes in their attitude or personality. It is very easy to spot this kind as the moment you walk away from them you start to feel negative.

Some common features of energy vampires are as follow:

1. They either victimize themselves or blame external factors for shortcomings of their lives. They try to make others feel guilty for the troubles they face rather than taking responsibilities themselves.

2. They always try to acquire the position of attention in a meeting. Being the centre of attention is their ultimate goal in any gathering they attend.

3. This brings their narcissist attitude. Everything in the world is about them. For them others are just the insignificant ones.

4. They are inherently either drama queens or kings. They love to indulge into drama every now and then.

Thus, now you know how to spot one and deal with them. The best way is to avoid them as much as you can. However, it is very challenging as they can be your friends, family members or your colleagues whom you have to face every day right from the morning.

If you want to save your limited energy for a prolific day, start ignoring them nonetheless.

Video courtesy of Goalcast


∼If you like our article, give Conscious Reminder a thumbs up, and help us spread LOVE & LIGHT!∼

The post The Coolest Monk In The World Explains How To Spot & Manage Energy Vampires appeared first on Conscious Reminder.

6 Types Of Energy Vampires That Leave You Emotionally Drained ~ March 19, 2018

Many thanks to Prepare for Change for posting this article…now you can see this, seek to avoid those you feel drained by, and…

InJoy!

Some people have a strange knack for leaving us completely drained of energy, struggling to regain our emotional fortitude. These are the toxic people of the world, the energy vampires who use our life source to fuel their own wicked being. They slowly siphon off our emotional, physical and psychic energies.

The energy vampire sounds like a nasty person you’d be able to spot if they were walking down a busy street. But, they’re actually everyday people like me and you. They’re our friends, family members, coworkers, acquaintances. Our sons, daughters and partners.

The truth is that anyone in our lives can become toxic to us if we’re not careful about the boundaries we establish. Vampiric people choose to leech off of people they know aren’t going to stop them. So, it’s up to you to protect yourself.

Here are six types of energy-drainers that you should consider getting out of your life:

The Victim / The Martyr

Everyone knows a person who just loves to play the victim, no matter what’s happening in their life. They believe that all of their suffering is not caused by any actions they personally take, but caused by the actions and doings of others.

They have zero self-esteem, so where do they look for it? In others, who will always be there to compliment them, reaffirm their existence, and approve of what they’re doing. They seek out validation in the only way they know how: making others feel bad for them.

The Narcissist

The narcissist vampire operates just as you’d expect him or her to. They place their needs and desires before everyone else’s and expect you to do the same. They live entirely under the control of their ego. These people tend to be quite charming and charismatic at first, but quickly make you realize just how harmful to your well-being they truly are. To spot one of these people, look for someone who make you feel small.

The Steamroller / The Dominator

These fascinating energy vampires are the people who are utterly obsessed with being superior to others. They view themselves as the “alpha” humans, with everyone else beneath them. But, this facade of power only exists because of their deep insecurities and fears of being weak. So, they choose to intimidate people more often than not.

They see the world in black-and-white, offering up no compromise for the gray areas in life. These are often the racists, bigots and sexist individuals on our planet.

The Drama Vampire

This type of energy-sucker is one who creates drama in everyone’s world so that they can feel special and worthy of attention. They’re the gossips that you’d expect to tell everyone that certain thing you told them never to tell anyone. They avoid any real problems in their lives because they feel that they are victims.

The Judgemental

The judgemental energy vampire is one who outwardly judges others just as much as they inwardly judge themselves. They have incredibly low self-esteem; they choose to only see the flaws and imperfections in others, because that is all that they can see in themselves. They gain an ego boost by belittling those around them.

The Innocent Ones

Not every toxic, energy-draining person comes into your world for the sole purpose of wreaking havoc. In some cases, the people who feed off of you are doing so unknowingly. These could be best friends or children who have come to rely on us a little more than they should.

While it’s important for you to be there for the innocent vampires, you must also recognize how important it is for them to be self-reliant. You cannot be the answer to every one of their problems. If you are, you will eventually have no energy left to support yourself and the things you like to do in life.

h/t Loner Wolf

Source: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/2016/11/6-types-of-energy-vampires-that-leave.html

 

Ask Mystic: I Think I Have A Qi Vampire On My Doorstep & I Am Going Insane

Ask Mystic: I Think I Have A Qi Vampire On My Doorstep & I Am Going Insane

I had a huge falling-out with an (ex) friend before Xmas. Unfortunately, she lives next door to me: Our front doors literally face each other and our doormats are less than one-foot apart. She leaves her door open all the time. I love my qi flow too, but also like my privacy and like to respect others. I am doing my best to avoid, be zen, ignore the pass-agrgo acts and not react, but it is internalizing and driving me mental. I have tried to take the path of least resistance, but in my heart I can’t reconcile the friendship.

I am a pretty intuitive Cancerian Sun+Moon+Ascendant, Lilith in Scorpio in 4th House, Scorpio rules the 5th, Libra rules 4th. She is scary-psychic Pisces with Aries/Sag Rising/Moon. We are both mega sensitive and reactive with lots of fire and water in our charts. We both smudge and use crystals etc.

My gut feeling + intellect tell me this person is mega-needy, manipulative and plays games if things don’t go her way. She seems to get what she wants after tons of drama.

Cutting to the chase: I am a bit scared of doing a “Get fuq’d and stay fuq’d” type chant as I don’t want to wish her ill-will or create a bad karma situation for myself. I want her out of my (previously) peaceful life and home environment, out of the flat next door, off my doorstep and out of my head. A friend suggests I just need to be okay with her being there. I’ve tried but its really hard. Any advice?

I have read your posts on protection and I have been using salt and garlic across my doorway (which stopped a passive-agrgo incident playing at my door while the perpetrator went out for a couple of hours). I am smudging with sage and mugwort, burning frankincense and meditating like a mo-fo so I don’t completely lose it, but I can’t stop obsessing over the situation and just want this person out of my life. I am focusing on protecting my space and place here. Against my own needs, I recommend her for the apartment, which she gloated she manifested. Lesson learned.

In other situations I would cut my losses, pack my bags, call the removalist, find another place, but I don’t have the luxury or the energy. And, I was here first, and this apartment is one of the best things that has happened in my life after years of moving frequently, and not having my own space. I’m also recovering from major health problems, of which stress was a contributing factor, and don’t have any more energy to waste on this situation. That said, I have learned some MASSIVE lessons this through this drama (with the help of my psychologist) and am working on gratitude.

About 3 weeks before we had the instigating falling out, she saw a clairvoyant/tarot reader in Sydney who told her she was going to have a falling out with a close girlfriend over jealousy…. I laughed out loud at the time and said “Well, its not me!” I think the jealousy is hers, I could be wrong, I’m not perfect but WHOA.

The night before she moved in, there was a cat-fight in the front courtyard … you hardly ever see a cat in my street. I had a sinking feeling at the time as I was already feeling uneasy about her moving in.

Thanks for your astro-site and any advice you can offer.

Dear Cancerian In An Eclipse,

Okay so I asked my fabulous Feng Shui lady for her thoughts, which are below.  But my astro-advice?  I understand the stress of this, especially as a Crab Woman – this is your Power Lair feeling under threat!  But is it? First of all, it is actually better to have a powerful woman living right next door to you than – say – a skeevy gentleman or a person whom you know for a fact was mean to their children or pets.

This scenario you are conjuring makes me think of two potent witches living side by side or Bette Davis and Joan Crawford in Whatever Happened To Baby Jane – not that either of you are decrepit or bitter but the concept of two powerful females at loggerheads but deep down, there is grudging respect.

And unless whatever sparked the feud was a truly heinous act, i would suggest reminding yourself that Jupiter in Libra is fantastic for strong alliances, diplomacy and feud resolution. Also that you want to fix this before Jupiter squares Pluto in early April. What better time than Venus turning Retro (this weekend) to reconsider a female-female friendship and make amends.

Also, to be absolutely Machiavellian about it, being the person reaching out to resolve this in eloquent fashion puts YOU in the power position. Holding the grudge – a common Cancerian trait, unfortunately – keeps you in a sort of ‘resentful serf’ role. Why not go over AS Venus goes Retrograde, with an appropriate gift and your most noble, affable attitude. Or write on the card with the gift (a scented candle?) something about how glad you are to have recommended her for the apartment as it is nice to have a familiar neighbor.

Am i missing something? If you feel she is a drama-queen, just set your drama tolerance levels real low and rise above anything turgid by not marinating in resentment. You can maintain diplomatic relations with a person/country without necessarily approving of everything about them/it. And you can limit your engagement to a level you are comfortable with. Or are you saying that this person is one of those All or Nothing people?

This is the Feng Shui Version.

Every building has its own distribution of energy which would need to be taken into account (like doing a natal birth chart when you look at the transits) aside from the annual influences. Having said that, here are some general points. Some Feng Shui consultants and websites would suggest hanging a Bagua mirror on your front door to reflect her negativity however I would advise against that as if she is energy aware – she sounds like she is – this would be seen as quite an aggressive act and no doubt you would find her reciprocating with a Bagua mirror on her door as well – this will just give the conflict a back and forward trajectory which will magnify itself and make it worse rather than better.

Instead, I would suggest looking at what is happening in the West area of your home. This year (as of 3rd February based on the Chinese Solar calendar) the annual energy shifted and for the rest of the year, conflict energy is visiting the West of every premises.

A way to harmonise the conflict energy is by using red however, without knowing the underlying building’s Feng Shui (this can be done by getting a remote report done) I am hesitant to suggest placing red here as you could inadvertently be activating sickness energy or energy that supports financial problems. The safest solution would be to put some metal in the West. This will harmonise the conflict energy and won’t play havoc with any underlying energy. This could be a metal windchime outside (6 or 7 rod best) or use metal items or round objects to harmonise the visiting conflict energy inside.

Remove any objects made from wood (including books) from the West and any light blue or green items as these help support the conflict energy as well.

You can drill down a further level and look at what is happening in the South of your home as well, because this month there is conflict energy visiting here. You can follow the previous recommendations for the South for this month too until the 4th March.

There is another type of energy that could be causing issues for you this year which relates to the Grand Duke (relates to the planet Jupiter). Try and avoid sleeping with your head pointing to the West or sitting facing the West if at all possible, especially if you were born in the Year of the Rooster!

Great you are smudging regularly as well!

SO WHAT DOES EVERYONE ELSE THINK?

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Energy Vampires: 15 Ways to Manage The Leeches In Your Life – Pocket Mindfulness

Being an adult sucks — there’s the endless pressure to act like one, the demands of work and personal and interpersonal relationships, and the responsibility to take care of yourself.

To survive and thrive we need a hell of a lot of energy, both physically and mentally (emotionally).

We are energy beings. Life is energy, projected and received in various ways.

So what could be worse than someone sucking that energy out of your life and reducing your ability to cope with your everyday challenges and chores?What

Well, what’s worse is not really knowing it is happening and why, and ending up demotivated, stressed and even depressed because of it.

In this post, I’m going to help you identify the energy vampires in your life and give you some solid tips on how to stop being a victim and take back responsibility for your own energy: your happiness, health and vitality

What Are Energy Vampires, and Are You a Victim?

If you’ve ever had an encounter with a person that left you feeling tired, drained, or even guilty, then you may well have been a victim of an energy vampire.

Energy vampires are quite simply those people around you that suck the life/energy out of you, leaving you feeling drained, energy-less and even depressed.

You see, people operating on low energy subconsciously seek to recharge themselves by leeching energy from other people.

The thing is, an energy vampire is not necessarily conscious of what they are doing, and may be in an emotionally unstable state through no fault of their own.

Regardless, energy theft can harm both the perpetrator and the victim, and it’s important to be aware of how.

For example, feeding off the energy of others can…

The 6 Key Different Types of Energy Vampire

To prepare for and guard yourself against energy vampires it is vital to recognize their strategies. Setting boundaries for such people will be easier once you learn to identify the way in which they operate.

There are six main types of energy-sucking vampires, and who knows, perhaps one or more of these have been lurking around your life for some time.

1. The Dominator Vampire

Superiority is the name of the game for dominator vampires. These vampires love to be in control and intimidate their victims.

Often, dominator vampires have a number of insecurities around being hurt, wronged, or weakened by others, so they try to conceal the emotional trauma by dominating/taking control of others.

Generally, this type of vampire has rigid opinions and cynical perceptions of life, which may make them discriminatory and prejudiced.

2. The Judgmental Vampire

From a bird’s eye view, judgmental vampires love to bully other people, but zoom in a little closer and you’ll see their own shattered self-worth.

They feed their ego by highlighting and making fun of your insecurities until you feel pathetic and small. Basically, judgmental vampires treat others just how they treat themselves.

3. The Melodramatic Vampire

If there was an energy vampire Oscars, the melodramatic vampire would take home the award for best actor.

As implied by the name, melodramatic vampires have the need to create drama, mainly because they need to feed the void they feel inside.

They love a crisis and being involved in problematic situations. They thrive on being victimized and therefore are in need of attention and love. Your energy will be drained when you get sucked into the drama they create.

4. The Narcissistic Vampire

We’re all aware of people who are narcissists — those who lack empathy for others and have a need for admiration. People with this condition are frequently described as arrogant, self-centered, manipulative and demanding.

Narcissist energy vampires are the same: they don’t have a genuine interest in others. Their motto is “me, me, me”.

They are manipulative: They charm you, leaving you powerless to fend off their influence to put them first at all costs, and massage their ego.

5. The Victim Vampire

Also known as martyr vampires, victim vampires target you through guilt. Usually, this type of person has remarkably low self-esteem.

They believe that their suffering is mainly due to others, so instead of taking responsibility for their lot in life, they blame and emotionally pressure others.

Victim vampires don’t receive enough love and acceptance from others, and this unworthiness makes them prey on your energy until you feel overly compassionate. Once you’re sucked in, you feel guilty if you don’t pay them attention and subsequently end up giving more than you can afford.

6. The Innocent Vampire

There are energy vampires who are innocent and aren’t aware that they’re stealing the energy of those around them.

Good examples are your overly dependent friends who rely on you that bit too much, and children in the family who see you as their caretaker and become overly needy of you.

While it’s great that you show compassion to these people, it’s important to motivate them to be self-reliant.

15 Ways to Manage Energy Vampires

As with blood-sucking vampires, most energy vampires can’t steal your energy if you don’t invite them to.

You have free will: you have a choice as to how much time and energy to spend with and give other people. You can and should set limits and boundaries because, at the end of the day, you’re always at a disadvantage if you let others suck the life out of you.

1. Recognize the Issue & Step Back

If you’re naturally compassionate, you are at risk of giving too much of your energy away. So when a person is causing you to feel exhausted, irritated, stressed, or depressed, you should take a step back and consider your position.

Recognizing people’s intentions is the first step: only then can you weigh up the situation and decide whether the relationship is healthy or not.

Take stock of the actions and intentions of those in your life. If a relationship is valueless, cut it off. If it concerns family and close friends, considering working it out with the help of a professional.

Don’t let the negativity of others leech your energy. You will end up worse off.

2. Manage Your Time Efficiently

Attending to a good friend’s or family member’s needs is a wonderful thing to do, but remember that as much as they need you, you need time to yourself, too.

It’s not worth sitting around someone for hours on end only to leave tired and stressed. Know your energy limits and live according to them. Set aside time for others but leave enough for focus and attention on yourself.

3. Choose Your Battles Carefully

Arguing with others, particularly those who have rigid beliefs, will only cost you time and energy. While it’s tempting to disagree and argue it out, recognize that for people to change, they must be willing to change first.

Don’t get red-faced and exhausted debating with someone who refuses to even consider your point. You’ll leave stressed, upset and maybe even lose sleep. Not good.

4. Keep Your Vibration Elevated

Some energy vampires don’t want to see a positive reaction from you; they want you to feel depleted and depressed, like they do inside. As a preference they go for people with lower vibrations, as they are easier to penetrate (ooh er, missus. Sorry).

So, keep your vibration level high by smiling and staying positive about life. As the Beach Boys famously sung: ‘Gotta keep those lovin’ good vibrations a happenin’.

5. Avoidance

One direct way to prevent energy vampires from leeching off you is to avoid them.

This isn’t always the best method though, as you might be throwing away an opportunity to develop yourself in dealing with such a person, and depending on how close the person is to you, a invaluable relationship might be at stake.

Use avoidance when your energy is low and you simply can’t deal with the person at that moment in time.

6. Don’t Post Your Entire Life on Social Media

Posting your life as you live it on social media is a good way to attract energy vampires, particularly the judgmental type.

Avoid letting other people know about your secrets, news, plans, or opinions through Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

Only post the information you’re prepared to be criticized about; otherwise, keep your fingers away from the ‘post something’ section.

7. Minimize the Impact with Group Interaction

When interacting with a vampire, having two or three other people around will lower the level of attention you’ll receive and the energy required to be given. If you you find yourself being drained by a conversation, draw a couple of other people into the conversation to take the strain off.

8. Keep Minimal Eye-Contact

If you regularly encounter an energy zapper at work and want to avoid them as best as possible, only occasionally make direct eye-contact when speaking with that person.

This is an obvious indication that you aren’t hooked by their allure and are not overly interested in their emotionally-charged conversation.

9. Listen, Don’t Talk

Much of the energy you release will come from talking, as you are lured further into the energy pit. Talking requires more energy than listening, and a nod or a “yes” doesn’t take much energy either.

To avoid talking too much, ask open-ended questions such as “how” and “why”. This will naturally make the other person do more of the talking. After all, most energy drainers just want an ear to bend, anyway.

10. Reaffirm Your Self-Worth

When feeling drained and negative after an encounter, particularly with the dominator and judgmental types, re-center your energy by repeating positive thoughts and affirmations. Meditation is also a great way to re-channel your positive energy and release the negativity.

11. Change the Focus of the Conversation

When talking with an energy-sucking individual, stick to light-hearted topics. Change the focus of the discussion and neutralize it when it becomes negative, depressing or stressful.

12. Stay Calm, Don’t Reactive

Remember, energy vampires want attention; to provoke a reaction from others. Don’t rise to the bait. Remain calm and on topic, and deflect invasive and negative comments and suggestions that you don’t feel comfortable with.

If you feel yourself becoming emotionally charged, go to point 13.

13. Leave If You Need To

Remember that no one can force you to be around them. So if you find yourself on a day when you just can’t deal with this energy leech anymore, take a deep breath and excuse yourself. Go surround yourself with some happy, positive people!

14. Don’t Feel Bad

As previously mentioned, energy vampires feed on your reactions. For them, empathetic people are easy targets, because most energy vampires have low self-worth.

But once they suck on your energy, you’ll be left feeling like you have a void too. Don’t let yourself be dragged into their pity party; walk away or change the focus.

15. Let It All Go

I talk about “letting go” a lot on this blog and, once mastered, many aspects of life become much easier.

No matter how hard some tries, their words can’t drain you if you don’t allow them to. It’s not easy, I know, but learning to hear but not absorb and let go will keep your energy high.

In Conclusion

While energy vampires can steal your positive energy, they can’t succeed unless you allow them to affect you.

However, given that most of us are generally compassionate and empathetic, we can’t always keep our distance from such people or the circumstances they are caught up in.

Moreover, any one of our friends or family members could turn into an energy vampire at any given time, depending on what life throws at them. It might be a short phase during an emotional struggle, or a more permanent period of life in the case of real tragedy or trauma.

So rather than avoid people through fear, it is best to remain compassionate and supportive while learning how to manage your time effectively and control your energy distribution.

It’s key to know when you need some “me time”, and know what you need to do to recharge.

In my experience, the best way recharge is to surround yourself with positive people whose values align with your own. Remember, you are your own guardian, but the company you keep will help you create a healthy energy space too.

Dealing with exhaustion and energy vampires.

Transformational Tidbits

August 2014:Dealing with exhaustion and energy vampires.    

Have you ever noticed how draining it is to be around certain people? You may feel tired, get a headache or feel a tightness in your chest. Similarly, you may feel overwhelmed when a good friend or family member draws you into problems that they are facing. More often than not, you would have taken on issues that aren’t your own on behalf of those around you.

We are all empathic to a certain extent and when we don’t cleanse and replenish our own energy through our connection with Source/God & the Earth and pull out other people’s energy from our own energy field, we get more and more exhausted and can eventually create dis-ease in our own bodies.

I recently wrote about a daily practice to get present, ground yourself and connect to Source/God which can be read here This will keep you connected and replenish your energy. Here is a handy tool to use at the end of each day (or more often if relevant) to pull out energy that isn’t yours and call back your own energy.

Once you have gotten present, grounded yourself and connected to Source/God, imagine a bubble in front of you with a magnet in it. Turn the magnet on and let it pull out any energy (from your physical and energetic bodies) that is not yours. This can be energy that has been given to you or you have taken from others. Now, call on the violet flame to cleanse this energy and then send it back to all of the people it came from. You don’t have to see or name the people, just know that it is being returned to them as balls of energy.

Put up another bubble in front of you with a magnet in it. Call back all of your energy that has been taken from you or you have given to others. See balls of energy come flying into the bubble, call upon the violet flame to cleanse it and take it back into your energy field – it knows where it needs to go.

This is a general catchall process although can be done with one specific person in mind if you feel the need. Once you have completed the process, don’t forget to fill in with gold.

You should feel lighter, invigorated and calmer. If you haven’t done much energy clearing, it is a good idea to start doing individual energy swops with all of the people you are close to and any-one from your past that you feel you still have issues with.

I would love to hear how this impacts on your life so please drop me a note in the comments section below and wishing you a wonderful month ahead!

Let your dreams be bigger than your fears, your actions louder than your words and your faith stronger than your feelings

Love and blessings

Peta
Managing Director
Spiritual Quest Journeys

Picture Credit: Michael Lorentz (Passage to Africa)

August Spotlight 

Free live Webinar on Egypt: 
Join Charlotte Szivak, Patricia Awyan and Peta Panos for a free webinar on Egypt and receive a Diamond Kundalini Activation download by Charlotte Szivak when you sign up.

When: WED 6 AUG 7 – 8h30 pm (CET)

Where: Google hangout

On this 90 min call, you will:

# Meet soul igniter and Journey Leader, Charlotte Szivak; Director of the Khemitology School, Patricia Awyan; and owner of Spiritual Quest Journeys, Peta Panos.
# Hear an update on the political situation and safety issues in Egypt
# Absorb information about the key Sacred Sites in Egypt
# Be activated through a live meditation by Charlotte Szivak
# Understand more about the Gods and Goddesses of Ancient Egypt and how they can affect us today
# Learn more about the Khemitology School, Charlotte´s work and Spiritual Quest Journeys
# Get the opportunity to sign up for the November journey to Egypt physically or Holographically

Questions will be taken at the end, time allowing. Sign up HERE

To receive your free download, email  Peta@spiritualquestjourneys.com

Special offer on 2015 Spiritual Diary & personal guide:

The 2015 Sojournal – diary and personal guide, is the 8th edition of it’s kind and has grown in popularity, Internationally. I have been using the Sojournal for the past 4 years and find it inspiring, useful and full of interesting information.
Place your order now to avoid disappointment and if you are looking for trendy Christmas gifts or want to get your Sojournal personalised, you can request a name on the cover.
For all the lightworkers out there: We have arranged a special offer (until the end of July) for you to promote your business in the 2015 Sojournal Directory. This will put your business in the hands of potential clients for the entire year and for a fraction of the cost of a magazine ad. All graphic advertisers get a free copy of the Sojournal and a free listing on the website with a link. Make sure you book your spot by the end of July!

Spiritual Quest Journeys subscribers will receive a10 % discount off the below prices.

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Place your order by emailing Julisa@sojourney.co.za or order via the website and mention Spiritual Quest Journeys in order to qualify for your discount: Sojournal – Diary and Personal Guide 2015

Where are you going in 2014?

Where are you going in 2014? Check out our incredible journey offering:

In a world where we are overwhelmed by the constant bombardment of technology, responsibilities and relentless pursuit of our goals, it is critical that we regularly take some time to step back from our day to day lives and objectively reassess where we are on our life path, who we have become, and more importantly, who we choose to be in the future.

At Spiritual Quest Journeys, we believe that there is no better way to do this, than to explore both our outer and inner worlds. Our spiritual tours explore ancient sacred sitesmystical and magical locationsfascinating placesholistic wellness centers and retreats around the world. Most importantly, we recognize that time away is hard earned vacation time and our tours are imbued with a sense of excitement, adventure and fun.

As spiritual travelers ourselves, we acknowledge the importance of a well balanced tourism offering, and each itinerary is carefully designed to offer a subtle blend of seamless destination management; interconnectedness with the earth, exploration of the area and culture; personal development, relaxation and integration time; ceremonies and meditation; group consciousness support and guidance; and something unique and exclusive. In essence, unique travel experiences that an individual would be hard pressed to create on their own.

So if you are waiting to exhale or looking for an amazing life changing experience, explore our website or contact us.

Life changing spiritual tours to enrich your life

Land of Leprechauns and Celtic Magic 
Ireland | 22 – 31 August 2014
The spirit of Etruscan Italy
Italy | 25 Sept – 2 Oct 2014
Nepal – Yoga, Yaks and Yetis
Nepal | 1 – 11 Nov 2014
Egypt Ancient Egyptian Wisdom and Mysticism
Egypt | 8 – 20 November 2014
Peru – Expansion of the Heart 
Peru | 23 Nov – 7 Dec 2014
Tour pic Spectacular South Africa 
South Africa | Dec 2014
Sedona – Beyond the Vortex
USA | February 2014
 Tour pic  Take a walk on the wild side Zambia | 18 – 25 May 2015

If you would prefer to travel on your own or with friends and family, we can tailor make tours to all of our destinations.

If you are unable to make the journeys physically, we do offer Holographic Journeys on all tours with Charlotte Szivak. For the upcoming holographic Journey to Egypt, please visit Egypt – Alchemy & Divine Egyptian Magick and scroll to the bottom of the page for more details. To book, please contact Peta@spiritualquestjourneys.com

If you believe you have what it takes to be a journey leader and would like to travel with your own groups, please contact me: Peta@spiritualquestjourneys.com

Intuitive Soul Readings

“I highly recommend Peta´s intuitive coaching sessions because of the unique way she interacts with each individual. Peta has a very soothing and gracious way of guiding one to the root cause of the issue, without being pushy or invasive. Her approach is calming and led from her heart space. I love the techniques she uses to get one centered in the moment, grounded and connected before looking at the energy – this was very refreshing and helpful for me.

Peta is then able to shift the energy with ease and grace. She comes at it from the spiritual energetic side and fills your heart with love. I felt like I had a champion on my side and was able to move through the blocks easily and could take on my desires and goals from a calming, stable, well-balanced place. As I mentioned above, I would recommend Peta time and time again because of the beautiful person she is and the techniques she uses are powerful and effective.”

Susan Goldberg
Business Development Director –  U.S.A

Are you living the life of your dreams?

If there are areas of your life where you are experience lack, indecision or frustration and are ready to live fully and in joy, contact Peta for a personal intuitive soul reading. With your permission, Peta will tune in and read your energy as it is currently and identify what needs to be released, shifted or manifested before guiding you through an energetic process.

Sessions are available over skype or in person.

For more information and for bookings, please email me at Peta@spiritualquestjourneys.com.

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6 Types of Energy Vampires That Emotionally Exhaust You

November 5th, 2018

By Aletheia Luna

Guest writer for Wake Up World

Have you ever felt completely drained, depleted and exhausted around a particular person, for no apparent reason?

An energy vampire is a person who feeds off your emotional, or psychic, energy. People who display energy vampire traits generally lack empathy, sensitivity, and emotional maturity. As a result of the pain or insecurity they feel inside, energy vampires are addicted to preying on the vitality of others as an attempt to heal their inner suffering.

An energy vampire could be anyone: a friend, a family member, a colleague, an acquaintance, a child, a son or daughter, or even a romantic partner. If you’re a highly empathetic and caring person, it’s also possible to actively attract energy vampires into your life. Unfortunately, if you’re a highly compassionate person who doesn’t know how to set boundaries, it’s very likely that you’re surrounded by energy vampires right now! Energy vampires are attracted to you because they unconsciously desire to resolve a deeper problem within their psyches — and they perceive YOU as the solution to their problems.

 

6 Types of Energy Vampires

While it’s easy to feel resentful towards energy vampires, it’s important to remember that they haven’t developed the capacity to deal with their issues yet. Energy vampires prey on others because they are in pain. However, the important thing to remember is that you are NOT responsible for resolving their issues. THEY are responsible for sorting out their struggles.

Often, an energy vampire leaves us feeling so drained that we are incapable of taking care of ourselves. As a result of constantly interacting with an energy vampire, we might feel chronically fatigued, depressed, anxious, irritable or angry.

It’s vital that you learn how to “draw the line” and set boundaries around these types of people. Without learning how to identify the different types of energy vampires in your life, it will be difficult for you to practice self-nurturing and assertiveness.

Here are the six main energy vampire types out there:

1. The Victim or Martyr Vampire

Victim or Martyr Vampires prey off your guilt. Victims/Martyrs believe that they are “at mercy” of the world and suffer primarily due to other people. Instead of taking self-responsibility for their lives, Victim/Martyr Vampires continually blame, manipulate and emotionally blackmail others. The dysfunctional behavior of the Victim/Martyr Vampire is due to their extremely low self-esteem. Without always receiving signs of love, thanks, and approval, Victim/Martyr Vampires feel unworthy and unacceptable, which they try to resolve by making you feel guilty and sucking away your sympathy/empathy.

How to nurture your energy: When you’re around a Victim/Martyr Vampire, be aware of the self-pity cues. For example, a self-pity cue could be the person’s tendency to blame another person for their suffering, or perhaps a description of how terrible their day has been. Don’t get involved in their self-pity. Limit your interaction with them if possible.

2. The Narcissist Vampire

A Narcissist Energy Vampire has no capacity to show empathy, or genuine interest, towards other people. Narcissist Vampires carry the unconscious philosophy of “ME first, YOU second.” Therefore, Narcissist Vampires will constantly expect you to put them first, feed their egos and do what they say. Narcissist Vampires will also manipulate you with false charm, but will just as quickly turn around and stab you in the back. If you have a Narcissist Vampire in your life, you might feel a sense of extreme disempowerment as you feel crushed beneath their limelight.

How to nurture your energy: If you’re unable to cut this person off from your life right now, you might like to limit contact. You could also show the Narcissistic Vampire how your requests satisfy their self-interest, particularly if you’re in a working relationship.

3. The Dominator Vampire

Dominator Vampires love to feel superior and like “alpha” males or females. Due to their deep inner insecurities of being “weak” or “wrong” (and therefore hurt), Dominator Vampires must overcompensate by intimidating you. Often Dominator Vampires are loud-mouthed types of people who have rigid beliefs, and black and white perceptions of the world. They are often racist, sexist and/or bigoted.

How to nurture your energy: Agree to disagree. Practice assertiveness when necessary and limit your contact with Dominator Vampires. Realize that their attempt to scare you is sourced from their deep fear of being dominated and thus hurt.

4. The Melodramatic Vampire

The Melodramatic Energy Vampire thrives on creating problems. Often, their need to create constant drama is a product of dark underlying emptiness in their lives. Melodramatic Vampires also love seeking out crisis because it gives them a reason to feel victimized (thus special and in need of love), an exaggerated sense of self-importance and avoidance from life’s real issues. Another reason why Melodramatic Vampires enjoy creating drama is that the negative emotions that they feed off are addictive (such as anger).

How to nurture your energy: Refuse to take sides or be involved in the Melodramatic Vampire’s pot-stirring. Pay attention to the patterns in their behavior and the triggers that make you want to get involved. Create distance and cut them out of your life if possible.

5. The Judgemental Vampire

Due to their severely low self-worth, the Judgemental Energy Vampire loves to pick on other people. Their treatment of other people is merely a reflection of how they treat themselves. Judgemental Vampires enjoy preying on your insecurities and bolstering their egos by making you feel small, pathetic or ashamed.

How to nurture your energy: Remember that true self-worth must come from within. Refuse to take what the Judgemental Vampire says personally. Be aware of their deeper pain and their need to feel good about themselves. When you get defensive, you lose. Keep a balanced head, and try being sweet to them (that really throws them off balance!). Reduce, or cut off contact with them if possible.

6. The Innocent Vampire

Energy Vampires aren’t always malicious, as in the case of Innocent Vampires. Sometimes they can be helpless types of people who genuinely need help such as children or good friends who come to rely on you too much. It’s good that you help those you care about, but it’s also important that you encourage them to be self-sufficient. Playing the role of the constant “rock” or support will eventually erode away your energy. As a result, you’ll have little energy to support yourself.

How to nurture your energy: Helping those in need is a display of compassion and love, but you also need to remember to love yourself. Gently remind the Innocent Vampire in your life that you need time to yourself as well. Encourage them to develop strength, fortitude and resilience so that you can remove the role of constant caretaker or giver.

Developing the ability to create emotional freedom is an essential life skill. Without it, we can easily get bogged down in disempowering beliefs, fears, roles and duties that drain our life force.

What type of Energy Vampire has appeared the most in your life … and what do you do about it?

Recommended articles by Aletheia Luna:

About the author:

Aletheia Luna is an influential spiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a psychospiritual counselor, tarot reader, and professional writer, Luna’s mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance. See more of her work at .

This article 6 Types of Energy Vampires That Emotionally Exhaust You was originally published on , reproduced with permission.



 

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6 Types Of Energy Vampires That Leave You Emotionally Drained

Some people have a strange knack for leaving us completely drained of energy, struggling to regain our emotional fortitude. These are the toxic people of the world, the energy vampires who use our life source to fuel their own wicked being. They slowly siphon off our emotional, physical and psychic energies.

The energy vampire sounds like a nasty person you’d be able to spot if they were walking down a busy street. But, they’re actually everyday people like me and you. They’re our friends, family members, coworkers, acquaintances. Our sons, daughters and partners.

The truth is that anyone in our lives can become toxic to us if we’re not careful about the boundaries we establish. Vampiric people choose to leech off of people they know aren’t going to stop them. So, it’s up to you to protect yourself.

Here are six types of energy-drainers that you should consider getting out of your life:

The Victim / The Martyr

Everyone knows a person who just loves to play the victim, no matter what’s happening in their life. They believe that all of their suffering is not caused by any actions they personally take, but caused by the actions and doings of others.

They have zero self-esteem, so where do they look for it? In others, who will always be there to compliment them, reaffirm their existence, and approve of what they’re doing. They seek out validation in the only way they know how: making others feel bad for them.

The Narcissist

The narcissist vampire operates just as you’d expect him or her to. They place their needs and desires before everyone else’s and expect you to do the same. They live entirely under the control of their ego. These people tend to be quite charming and charismatic at first, but quickly make you realize just how harmful to your well-being they truly are. To spot one of these people, look for someone who make you feel small.

The Steamroller / The Dominator

These fascinating energy vampires are the people who are utterly obsessed with being superior to others. They view themselves as the “alpha” humans, with everyone else beneath them. But, this facade of power only exists because of their deep insecurities and fears of being weak. So, they choose to intimidate people more often than not.

They see the world in black-and-white, offering up no compromise for the gray areas in life. These are often the racists, bigots and sexist individuals on our planet.

The Drama Vampire

This type of energy-sucker is one who creates drama in everyone’s world so that they can feel special and worthy of attention. They’re the gossips that you’d expect to tell everyone that certain thing you told them never to tell anyone. They avoid any real problems in their lives because they feel that they are victims.

The Judgemental

The judgemental energy vampire is one who outwardly judges others just as much as they inwardly judge themselves. They have incredibly low self-esteem; they choose to only see the flaws and imperfections in others, because that is all that they can see in themselves. They gain an ego boost by belittling those around them.

The Innocent Ones

Not every toxic, energy-draining person comes into your world for the sole purpose of wreaking havoc. In some cases, the people who feed off of you are doing so unknowingly. These could be best friends or children who have come to rely on us a little more than they should.

While it’s important for you to be there for the innocent vampires, you must also recognize how important it is for them to be self-reliant. You cannot be the answer to every one of their problems. If you are, you will eventually have no energy left to support yourself and the things you like to do in life.

h/t Loner Wolf

Source: https://rayviolet.blogspot.com/2016/11/6-types-of-energy-vampires-that-leave.html

Energy Vampires Suck Life Force

 

Energy.  It’s the very strength and vitality we require to live a dynamic, driven and determined life.  We all have it and we all need it, yet many of us find ourselves lifeless and lethargic by the end (and sometimes at the beginning), of the day.

Life is precious and unpredictably short-lived.  It’s no wonder then, that many of us drag ourselves through each day miserable and melancholic with the thought that we could be living much better lives.

Throughout the ages, high-energy has been associated with happy, vivacious people, and low-energy with depressed and apathetic people.  Unfortunately, psychosomatic medicine has shown a strong link between the mind and body, meaning that the less energy we possess, the more prone we’ll be to suffer from illnesses such as depression, anxiety and other mood disorders.

It’s true that the healthy and happy person is one filled with energy.  Without energy, how can we fulfill our dreams, pursue our goals and overcome our obstacles?  Without energy, how can we hope to truly achieve anything of meaning or significance in life?  It’s true that some people naturally possess more energy than others, but have you ever considered why?  Certainly, genetics play a role, but more importantly the environment around us does as well.

Everything is energy

If you want to find the secrets of the universe, think in terms of energy, frequency and vibration. Nikola Tesla

At a sub-atomic level, all that exists in life is composed of vibrating atoms, or pure energy.  Even incorporeal things such as our thoughts, emotions, instincts and sexual drives can be said to be composed of energy.  So essentially, we live in an ocean of motion, and like in the ocean – or any environment on earth for that matter – there are both predators and prey.

If you’re reading this article, chances are that you’re the prey.

Energy vampires

In life, there are just some people who tend to drain us of energy very quickly.  If you’re a Highly Sensitive Person like me, or an Empath, you will be very aware of who sucks your energy and when.

However, not all of us are as sensitive or in-tune with our bodies, and this can be difficult and confusing to deal with.  While some people argue that Energy Vampires are people who can’t sustain their own life force in a positive manner, others speculate that Energy Vampires are well-meaning and normal, yet naturally overbearing people.  The point of this article, however, is not to delve into the psychology of the Energy Vampire, but to identify and explore ways to strengthen and energize our lives in light of them.

How to identify the energy vampire

You will experience the following symptoms of being:

  • Overwhelmed
  • Stressed
  • Physically ill (e.g. headaches, body aches, etc.)
  • Mentally or physically exhausted
  • Irritable and/or anxious

You may notice that the Energy Vampire displays many of the following characteristics:

 

  • Big ego, e.g. loves to debate, argue and pick fights.
  • Aggressive or passive-aggressive tendencies.
  • Paranoia.
  • Resentment and anger issues.
  • Narcissism
  • Melodramatic behavior.
  • Whining and complaining.
  • Bitching and gossiping.
  • Insecurity, e.g. the constant need for reassurance and acceptance.
  • Manipulative behaviors, e.g. guilt tripping, emotional blackmail etc.
  • Jealousy.

Energy Vampires are, in most cases, takers rather than givers who gain free therapy sessions with their family, friends, lovers, colleagues and even children and strangers who are on the receiving end.

It’s also good to realize that Energy Vampires are not always necessarily human beings.  They can also be situations or even physical objects in your life.  Examples include:

  • The internet.
  • The TV.
  • Other electronic devices (e.g. the radio, mobile phone, etc.)
  • Public situations (e.g. crowds, parties, train stations, shopping centers etc.)
  • Animals (e.g. neurotic pets)

The hardest thing about suffering at the hands of an Energy Vampire is when they are part of your family or friends circle.  How can we regain our vitality in such energy-sucking relationships?

10 Ways To Cope

Sure you may be the prey, but there’s no use in playing the role of the victim.  To better your life you need to do something.  Here are some suggestions:

1.  Stop making prolonged eye contact.

I’ve personally found that this is one of the biggest energy absorbers.  The more eye-contact you make, the more you engage with the other person and what they have to say.  Only occasional eye-contact is necessary in this instance.

2.  Set a time limit.

Your time is precious as well, and it’s not necessary for you to sit around for 1 or 2 hours having your energy zapped and brain numbed.  According to your energy level, set a limit of 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes where you can give your focus to the person, and no more.

3.  Learn not to react.

This is very important.  The Energy Vampire feeds off the reactions of others, fueling them to continue on interacting with you.  It’s important for you to learn how to be neutral in your interactions with others, meaning that the display of overly positive or negative emotions should be monitored carefully.

4.  Learn not to argue or contradict.

Yes it’s tempting, but in the long run you can’t change other people unless they change themselves first – the more you resist them, the more they will resist (and drain) you.

5.  Go with other people.

Approaching the Energy Vampire with 1, 2 or 3 other people will help decrease the level of effort expended, and attention received.  For this to work you need to ensure that the additional people aren’t psychic leeches either.

6.  Listen more than talk.

A lot of the time Energy Vampires simply want and need a listening ear.  The more you talk, the more energy you tend to lose (especially if you’re introverted).  Using words such as “why”, “when” and “how” will encourage the psychic sucker to do most of the talking, which in turn will help preserve your energy.

7.  Try sticking to light-hearted topics.

Your conversations don’t need to be depressive and oppressive.  Take control when necessary and change the topic of conversation to something more light and simple.

8.  Visualize.

Many people claim that visualizing protective light/energy shields around them helps to deflect psychic fatigue, and maintain a neutral and calm state of mind.  Try it some time.

9.  Avoid when possible.

This is not always possible, but is a simple and straight-forward technique to assist in your self-preservation.  I don’t recommend this as a consistent resolution, as the less you come in contact with the Vampire/s the less opportunity you’ll have to develop, and put into practice, a useful and necessary life skill.

10.  Cut off contact

This is the last resort.  Sometimes for your own health and happiness, you need to make difficult decisions regarding who you choose to surround yourself with.  In the end, if you continue to suffer, the best option may be to simply cut ties and move on.

SF Source How To Exit The Matrix Nov 2017

5 Signs Of An Energy Vampire Who Kills Your Time And Sucks Your Energy Dry

It is of crucial importance to protect yourself from energy draining people who are better known as Energy vampires.

When you were young, your parents must have taught you to stay away from strangers- “Stranger Danger”, but while growing up, we forget this and then we become an easy target for energy vampires.

If you want to achieve your goal and work with your maximum potential then you need to learn to preserve your energy. You have to stay away from the energy sucking people who are always on the lookout for unaware people.

Here are some tips for you to protect your energy:

1. Check Who Is Calling

People who drain your energy will call you at odd hours, this puts your attention towards them and this drains your energy. It is best to keep your phone on silent during your productive hours.

2. Value Your Time

Energy suckers value only their own time, they will always come late and will put the blame on you for the delay which is caused by them. Some people may have the tendency to get late without any reason, but if you are one of those people then always remember to make up your delay with a warm hug and a coffee.

3. Always In Trouble And You Are The Only One Who Can Help

When you lack energy, you always find yourself in trouble. It’s good to help people out from their troubles, but it is a bad idea to do that every single time. Some lessons are learned in life only after dealing with the difficult situations all by yourself .

4. Asking For Help

Energy suckers are always reluctant to help others, and even if they do, they will always ask for an even bigger favor.

5. Boring people

You’ll find that people who are low on their energy level are boring and unsocial. These people just drag their lives. Stay away from them.

Have you ever encountered any Energy Vampire? Please share your experiences with them with us.


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How to spot (and deal with) an energy vampire

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They leave you feeling drained after every conversation. They want your nonstop attention and the conversation is always about them. They may be charming, charismatic and the life-of-the-party personality. They also may cheat. They may lie. And it’s probably someone else’s fault when something goes wrong.

These are some (but certainly not all) of the traits you might run across in someone who is an “energy vampire.”

An energy vampire is somebody who literally zaps your energy dry.

“An energy vampire is somebody who literally zaps your energy dry,” Judith Orloff, MD, a psychiatrist on the University of California-Los Angeles Psychiatric Clinical Faculty, tells NBC News BETTER.

There are different types and they fall on a spectrum, she adds. There’s the narcissistic drama queen friend who’s always dealing with one crisis or another. There’s the manipulative coworker who doesn’t care who she steps on to get ahead. And there’s the downright psychopathic criminal.

What energy vampires all have in common is they “feed on” (or manipulate) people who will give them air space and open ears.

Unsurprisingly those most often targeted are the sensitive, compassionate, always-see-the-good-in-people types of people, Orloff says. (She’s also author of a book on the topic, “The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People”.)

Energy vampire isn’t a clinical term or diagnosis currently. But Christiane Northrup, MD, author of the recent book “Dodging Energy Vampires”, explains that energy vampire characteristics do tend to map to “cluster B” personality disorders — the ones where people tend to have dramatic, overly emotional or erratic thinking or behavior — which are fairly common, she says. (Northrup spent 25 years practicing obstetrics and gynecology and now focuses on being an advocate for women’s health and wellness.)

Cluster B includes people with antisocial, borderline and narcissistic personality disorders, and each of those is a clinical diagnosis with measurable specific traits spelled out in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition (DSM-5), the diagnostic playbook psychologists use to identify mental health disorders.

“There’s no chemical imbalance in the brain or anything like that,” she adds. But individuals either lack or have a somewhat misguided conscience or moral compass, she says.

According to Northrup, energy vampires also include the extreme end of the spectrum of these personality disorders, namely psychopaths and sociopaths. They are often talented, but manipulative, too. They feed on your good, loving and compassionate energy, and they have no qualms about doing so, she says. They make you feel guilty, as if you’re never giving enough.

Who is and who’s not an energy vampire?

While psychopaths, according to Northrup’s definition, are one type of energy vampire, they’re certainly not the most common ones you might come across. Think of any names that came to mind while as you read the first part of this article. That’s a good way to start identifying the energy vampires in your life, Northrup says.

Not everyone with narcissistic traits or who enjoys being the life of the party is necessarily an energy vampire, she adds. There are some who recognize what they’re doing if you call them out on it and stop. Energy vampires (those who could be diagnosed with a character disorder), however, are addicted to that kind of behavior and the attention they get from it.

Generally they’re self-centered people and they’re somewhat manipulative, Northrup says. “On some level they all know what they’re doing and they do it because it works.”

The non-energy vampires of the world give them the benefit of the doubt that they really do need your love, compassion and good chi, Northrup adds, “because we think they think like we do.” And that’s why energy vampires are so dangerous, she says.

Source

http://nbcnews.com/better/health/how-spot-deal-energy-vampire-ncna896251

Energy Vampires: How to Take Back Your Social Media Life

Social media is a wonderful thing when used in the right ways. It can help us connect to others across the globe, join in groups or clubs that encourage our goals, and be a force we use to bring about change. Unfortunately, there’s always a yin to the yang in life. Knowing how to deal with the bad stuff is key to keeping your mental health in check while using social media.

Social Media Triggers

I often complain about social media, especially Facebook. Most people find it humorous that my paying job is that of a Social Media Admin. I literally read articles, comment back to people, and schedule posts to attract customers to the business I work for. While most things I do for work remain pretty low-key, I’ve seen other companies struggle with bad reviews, trolling in the comments section, and outright rudeness. Some people just like to criticize and be rude and give off negative energy. They probably need a hug, but instead of getting help, they turn to the online world to push forward their own message: one of negativity and anger at whatever is bugging them in the universe.

I’ll be honest. I’ve probably done things in the past that would define me as a “troll”. Sometimes it’s easy to latch on to an idea and when others don’t agree, to angrily make my point. It’s not that it’s bad to be passionate about something, but isn’t healthy to go looking for a fight. This is who I’m referring to in my writing today. Those people who just hate everything and want other people to get sucked in to their anger and vitriol. 

Energy Vampires find pleasure in triggering your emotions. They feed off it and look for ways to cause a negative reaction.

Before I move ahead on this, I want to remind you that if you are feeling sad, upset, crabby, or otherwise, seeking out attention on social media is probably not your best solution. Instead, find a friend to talk to, journal your feelings, or go for a walk. We can all be guilty of saying too much and giving off negativity to others which in turn causes them to feel bad too. (I’m not saying you should never talk about negative stuff. I’m just saying putting up constant posts and negative feedback will probably effect others. Just be careful and mindful of how you are communicating. Asking for help is fine. Looking for a fight isn’t.)

Ok, let’s move ahead.

Permission to Walk Away

It’s hard for me to say if these people are outright nasty and trying to deplete me of energy, but it sure feels that way. Any act of trying to explain yourself turns into more fuel for the fight. This is a red flag to walk away.

Do you ever get sucked into conversations and then find yourself upset, down, or sad for hours afterwards? You’ve probably been sucked into some unnecessary online drama which can destroy your sense of well-being. If you found yourself getting angry and being defensive, this is another sign that it wasn’t a healthy conversation. Here is something I want you to repeat to yourself often:

I DON’T OWE ANYONE MY SERENITY

I actually stole that from Shavon Evelyn who wrote this article–but I repeat it to myself so often, it’s become a mantra for me.  You don’t owe anyone anything. Ever. And you especially don’t owe them your sense of peace. So give yourself permission to walk away from anyone that makes you feel unhappy, sad, or just plain yucky. Feel free to delete, block, hide, and purge those people who attack you or just generally make your mood go from positive to negative in a short amount of time. 

I believe Facebook makes people more unlikable. Not only do you end up seeing posts about everything they do, but then there’s bragging and posting of opinions. It is too much for me. Because I know almost everyone annoys me on Facebook, I will hide people who constantly brag or post too many political posts. More recently, I deleted the app entirely from my phone. I don’t even visit it unless I’m on my laptop which makes my visits a lot less. Many times I don’t even look at my feed at all. I go to the group pages that I like and then leave. This has been extremely helpful to my sense of self.

Why is this important?

Getting sucked into someone’s negativity once or twice is enough to leave us introverts feeling crabby. If it happens over and over again, as it does on social media, we can become negative ourselves. This pattern of being sucked in to someone else’s bad day is extremely toxic. Sometimes we don’t even know why we are cranky and impatient. If you find this is true of yourself, try unplugging your phone for the day and staying off social media. If you felt less moody, then maybe you need to focus on how you’re engaging on social media, your blog, or through email. What are these “emotional vampires” that are stealing your energy and joy?

Other Things to Watch Out For

  • TV Shows or Movies that upset you
  • Text Messaging friends or loved ones with constant drama or bragging
  • Negative email exchanges
  • Mindlessly reading what everyone is posting & their comments 
  • Extremely negative blog posts and comments
  • Your own off-the-wall reactions to posts that trigger you

The key to all these things is to ask yourself, how do I feel after being exposed to this stimuli? Am I drained and burned out or do I feel uplifted? You know what to do if the answer is that you are drained. The best thing you can do is to withdraw, rest, and find something to reset your mood. Awareness of how you feel is extremely important. Once you recognize this, you’ll be able to walk away, set boundaries for the future, and move forward with .

What have you found helpful for protecting yourself emotionally on social media and blogging?

Dodging Energy Vampires with Christiane Northrup

As our culture has become more and more distracted by the overstimulation of our senses, many of us have had to develop a layer of thicker skin.

Scenes too risqué for the screen 30 years ago are now the norm. While seemingly accepted by the masses, many still cringe as they watch where the culture is headed.

From the overt 24-hour newscasts telling us repetitively about the latest tragedy, drama, and trauma, to the sly marketing ploys to get us to buy, drink, eat, or consume the latest and greatest product, we insidiously grow more immune and less sensitive every day.

One of the greatest strengths a person can have is to be a sensitive person in today’s insensitive world—and this is becoming more and more of a challenge.

Sensitive people, also known as empaths, are highly aware. They feel everything. They have a powerful radar system and can feel what people around them feel. By nature, they are more delicate, vulnerable, yet potentially more powerful than those who more easily grow thicker skin.

An empath’s power is easily suppressed by an overstimulated world, making them easy targets for less sensitive, more manipulative energy vampires who take advantage of the more sensitive ones. Because they are more delicate, sensitive and vulnerable, they are easy prey for those whose thicker skin has grown them more insensitive, manipulative and controlling.

While growing thicker skin may seem like the best strategy to endure an insensitive world, the empaths and the sensitive ones may be better served by becoming even more aware—a road less traveled by many.

Sensitive people are never-the-less more powerful, but only once they feel safe enough to re-connect with their inner silence, power, and heightened awareness.

In Dr. Christiane Northrup’s new book, Dodging Energy Vampires, she devotes an entire book to helping the very sensitive find their true power and potential, while protecting themselves from those set out to abuse, use, and control the feelers of the world.

Know Your Emotional Body Type

In addition to the more well-known body type evaluation of vata, pitta, and kapha, Ayurveda describes that there are emotional body types. Knowing your emotional body type can help determine your sensitivity, and lead you on the path back from insensitive to sensitive, where one’s power and happiness truly lie.

The three Ayurvedic emotional body types are:

  1. Sattvic – loving, kind, sensitive, and at peace from within.
  2. Rajasic – satisfied when stimulated by the senses.
  3. Tamasic – withdrawn and depleted from overstimulation.

The goal of Ayurveda is to aspire to become more sattvic, and less tamasic and rajasic.

Our Emotional Body Type Quiz determines how much of these three mental and emotional traits you have, and where they are manifesting in your life.

For example, if you are rajasic around money, all of your satisfaction only comes when you know you are to receive more money.

The sattvic person would find their joy in giving and caring for others, through the window of compassion and understanding.

The tamasic person may find themselves hoarding money and possessions, for fear of losing them.

Understanding your emotional type allows you to see where in your life you lack sattva. Being aware of this will help you find your way back to mental health and happiness, and stop unconsciously being the vampire that Dr. Northrup describes in her book and in our podcast.

Take the Emotional Body Type Quiz now

Finding Your Power—the Eye of the Hurricane

The goal of Ayurveda is to first find your inner peace and calm, and learn how to access that state on demand. Let’s call that the “eye of the storm.”

Once you have found your silence and are open to becoming more aware, then we can take action from that place of peace, calm and sensitivity. Actions from this place are the “winds of the storm.” The bigger the eye, the more powerful the winds.

The concept of “burning your karma” comes from the idea that when you begin to function from a calm, delicate, sensitive, sattvic place, you can finally change—this is the karmic action required to change old, unhealthy emotional patterns.

While our podcast is primarily geared to helping the sensitive ones ward off and protect themselves from the energy vampires of the world, there is also hope for the abusers—but only if they are willing to look within!

Don’t miss this podcast—it is a true game-changer.

The Top 3 Ways to Ward off Energy Vampires

“I want to suck your blood!” said an Energy Vampire.

Jon Gordon’s book, The Energy Bus, is absolutely fantastic…in fact, I have wanted to read it for years, but hadn’t hit the shopping cart button on Amazon until this summer. He defines 10 rules to fuel your life, work, and team with positive energy. One rule stuck out that I think is even more prevalent now than when Gordon wrote the book originally, Rule #6: Post a Sign That Says NO ENERGY VAMPIRES ALLOWED on Your Bus.

Simply put, Gordon defines an energy vampire as a person who drains your energy. These people will “suck the life out of you and your goals and vision if you let them,” he states.

I am going to reframe this for educators and give you three strategies and ideas to ward off “Energy Vampires.”

1 – Don’t Hire Energy Vampires

The number one strategy is to steer clear of Energy Vampires. If you have the opportunity to be part of the hiring process in your school, be cognizant of these type of people. This means during the hiring process you must do your homework. Checking on references, using scenario-based questions, asking questions about teaming and collaboration are musts.

When you check references there are probably set questions your school district requires you to utilize. Follow those questions, but make sure to listen for red flags. When checking a reference, red flags such as the following can be good warning signs to not hire:

  • Difficulty teaming or collaborating
  • Few examples of the candidate working successfully in the school environment
  • Little to no detail in examples of a successful work experience
  • Works well by themselves without support (independent work is fabulous, but are you trying to create an environment where everyone is on their own island, or the same island working for the same goals; be cautious with this positive statement from a reference giver)
  • Long list of job changes (the more someone moves around, the more questions we may have about sustainability and teaming; if this candidate moves from job to job, there must be a reason; even if the candidate is positive in the interview, they may have a dark side…this could be sufficient evidence to determine an Energy Vampire)

During the interview, make sure your questions contain some scenario-based formats. This automatically puts the candidate into the role of a teacher. They must answer from past experience or project what they might do based on their background knowledge. A great question could be the following:

INTERVIEW QUESTION: When you have teamed with colleagues in the past, describe a time when everyone didn’t agree and how your team successfully went to solution.

This question assumes quite a few premises your school may be looking for in their next fabulous teacher: 1) have they have been part of a team before, 2) have they been part of a successful team at some point in their working career, 3) do they have procedures on how to solve problems, 4) how has the team successfully solved a disagreement, and 5) has the candidate been part of the problem solving process and learned something. This question is loaded and you can learn a lot from how the candidate answers or does not answer the question.

Teaming and collaboration can take a team from being lukewarm to boiling when they have respect, compassion, and a set of procedures to solve problems. During an interview, listen through all of the questions to hear if the candidate talks about getting support from others in the education environment. A successful candidate should, without knowing, discuss how the power of “we” solves more problems than “I.”

After you have hired a positive energy person, use a rubric to determine the effectiveness of the team. Here is one I built that will support your team in setting goals in order to “boil”: The Best Teaming Rubric Out There.

In essence, the best strategy is to not hire Energy Vampires.

2 – Call Them Out

Too many times we prance around the real problem like we are on egg shells. For example, a team of three teachers at fifth grade level that is having problems. Two of the teachers work well with each other, the last teacher brings negativity to every meeting. The two teachers know as soon as they sit down to meet, the negativity begins. They are reluctant to confront the teacher because they don’t like conflict. Instead of tackling it head on, the negativity persists and the success of the team is already determined.

Jon Gordon confronts energy vampires head on, he tells them, “Look, I don’t allow any negativity on my bus. If you are not going to be positive and contribute to our vision then you’re off the bus and you’ll have to look for another job.”

I understand a teacher may not be able to say those exact words and have the power of hiring and firing a colleague. As a principal, I do want teachers to confront this problem as a team first before it is brought to my attention. Sometimes I don’t even know the problem because teachers didn’t want to burden me with another problem as they see me tackling student and parent issues all day. In reality, I would prioritize this a head of many other problems I deal with daily. If you don’t believe this affects students, then you are mistaken. A teacher versus teacher problem can affect (in the above scenario) upwards of 75 students. Dealing with one student or one parent does not equate to supporting teachers to solve a problem of this magnitude.

Just like working with students, we can address other teachers with some basic verbiage. Using “I” statements is a good start.

  • I feel….
  • I am frustrated when…
  • I am looking for more positive…
  • I feel the correct thing is…
  • I am disappointed when…

Calling out an energy vampire can take time, especially if you don’t have another option. Depending on the trusting relationship that has been built, determines how blunt your words may need to be when addressing the colleague. Here are some questions to ponder before you call them out:

  • Does your team have procedures to tackle curriculum, instruction, and assessment?
  • Does your team have a set of procedures when tackling a situation when everyone doesn’t agree?
  • Does the teacher know when you get frustrated, mad, or disappointed?
  • Does the teacher want to solve problems or merely bask in the smell all day?
  • Have you ever told the teacher your true feelings when you get frustrated with them?
  • Do you feel you can confront the teacher?

After confronting an energy vampire and letting them know how you feel, did you see a change? If you did, here is a great reinforcing article I wrote that can be shared on the importance of staff culture (I share this with my staff every year), 212 Degrees of Customer Service in Education.

If not, getting support from the principal may be the next step. Hopefully, the principal has had some success with these type of people or has some ideas on what to do next. The principal can back door many conversations with the energy vampire that may help steer the bus in the correct direction. The next step would be having a sit-down with the whole team and walking through some scenarios looking for compromise.

Lastly, if nothing is working so far (and, if the principal is supportive and has a backbone), the next step is for the principal to meet one-on-one with the energy vampire and start a plan of improvement. The rest of the teacher team will not be privy to these conversations, but will hopefully see changes with the team. If the principal doesn’t see changes, then the principal must get the energy vampire off the bus!

We must call out energy vampires!

3 – Treat Energy Vampires as a Sickness

The last option is the most disappointing, but may be the reality for a majority of teachers across the nation. Do not get me wrong, I do care about tenure and I am glad we have it, but there are certain blood sucking people that should not have tenure…you guessed it, ENERGY VAMPIRES!

This option is for the teachers and principals who have put a ton of time and energy into to the vampire, and are getting nowhere with him or her. Unfortunately, the principal may not have went the route of a plan of improvement or evaluated the vampire accordingly (notice how the principal is the key here). There are certain situations where the principal may have prioritized other needs of the school first. In reality, this should be the number one need. An energy vampire affects an enormous amount of students causing problems…problems the principal may not understand are coming to him or her because of this vampire!

If the principal is unable to remove this energy vampire, and your words and efforts have not been fruitful, we must treat them as a sickness. No one wants to get sick…sick from negativity. We wash our hands more, move further away from someone who is coughing, and may even chose to be in another location because of the sickness.

Washing our hands means we are being proactive to not get sick. We may hear negativity, but we move away or combat it with positivity and reframing a conversation. We wash our hands and even put sanitizer on our hands. When we put sanitizer on our hands it is equivalent to finding other people who are positive, or going to a place in our own minds that brings us back to a place of positivity to replace or combat the negativity. We must wash our hands routinely.

We move away from someone who is coughing. We hear the cough, we determine if the person is choking or truly sick. When we determine they are sick, we take preventative measures. In a room where we are required to be, we move away from them. The cough represents spewing negativity. We move away from the negativity and find people in the room that are more positive. It is fascinating how people will move towards other positive people in a room. Just as fascinating are the people that gravitate towards the sickness, or negativity. Why do these people do that? Gossip and negativity intrigue people and it seems to come out of people’s mouths and in their actions much easier than positivity. You know those people who have RBF, Resting Bad Face (Some of you may know a different acronym). Their face makes it look like they are always mad or upset. RBF’s have built in magnets…they attract each other! We must move away from negativity.

If we have the chance to move out of a location where there are sick people, we must do so for safety! Obviously, if we are around sick people, we inevitably will become sick as well. In the education realm, if we have a chance to move away from negativity, we must for the health of our students and ourselves. We must change teams, grade levels, and even schools to get away from this negativity.

Sometimes we are stuck in a situation because it is the only job we can get, the only school in the area, and we are doing the job because we love kids and people in general. If this is the case, then we must treat energy vampires as though they have a sickness. Stay away from energy vampires!

A PLUG FOR JON GORDON: Read his book, The Energy Bus, to learn of the other rules for positivity! Thanks, Jon, for the fabulous book that connects so well with education and our daily lives!

Beware Of The Energy Vampires

By Dr. Heidi Hanna

When it comes to managing your energy, guest blogger Dr. Heidi Hanna shares the top five energy pitfalls among top performers – and how to avoid them.

Having worked with financial advisors for nearly a decade, I’ve seen a lot of stress and burnout. Sometimes, in the daily grind of being an advisor, bad habits can sneak up on us. Fortunately, with the right mind-set, even the worst habits can be overcome.

As part of my practice in integrative neuroscience and holistic wellness, I’ve identified the top five energy pitfalls among top performers – and what you can do to avoid them.

1. Flatlining

Those days when you’re doing back-to-back meetings in an “always-on” state? You may think all that adrenaline is your best friend. But, it turns out it’s a fickle friendship. Just as the name implies, flatlining occurs when the body operates in a continuous state of energy with no intervals of recovery or recharging.

THE SOLUTION:

Take breaks! At regular intervals, schedule time to relax. On high-performance days with a lot of client interaction, take 5-10 minutes of alone time between meetings for quiet reflection and deep breathing. These short periods of down time will recharge your body for better balance and endurance.

2. Second-hand Stress

The most successful financial advisors share a common trait: empathic personalities. Being able to listen and truly understand another’s perspective, to intuitively know how to negotiate with any person in any situation – those are winning skills for any sales person. But there’s a downside to all that empathy: it can also make you sensitive to the stress and other negative emotions in those around you.

THE SOLUTION:

There will always be moments when our clients, colleagues and even family will bring stressful energy into your world – that’s just part of life. And while we can be sympathetic, we don’t have to take it on. Learn where to draw boundaries. Stay focused on the things you can control, and the things that fulfill you. By maintaining a positive mind-set, you’ll demonstrate strong leadership and, very likely, bring calm and comfort to the “stressors” among you.

3. Faulty Fuel

Fueling your body with food is essential. But overdoing – or underdoing – it can obliterate your reserves of energy.

THE SOLUTION:

Be strategic in how you eat. Several small meals and snacks throughout the day maintain consistent energy and metabolism. Watch your beverage consumption as well. A little coffee may kick-start your day and a glass of wine may wind you down at the end of it, but too much of either one can have a crash and burn after-effect. And of course, drink plenty of water. Being dehydrated is the number one cause of feeling tired.

4. Lack of Movement

Today they say sitting is the new smoking, and the science is there to prove it. The average U.S. adult sits for nearly eight hours per day, leading to everything from heart disease to back problems to a foggy brain.

THE SOLUTION:

Plan to move regularly throughout the day. Sitting may be a hard habit to break since it’s so ingrained in every part of our lives, but building in alternatives will have extraordinary effects. Use an app that reminds you to stand and walk around every 60 minutes. Add a standing desk to your office, so you can alternate how you work. Or promise yourself to start standing and pacing with every phone call you take, so you’ll get blood pumping to your brain and stay sharp while you talk.

5. Brain Fatigue

Just like your body, the brain is an organ that uses different parts to execute various functions. And it needs a regular “total workout” to stay in shape. Overtaxing certain parts of your brain, like the logical/analytical portion, while undertraining others (creative/reflexive) can leave you feeling out of balance and losing steam. And multitasking, once a badge of honor, is really leading to decreased productivity, leaving you feeling frustrated and stressed.

THE SOLUTION:

Variety. Obviously, doing the same thing all day every day, can leave you drained. Build in small steps that can help you stretch in ways you’re not accustomed to. Start your day by writing a few sentences in a journal about gratitude. Rather than saving up for one big vacation a year, take several long weekends throughout the year. Allow your brain to open up to discovery and experience on a regular basis. Make something – anything – with your hands. Before long, you’ll achieve the overall cognitive fitness you need to maintain a healthy and happy life.

The Power is Yours

Whether it’s how you plan your day, construct your life or how you react to events around you, never forget that you are in control. And the key to keeping that control is planning ahead and always having a strategy for maintaining a healthy balance.

About the Author

As an experienced speaker, Dr. Heidi Hanna has been featured at many national and global conferences, including the Fortune Magazine Most Powerful Women in Business Summit, ESPN Women’s Leadership Summit and the Million Dollar Round Table. She is founder and Chief Energy Officer of Synergy, a consulting company providing brain-based health and performance programs for organizations, and the Executive Director of the American Institute of Stress.

Dr. Hanna’s publications include The New York Times bestseller The SHARP Solution: A Brain-Based Approach for Optimal Performance (Wiley, Feb 2013), Stressaholic: 5 Steps to Transform Your Relationship with Stress (Wiley, Jan 2014) and Recharge: 5 Shifts to Energize Your Life (Synergy, 2015). Dr. Hanna is a National Board Member for the Association for Applied and Therapeutic Humor, a Fellow with the American Institute of Stress, and she currently serves as editor of their quarterly publication, Contentment. Recently, Dr. Hanna created The Beyond Funny Project, a non-profit dedicated to providing resources and education related to the benefits of healthy humor.

Dr. Hanna holds a bachelor’s degree in communications from Penn State University and holds a master’s degree in mental health counseling and a Ph.D. in holistic nutrition.

Janus Henderson LabsTM programs are for information purposes only. There is no guarantee that the information supplied is accurate, complete or timely, nor is there any warranty with regards to the results obtained from its use.

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Fixed income securities are subject to interest rate, inflation, credit and default risk. The bond market is volatile. As interest rates rise, bond prices usually fall, and vice versa. The return of principal is not guaranteed, and prices may decline if an issuer fails to make timely payments or its credit strength weakens.

Janus Henderson is a trademark of Janus Henderson Investors. © Janus Henderson Investors. The name Janus Henderson Investors includes HGI Group Limited, Henderson Global Investors (Brand Management) Sarl and Janus International Holding LLC.

Please consider the charges, risks, expenses and investment objectives carefully before investing. Please see a prospectus or, if available, a summary prospectus containing this and other information. Read it carefully before you invest or send money.

The opinions and views expressed are as of the date published and are subject to change without notice. They are for information purposes only and should not be used or construed as an offer to sell, a solicitation of an offer to buy, or a recommendation to buy, sell or hold any security, investment strategy or market sector. No forecasts can be guaranteed. Opinions and examples are meant as an illustration of broader themes and are not an indication of trading intent. It is not intended to indicate or imply that any illustration/example mentioned is now or was ever held in any portfolio. Janus Henderson Group plc through its subsidiaries may manage investment products with a financial interest in securities mentioned herein and any comments should not be construed as a reflection on the past or future profitability. There is no guarantee that the information supplied is accurate, complete, or timely, nor are there any warranties with regards to the results obtained from its use. Past performance is no guarantee of future results. Investing involves risk, including the possible loss of principal and fluctuation of value.

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http://seekingalpha.com/article/4202638-beware-energy-vampires

How to Spot Energy Vampires and Deal With Them Effectively – Awareness Act

Energy vampires are people who literally drain others of their energy. Sadly, many of us invite these types of people into our lives before we realize how damaging they truly are.

Most energy vampires are people with good intentions that are just unhappy in their own lives. They manage to damage others without even realizing it. Energy vampires are overwhelmingly negative and if you let them, they will literally suck you dry.

Below I am going to go over several things that will help you identify energy vampires in your life. Once you have sorted them out and spotted them you can work to remove them or limit their presence in your life. If being around someone is bringing you down, you don’t have any kind of obligation to keep them in your life.

Step 1: Ask Yourself

Ask yourself whether or not this person makes you feel better or worse in general. Does being around this person leave you feeling exhausted? Is this person putting you in a bad mood? If the answer to these questions is yes then you’re probably dealing with an energy vampire.

Step 2: Consider Your Happiness

When you are around this person do you literally dread dealing with them? If someone is making you unhappy when you are around them then you need to limit their presence in your life. You don’t have to put your own wellbeing at risk for the sake of others.

Step 3: Set Proper Boundaries

Set boundaries with those energy vampires that you cannot cut out completely. Don’t overdo it when you have to be around them and perhaps keep them out of your home. Boundaries are good for everyone, they allow you to work with someone without having to put yourself at risk.

Step 4: Don’t Be Afraid to Say No

Don’t hesitate to say no when you need to. Saying yes all the time will only leave you more drained than you were, to begin with. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, never forget that.

Energy vampires can be found in some of the most unexpected places and turn out to be some of the most unexpected people. Take care of yourself no matter what.

Image via Awakening People

3 Simple Rules To Protecting Yourself From Energy Vampires : Body, Mind, Soul & Spirit – UPDATED DAILY!

3 Simple Rules To Protecting Yourself From Energy Vampires

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The human body generates an electromagnetic field. When that field is easily disrupted, it can manifest in many ways including being ‘sensitive’ to people and environments. You might recognize the feelings of being a sensitive soul. Being around a certain someone puts you in a bad mood. Having to go into a crowded party overwhelms you. When someone isn’t happy with you, you feel as if you’re being physically attacked.

Being energetically sensitive means that you’re picking up on and absorbing negative energy from those around you. You’re not just moody! Great news, right?

Having a strong and balanced energy system is the best way I’ve learned to stay protected from energy vampires. Do this daily and you’ll have a little routine that will help strengthen your system so you can be anywhere, at any time, and feel calm and confident.

Rule #1: Balance

Make sure your energy system is strong and balanced. There are many ways to do this but one of my favorites is the “thymus thump.” Thumping a gland in the center of your chest, called the thymus gland, gives you an immune system boost and is also effective for calming fear and balancing your entire system quickly. Simply use your fist and “thump” like Tarzan for about 30 seconds and some big deep breaths.

Rule #2: Ground

Ground your energy. The more grounded, or connected to the earth’s energies you are, the less shaken you’ll be by your environment. A great way to “ground” is by literally pulling your energy down through your feet.

Place your hands at the sides of your waist. With your thumb in the front and fingers toward the back, slide your hands slowly and firmly down your legs. When you get to your feet, squeeze at the sides of your feet. Doing this on grass, dirt, or sand makes it even more powerful.

Rule #3: Protect

By tracing your central meridian, an energy pathway running up the front of your body, also highly attuned to thoughts and emotions, you are able to strengthen it.

Place your hands at the bottom end of the central meridian, which is at your pubic bone. Inhale deeply as you simultaneously pull your hands straight up the center of your body, to your lower lip. Repeat three times. With the electromagnetic force of your hands, you are literally moving the energy in the meridian in the direction of its strength and in turn, the meridian is strengthening you. While doing this exercise, you can also add an affirmation such as “I am safe and protected”.

Breathe! Breathing allows energy movement in your body. If you hold your breath in crowds or around difficult people, you are actually preventing any negative energy from movinʼ right through you.

Cross your arms/legs when feeling energetically vulnerable. This actually protects your aura and creates an energetic shield. Negative energy being directed at you will tend to bounce off of you and return to the sender.

Pick your location wisely. Stand by a window or door in crowds and avoid sitting at the front of a class or room where people direct their energy toward you.

Black tourmaline, a crystal that can be purchased for just a couple of dollars, is an excellent negative energy absorber. Put it in your pocket, purse, or just keep it close by when feeling vulnerable.

Now you have lots of minute-or-less tools to keep you balanced, grounded, and protected. Just don’t forget, they only work if you use them.

Ahhh, doesn’t that feel better already?

What tools do you use to protect yourself from energy vampires? You can share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below.

This article was written by Amy B. Scher. Amy is an expert in mind-body-spirit healing and is often lovingly referred to as an “accidental guru.” She is the bestselling author of This Is How I Save My Life (January 2013) and has been featured in publications such as CNN, Curve magazine, Divine Caroline, and was named one of Advocate’s “40 Under 40″ for 2013. Most importantly, she lives by the self-created motto: “When life kicks your ass, kick back.”

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Category: Lifestyle, SPIRITUAL

6 Types Of Energy Vampires You Must Avoid At All Costs

Energy vampires are people who feed on your emotional energy. They constantly seek out people who will help reduce their inner suffering and insecurities. They prey on other’s vitality and see you as the solution to their  problems.

An energy vampire could be anyone, ranging from a friend to a family member.

It is important to distinguish between the different types of energy vampires that emotionally exhaust you in order to take the next step further. And please, don’t take my advice for granted.

1. The one who plays a Victim/Martyr

Victim or Martyr Vampire is someone who preys on your guilt to feed their insecurities. They constantly blame others for their misfortunes and try to emotionally blackmail you to sympathize with them. This is the result of low self-esteem. They constantly seek validation and tokens of love from others.

Advice: Limit contact with such people and be aware when their self-pity rants begin.

2. The one who is a Narcissist

This type of energy vampire thinks too highly of himself. They have no genuine interest in other people’s affairs or any desire to show empathy and love towards people. They only think about themselves and will make you think about them. They need someone to feed their egos and constantly make them feel powerful.

Advice: Try to avoid such people because they can emotionally crush you by making you feel less worthy.

Read After: You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life

3. The one who Dominates

The dominant vampires are those who go around bossing people all the time by belittling them in front of others. They love to feel superior over others and would do anything to maintain the status quo. They do not wish to be perceived as “weak” or “wrong” which reflects on their inner insecurities. Such people often have rigid belief systems and could be racist, sexist or bigoted.

Advice: Try not to get intimidated by these vampires. Put your foot down and assert your opinions. Their need to gain an upper hand arises from their fear of being dominated.

 

4. The one who is a Drama Queen

The melodramatic vampire tries to be the center of attention all the time. They thrive by creating problems and constant drama that reveals how empty their lives really are. They like being seen as a victim so that they could get special attention and care from people around them.

Advice: Try not to take sides when they create some mischief or drama. Avoid getting involved so that you can save your emotional energy.

5. The one who Judges

The judgmental vampire picks on everything and everyone. He/she likes to prey on your insecurities. Their low self-worth is the reason why they pick on others. They make you feel ashamed and pathetic about your choices.

Advice: Do not take such people at face value. They will try to demean you… but always remember that true self-worth comes from within. Once you start being confident about your decisions they cannot affect you as much they would like to. If you get defensive, it’ll only feed their egos.

6. The one who is Innocent

Energy vampires can also be innocent like the ones who genuinely need help to survive. You can encourage them to be self-sufficient so they don’t rely too much on you, thereby depleting your emotional energy.

Advice: Take care of such people but also remember to maintain distance. You need to love yourself and cannot devote your energy to them all the time. Encourage them to develop strength so they can rely on themselves.

Start a Better Life Right Now by Reading:

Image source: Crycks/Flickr

19 Signs An ‘Energy Vampire’ Is Currently Sabotaging Your Life

girl in the dark shadows with sun beaming on her face and glasses, thinking, hesitant, in the moment, reflecting
@dojobeats

1. You feel inexplicably exhausted, achy or unmotivated in the hours and days after having contact with them.

2. You feel instinctively avoidant toward answering their calls or making plans, even if you end up doing it eventually.

3. Their negativity carries into the rest of your life, and you find yourself venting to other friends about how frustrating their actions are.

4. They always seem to have a problem that they need you to help solve.

5. They insult you in such a subtle way that you don’t know what’s going on until you’re an hour into the conversation and wondering why you feel so offended.

6. They have warped and illogical views of themselves and the world that they are absolutely convinced are true – to the point that it actually makes you question your own sanity.

7. They are “sure, but” people. They advocate for negativity. You often can’t share good news or a different idea without them immediately jumping to invalidate it in some way.

8. You witness them almost having multiple personalities: acting as though they are best friends with one person, and then speaking of them like they are worst enemies when they aren’t around.

9. You are never quite sure where you stand. Their disapproval is irrational and unpredictable, and they keep you constantly on your toes.

10. You often get nervous before you go to hang out with them. For some reason, you worry about what you look like, how they will perceive you, what you will make conversation about, and so on.

11. You feel like you always have to prove yourself to them.

12. They position themselves in a place of superiority. You and everyone else are made to think that they are the best at whatever they are involved in.

13. You feel more compelled to convince them that you are “cool” and “good enough” than you want to connect with them genuinely and share the details of your life.

14. They are melodramatic about absolutely everything, to the point that you start to assume they are dramatizing for the sake of getting an emotional reaction out of you.

15. They like gossip and petty drama, and always seem to want to talk about other people when you’re together.

16. They make you more uncertain about your life and your future than they inspire and motivate you to go after your dreams.

17. They have oddly strong and negative opinions about everyone, even people they just met or only know vaguely.

18. They only support you when you’re down and out – when you’re thriving and succeeding, they seem to be nowhere around.

19. They are completely in denial that the problem is them. If you dare try to bring up the fact that you’re upset with their actions, they will deflect, deny and gaslight you into believing the problem has been you all along.

3 Steps to Protect Yourself From Energy Vampires

by Karen Ulvestad; OM Times

Do you know people who are always draining your energy? Learn how to stop energy vampires in their tracks!

Stop Energy Vampires With These Three Steps

Feeling drained around certain people? Life is filled with the ebb and flow of energy, though sometimes we find people who “take” energy from other people. These energy vampires exist in all walks of life. Learn how to identify these situations, how to protect one’s self and the next steps.

Whether at work or living life, it is challenging to avoid “energy” vampires. They are present in all aspects of life and live off of pulling energy from other people. Some of the symptoms include feeling drained or exhausted after talking or being around someone, negative feeling towards a person, and possibly an uneasiness or “creepy” feeling when touched.

It is important to listen to these inner cues and break the energy drain. There are a few techniques that can disconnect the energy drain or avoid it.

1. Identifying the Situation

This entails honoring the inner voice or gut feeling about another person. We intuitively know when others are not as they appear. The energy vampire doesn’t have any distinguishing markings. They have specific behaviors. These are people that feel the need to “live” through others, are unhappy with themselves, or pray upon others.

They come in a multitude of faces. It could be a parent, friend, spouse, or stranger. Most of the time, it is an unconscious action on the other person’s part to “survive.” There are those who are calculating, and intentionally pull the energy from others.

2. Protecting One’s Self

The first step is to recognize the situation. Then, the innate desire to change the situation. The change starts from within one’s self. Often times, it’s simple like telling someone not to touch. It is okay to take care of one’s self and limit touching by other people. We need to listen to our own comfort zones.

Also, it helps to wear a protection stone. Stones can help dissipate the energies of the other person. These stones can enhance our own energies, and protect them from outside influence.

Self-healing rituals help alleviate the effects of the encounter by changing the focus from without to within. Some possible rituals are meditation, Reiki, crystals, or exercise. Often, we can change to focus on our thoughts, and this act changes the direction of our energy flow.

If none of the above works, it is good to seek the assistance of an energy healer.

The last piece of this is to learn from the interaction, apply the lesson, and change one’s self. The biggest step is to emotionally disconnect from the situation. This disconnection allows for the individual to disconnect from the energy vampire quicker, easier, and possibly permanently.

Life is the ebb and flow of energy through our present situation. The flow runs smoother when we emotionally disconnect ourselves from guilt and fear. These are common emotions that are felt in the situation with an energy vampire. They feed upon this, and we find it hard to disconnect due to these emotions.

Karen Ulvestad is a Reiki Master/Teacher, intuitive, writer and Aroma Therapy student. She has been on this path for most of her life. Through the process of learning, she has come to the conclusion that all things are related. She strives to come from a place of balance, peace, and calmness.

Her book “Whisperings of the Spirit” is available at www.Blurb.com

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https://www.riseearth.com/2018/07/3-steps-to-protect-yourself-from-energy.html

Stop Energy Vampires From Sucking Your Energy In 10 Elegant Ways

High energy keeps us positive, happy, and healthy. When we vibrate on the lower levels of the energy spectrum, we align with depression, apathy, and other illnesses mentally or physically.

Keeping our energy high is a necessity in living a dynamic, happy and prosperous life. But then there are people, situations, places, or things that can suck the energy out of us.

Everyday, we’re exposed to these energy vampires that drain our energy until we ourselves start vibrating low, and we end up stressed, overwhelmed, irritable, or anxious.

These energy vampires appear in many shapes and forms, for example as negative news on the TV and the internet, crowded places, and even neurotic pets. But the worst energy vampires are certain types of negative people whom we interact with every single day.

They are the narcissists, the egoists, the gossipers, the aggressors, the melodramatic, and others who simply drain you of your energy. You should stand up for yourself and prevent these weak people from draining your energy. But all of this can be done elegantly.

10 Elegant Ways To Prevent Energy Vampires From Sucking Your Energy:stop-energy-vampires-from-sucking-your-energy

1. Avoid having a longer eye contact.

The longer you establish an eye contact with energy vampires, the more they suck the energy out of you.

Look at them in the eye only ocassionally to prevent prolonged engagement.

2. Reduce the time spent with them.

Your time is precious and should be spent on something productive.

Spending time with an energy vampire not only wastes your time but doesn’t serve you as well. If you can’t avoid being with them, set a time limit then excuse yourself.

3. Refrain from showing any reactions.

Energy vampires feed on how they expect you to react. If you react on something negative that they say, it will encourage them to draw out more reactions from you. It’s what they want in the first place.

They’re not talking to you because you’re somebody important. But they’re talking to you because they want to feel they’re important. They get this validation whenever you react.

4. Try not to argue or oppose.

Energy vampires love argument. Winning in an argument feed their egos.

No matter how absurd their ideas or how wrong their opinions are, try to maintain a neutral side.

Opposing them wouldn’t help because they’re not there to listen to what you have to say in the first place.

5. Make sure other people are present.

When you’re alone in the company of an energy vampire, their negative energy is directed only to you. But when other people are present, you would spend lesser energy with them.

So, when you need to approach them for an important matter, make sure you’re with two or three other people who are not energy vampires themselves.

6. Allow them to talk.

Most often, energy vampires only want someone to listen to their woes or complaints.

Allow them to do the talking while you ask questions that encourage them to talk further. This way, you’re preserving your energy.

7. Suggest simple and light topics.

You already know what kind of topics the energy vampires are putting on the table. Try not to add more fuel on the negativity they are pouring out.

Instead, try to redirect the discussion to lighter and simpler topics without offending them.

8. Try visualization techniques.

If you’re keen on protecting yourself from possible negative energies, try visualization. It helps others and it might help you too.

Not only will it shield you from psychic fatigue but will calm your mind as well.

Visualize yourself surrounded by a protective light before meeting the energy vampires.

9. Stay away from them.

On the days that you feel you’re not at your best, try to stay away from energy vampires as much as possible to prevent yourself from being influenced or sucked by them too easily.

But on normal days, welcome their presence because they can teach you valuable life lessons in the process.

10. Cut your ties.

Whenever these energy vampires are too overwhelming to bear, cut off your ties with them. Protecting yourself should be your top priority, especially when their presence is alarmingly harmful.

You have the right to your own happiness and you can’t compromise it just to feed other people’s egos.

 

 

Stop Energy Vampires From Sucking Your Energy In 10 Elegant Ways

 

What is an Energy Vampire? How to Identify and Avoid Them

Think about that one person who completely sucks the life out of you. It may sound weird, but just think about it. You’re having a great day, but after spending just five minutes with them, your mood drops and you feel exhausted. If that’s ever happened to you, don’t worry. You’re not crazy and you’re definitely not alone — especially if you’re a highly sensitive person. As Dr. Christiane Northrup tells HelloGiggles, there is a name for those energy-sucking people in your life: energy vampires.

What exactly is an energy vampire?

Energy vampires are a type of person who drain you of energy. After spending time with them, the interaction always leaves you feeling depleted and tired.

Unlike actual vampires, energy vampires aren’t always easy to spot. According to Dr. Northrup, energy vampires come in all shapes and sizes. They can also fall on a scale from sociopath to borderline personality disorder, or can exhibit related symptoms.

How you can recognize an energy vampire?

1They can’t take criticism. 

Dr. Northrup reveals that looking good is one of the “most cherished values” of an energy vampire. So if you ever suggest that something about them may need a little improvement, they tend to respond with stonewalling or rage.

2They lack accountability.

Energy vamps refuse to take responsibility for their behavior. “They don’t seem to have a moral compass or a conscience,” Dr. Northrup states. “It’s always someone else doing it to them.” In other words, you’ll know someone is an energy vampire if they’re always playing the victim.

3They’re manipulative.

Energy vampires are not above using manipulative tactics to have it their way, according to Dr. Northrup. “All use manipulation to get their needs met for their narcissistic supply, which comes in the form of attention, money, sex, and status.”

4They’re all about the drama.

It’s no surprise that energy vampires tend to attract drama. The thing is, they will call you often to talk about it, they’ll ask for your opinion or advice — but once you give it, they won’t take it.

Nothing ever changes with them, and it will have a way of affecting you.

5No matter what you do, they always leave you feeling frustrated.

Energy vampires are some of the most frustrating people you’ll ever come across. They have a tendency to skirt around simple questions, they’ll do their best to portray themselves in the best light possible, and it seems like no amount of support or love can help them. Although you may love and respect these people in your life, they’ll drain your energy by pushing their issues on you.

No one should have to deal with the burden of carrying other people’s problems, which brings us to this good news: there are ways you can deal with energy vampires.

Ward off these “soul suckers” with a good offense.

“As the cliché goes, ‘the best defense is a good offense,’” Dr. Northrup says. “Putting yourself and your needs first is the equivalent of going on the offensive.” If you’ve tried your best to get the energy vampire in your life to be more mindful of others and it hasn’t worked, you may need to back away. Start with baby steps. Maybe you need to delete them from social media so they won’t trigger something in you when they’re not even around.

You can even just start by saying “no” to things you really don’t want to do, Dr. Northrup says. Over time, you’ll get good at it and become adept at setting healthy boundaries.

Although there’s nothing wrong with making yourself available to others, you need to take care of yourself first. At the end of the day, having healthy boundaries makes a huge difference. So don’t be afraid to enforce them.

Source

https://hellogiggles.com/lifestyle/energy-vampire/

6 Ways to Set Boundaries with Energy Vampires

Even if you haven’t heard the term “energy vampire” before, you’ve surely experienced the phenomenon. You know that exhausted, worn out feeling you get after being with someone who just emotionally drains you? Yep, that’s an energy vampire in action, sucking out all your good vibes, leaving you frustrated and tired.

The bad news is that keeping garlic around isn’t going to be enough to ward off this type of vampire. Instead, you will have to be proactive in protecting yourself, which begins with identifying the perpetrator. Energy vampires and their soul-sucking behaviors come in many different forms. Some examples are those who love to gossip and start drama, who are extremely self-deprecating, or those who simply never have anything positive to say.

Energy vampires aren’t necessarily bad people, and we’ve probably all been in their shoes at one point. Some people simply don’t know how to cope with their own problems, and a lot of the time, they might not have a clue that their behavior is impacting you negatively. This is why it’s crucial to set boundaries with energy vampires, so their negative impact on you is minimal.

6 Tips for Setting Boundaries with Energy Vampires

1. Listen to your body

After spending time with an energy vampire, your body may give you clues, like feeling fatigued. Talkspace therapist Cynthia Catchings, LCSW-S, shares, “My top tip for setting boundaries with energy vampires is to educate ourselves to recognize the signs; our body is usually trying to tell us something and we have to learn to listen.”

This way, the next time you come in contact with someone with energy-sucking tendencies, you’ll know what’s going on and you’ll be prepared to take the next steps.

2. Remember that you are in control

While it may not feel like it, you are, in fact, the one in control in these situations. The power to feel better is in your hands.

“Keeping these vampires in your life will be more detrimental to your physical and mental health,” Catchings says, “You have the power to let them go and live a happy life.”

It’s up to you whether or not you want to continue a relationship with an energy vampire. You aren’t doomed to having your energy drained forever if you’re willing to make a change.

3. Be straightforward and non-confrontational

Being straightforward is the best way to speak to an energy vampire, according to Talkspace therapist Rachel O’Neil, Ph.D.

“Work on being straightforward. Explain how their behavior has impacted your well-being,” O’Neill says, “At the same time, reinforce that you value your relationship with them and are committed to maintaining a relationship. These conversations tend to work best when you’re not at a high emotional level and can express your feelings in a non-confrontational way.”

You can write out some talking points, or practice with someone you trust beforehand, so you’ll feel more prepared and less emotional.

4. Take a break

“Breaks” aren’t just for romantic relationships. You might need to take a step away from someone to assess your relationship and to notice how different you feel when you’ve distanced yourself.

“Sometimes, a simple break from the person can help you to feel better equipped to deal with them,” O’Neil advises, “If that still doesn’t work and they don’t seem committed to changing their behavior, then you may have to make some long term adjustments.”

5. Know when to cut someone out completely

For better or worse, we can’t change people. However, we can change the way we interact with them. You have to weigh the pros and cons of the relationship, and be ready to walk away if necessary. If your situation isn’t improving even after some straightforward communication, you might need to take some more drastic steps.

“If you’ve tried to talk with them about their behavior and they aren’t receptive to feedback or lapse back into their old ways, then perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate your relationship with them,” O’Neil states.

6. Don’t feel guilty for setting boundaries

Don’t confuse setting boundaries for being cruel. Setting boundaries doesn’t make you a mean person! Remember, you ultimately need to do what is best for you and your mental health, and that’s nothing to feel guilty about.

“Sometimes, people can feel guilty or upset about having to set boundaries. It’s okay to feel this way but it’s important to still be firm in the boundaries you set,” O’Neil urges.

Remember, You’re In Control

In the end, you control how much energy that energy vampires suck out of you. You need positive energy and strength to be your best self and get through life — so don’t give others the power to take it away from you.

Learning to say no and set boundaries will ultimately make you a much stronger person, and there’s no better time to start than now.


How to Banish Energy Vampires & Reclaim Your Life

How to Banish Energy Vampires & Reclaim Your Life

by Loren

I’m always on a mission to rid my world of energy vampires! We only have 24 hours in a day, and we need to think carefully about how we use our time, and how we allocate our precious energy. If you think back to books, TV shows, and movies about vampires – they have to be invited into your home before they’re able to come inside. So, before you let any more energy vampires into your life, check out my top three tips on how to banish these energy thieves.

How to Banish Energy Vampires & Reclaim Your Life
1. Set Boundaries and Learn to Say “No.”

Don’t work past 7:00 pm if you can help it. Don’t get distracted at work with side conversations. Say no to people who try to pawn off their work on you, just because you’re known for being efficient and excellent at your job. This doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be a team player, but you should evaluate what their role is, what your position is, and push back when you have to. Get your boss involved if someone keeps overstepping their bounds. Stay focused on what you are doing, so that you allow yourself much needed time to decompress when you get home.

2. Stop Feeling Obligated.

If going on that date or to that party is going to give you anxiety, then don’t go! Don’t feel obligated to do something because you don’t want to hurt someone else’s feelings. You are allowed to be selfish with your time. It is YOUR life. Don’t let people make you feel guilty for doing what you want to do – and enjoy the extra time you now have; guilt-free!

3. Don’t Engage with Overly Dramatic or Attention-Seeking People (Aka Energy Vampires).

Cut these people out of your life completely! If that’s not an option, limit the time you spend with them. Energy vampires thrive on attention; the more you feed them, the more they will need to stay close to you. Shut down the food source and preserve your sanity. Be less available to energy vampires, and I promise they will stop invading your life and stealing your time. You may need to stop being as active via text messages, email, and social media, but it’s worth it to have a more enjoyable and peaceful life, I promise!

What’s the craziest thing someone has ever done to get your attention? Tweet me @lorenridinger.

What are Energy Vampires & How to stop attracting Them.

I used to need ample time to recuperate after being social.

I would often feel more depleted after being around people than I was beforehand. Yet, I knew myself to be quite the extrovert—so this puzzled me.

“Aren’t I supposed to get energy from being around people, not lose it?”

What I didn’t realize at the time was that, because I have been equipped with so many internal resources (like the ability to choose gratitude in every situation or the ability to choose how I act regardless of circumstances), my inner abundance was attracting what are known as “energy vampires.”

Energy vampires are people who take from you without consent or reciprocation. They leave you feeling drained. They suck your psychic, mental, or spiritual energy.

I have since come to understand that it wasn’t just my abundance that was attracting energy vampires—but also my feeling guilty for having this abundance and, in turn, feeling obligated to share it with those around me.

Because of this, I had weak energetic boundaries and was allowing others to “leech” all of my excess reserves so that I didn’t have to feel guilty about having so much of it.

Much of the advice that I have heard pertaining to energy vampires is of the nature of “cut those people out!”

And while this may be a helpful and sometimes necessary step, I’ve realized doing that alone is insufficient.

We also need to take a good look at why we are attracting these people into our lives.

There are ample people with inward abundance out there who are not attracting energy vampires. Why? Because they have no need for them.

So, we must ask ourselves, what need are energy vampires filling for our egos?

Are they making us feel validated because we are needed? Are they conveniently distracting us from our true purpose and allowing us to avoid responsibility for owning our power?

The truth is, we are not doing anyone a service by allowing them to leech our energy. We are reinforcing their beliefs that they are too weak to provide for themselves and we are not giving them feedback that could actually make a difference in their lives.

A true friend encourages and supports others to meet their own needs and they set boundaries so that they don’t end up resentful.

And if the energy vampire in our life is not important enough that we would be willing to have that conversation, then we need to be real with ourselves about that too.

We need to be honest with ourselves about why we are keeping people in our lives who we resent.

So, we need to get off of our high horses, get clear about what hidden payoff our egos are getting from being a source of nourishment for energy vampires, and we need to take action accordingly.

In this video, I will coach you on:

  1. How to identify why you attract energy vampires into your life—what might your ego be getting out of it?
  2. How to stop attracting them.
  3. How to seal off your energetic boundaries.
  4. How to avoid being an energy vampire yourself.

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Beware of the Sexual Energy Vampires or Energy is Information or Narrative, Story is the meaning you make of that information

I’ve had many clients tell me the story of how their relationship was going wrong. What they couldn’t see was how easy it is to mistake the energy of lust for love. I’d like to introduce you to a shamanic way of thinking about relationships a way of making sense about what is going wrong or what could go wrong and how you can make sure the relationship you’re in doesn’t break or how you can get into a relationship and make it work out the way you want when you learn to see in a different way.

Your feelings may be so strong that you’re convinced it can’t be anything else other than love. But half of the people who are so sure that they love each other that they get married end up getting divorced. Part of why this happens is the complaint is: “You’ve changed!!” Or: “You’re not the person I fell in love with!!”

The reality of life is that change naturally happens and relationships can’t survive if they are built one dimensionally where there are limited connections between people.

From a shamanic perspective, there are cords of energy naturally connecting people. The more cords the stronger the connection. You build these cords by the different things you like about a person. So the more cords the stronger and durable the connection.

A cord of sexual attraction is very strong and powerful but it is just one cord. And if there aren’t that many other cords holding you together those connections can grow weaker or even snap.

This sexual cord of attraction is so powerful that it gets mistaken for love. And marriages and relationships get destroyed because you can generate a cord of attraction to someone else.

But it is just one cord.

Love is the multidimensional connection of many cords.

The more cords the more love is present. So you can desire someone sexually and you can also want to do other things, non-sexual things with them. The more of these connections there are the more love there is because you feel a pull towards this person. This is the pull from the cords that are connecting you.

This will start to make intuitive sense to you the more you think about when you have experienced this. The pull was there and it didn’t make conscious sense to you why it was just there.

You can cultivate your cords, nurture them, and you nurture the relationship because life-giving energy flows both ways. So you need to be careful of negative thinking which generates negative energy and you can make other people feel bad just by feeling bad yourself. But you also make other people feel good by feeling good yourself. This is why people you’re close to can tell when you’re lying or when you don’t want to talk about something that’s happened to you. Or when you’re pretending to be happy but aren’t.

If you can’t feel this from your partner you’re already in the process of disconnecting, the relationship is breaking. If you built a shallow relationship the connections aren’t there to hold you together.

In traditional first-world cultures, the sense of tribe or community was very strong. There were many cords connecting all the people. Because it was normal to be healthy, people had a healthy connection to their environment and didn’t disrespect it. Because they had a healthy connection with themselves they didn’t disrespect themselves and drink too much or eat too much of the wrong things. And because they felt healthy it was natural to know what a healthy relationship felt like.

Body-based feelings are the foundation for how we think but we forget that they are constantly influencing how we think.

And how we influence our body through what we eat, drink, and physically do. Whether that is exercise we enjoy doing or exercise we don’t enjoy doing. Or even how much we sit down and whether we are sitting comfortably or in a draft that makes us feel too cold or is refreshing. There is this constant flow of information that is changing how we think. And we’re mostly unaware of that. We’re unconscious to ourselves. We’re numb to feeling our life energy.

But if you start by becoming aware of how you are influencing yourself and start influencing yourself to feel good and even to the extent of feeling love for yourself. By loving yourself you’re building the energetic capacity to love others.

It’s natural to feel good when other people show attraction towards you. But you can make yourself dependent on others for that energy if you aren’t generating it yourself. This can become pathological, it can become harmful to yourself because it’s a drug you grow to crave and end up addicted to.

This leads to the idea of seduction where you have to persuade or trick someone into believing that they like you. Remember that this is all about energy. And about where you get that energy from.

Are you naturally generating that energy yourself and so become attractive? Or are you trying to seduce and take that energy from someone else?

Generating the energy is healthy, taking it is parasitic like a vampire feeding on their prey.

Generating the energy comes from love. Taking the energy comes from fear, anger and hate.

Read more about the work of the Love Shaman.

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3 Ways To Get Rid Of An Energy Vampire

by Conscious Reminder

Has your progress in the previous year’s been suffocated due to energy vampires? Are you looking forward to getting rid of them and progressing your life with full energy and positivity?

If yes, then you must make sure to look things from a different perspective in this coming year and start to manage your things well. Management is important as it is your management (your handling of energy vampires) only that allows them to sap your energy. They thrive on your positivity and energy and leave you depleted, thus it is a one-sided affair which must be ended soon.

Sometimes you know that you need to cut your ties with the energy vampire but you are not able to do so because of the social pressures. You are afraid of the name calling. You handle not just your energy but also your consent and powers into the hands of those who use it against you.

Why? Why are you so afraid of the lashing back of the energy vampires? What values does it hold for you?

You must not be afraid of the temporary name calling, it will be over soon. The amount of energy and time that you’ll save just by staying away from the energy vampires will be enough for you to progress ahead in your life.

Here are the top 3 ways for dealing with energy vampires

1. Say NO

You must learn to say no when you really want to say no. When you commit yourself to a task that you do not want to engage in, then it not only depletes your time and energy, it also expands your association with the low energy things.

IF you want to live a happy and successful life, then you must learn to say NO without the need of giving any explanations.

Saying no will bring joy and purpose in your life as you’ll be able to focus on the things you want in the life. It is a strong tool to move away from your habit of people pleasing.

2. Find some Alone time.

You must never pass on any opportunity to be with yourself as it is the best chance for you to reflect on your own self and to know yourself better. Dalai Lama believes that spending some Alone time is extremely important for success as it allows you to influence yourself before the world influences you. Also, this puts in a situation of taking control of your own life, that is, being the CEO of your life.

3. Do not look at the past, look forward.

When you are in bad times, never look at the past for hating yourself for the mistakes you committed. Instead look at the future to explore the opportunities that are waiting for you at the horizon of time. Even when you think about the past, never hate yourself for it, instead try to learn form the mistakes and move ahead.

If you’ll apply these 3 ideas in your life, you’ll always be able to stay away from the energy vampires and can work towards achieving your goals with full energy and enthusiasm.

2018 Is a year of progress and personal empowerment. Stay blessed.


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Conquering Energy Vampires: 5 Ways To Protect Your Positive Energy

Conquering Energy Vampires: 5 Ways To Protect Your Positive Energy

Do you know an energy vampire? Also referred to as a psychic vampire, they attach themselves to host and try to suck the person dry of their energies. When the host finally realizes what is going on, the energy vampire tends to either ignore them or let them go. Then the cycle simply continues as the energy vampire attaches to another person.

This is why you see vibrant, happy people attract others with self-serving objectives. Energy vampires have to turn to energetic people in order to get the energy they need to survive. Chances are that you have encountered your own energy vampire more than once, but aren’t sure how to deal with them. The next time you stumble across an energy vampire, use the following tips to maintain a healthy frequency and protect yourself from the energy vampire.

1. Retain your positive energy, while also trying to uplift the energy vampire’s energy.

There are many psychic vampires who unknowingly steal other people’s energy without malice. In many cases, they simply need some support and guidance.

According to Dr. Judith Orloff, a psychiatrist, Assistant Professor of Psychology at UCLA, and author of “Emotional Freedom: Liberate Yourself From Negative Emotions and Transform Your Life, “Some are overbearing and obnoxious; others are friendly and charming. For example, you’re at a party talking to a perfectly nice person, but suddenly you are nauseous or weak. Or how about the coworker who drones on about how she broke up with her boyfriend for the tenth time? Eventually, she feels better, but you’re spent. The bottom line is that on a subtle energy level these people suck you dry.”

To deal with these energy vampires, frequently referred to “poor me” types, you should offer a few positive words about her relationship or simply change the subject. They usually need assistance in getting back on a path that uplifts their own energy. Everyone needs help at one time or another, so don’t reflexively dismiss anyone who gives off negative vibes. They may need someone to talk to after a long day. You just have to continue to reach within yourself and access your positivity, while not allowing the person’s negative energy to affect you.

2. When in the presence of an energy vampire, say positive affirmations.

There are times when you enter a room full of people and instantly feel covered by overwhelming negativity. You may feel absolutely suffocated, so to keep yourself balanced, silently repeat some your favorite positive mantras or quotes. You can also imagine that you are protected by a bubble of positive energy to keep from being brought down by others.

3. Distance yourself.

If the self-pitying, manipulative behavior continues without any sign that they have plans on taking responsibility for their own energy, you may need to let them go, even if they are a family member of close friend. If someone refuses to take control of their own life and work on becoming more positive and independent, you will never have a healthy relationship with them. Don’t allow yourself to feel guilty. You can’t carry their burdens forever.

Cutting ties will force them to find the strength they need to uplift themselves and others. In the end, you will be doing them a favor.

4. Meditate daily, for at least 10 to 15 minutes.

One of the most effective ways to protect yourself from emotional manipulation is by looking deep within and channeling source energy into your mind and body. This will ensure you have a higher tolerance for dealing with the energies you encounter and won’t be deterred by devious energy vampires.

As you tap the universal consciousness grid and your own spiritual powers, you well begin to realize the behavior of other people won’t impact you as much.

5. Give them a huge smile.

This will benefit you because a smile carries a high vibration. When you share it with others, they also feel the effects of your positive energy. Ripples create waves that will keep positive energy flowing.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you should allow others to walk all over you and use up your energy stores. Simply give off good vibes that others can benefit from and use to enrich their own lives.

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Health Risks of Energy Vampire Relationships

 

 

Health Risks of Energy Vampire Relationships

8 Warning Signs of an Unbalanced, Energy Vampire Relationship

by Christiane Northrup, M.D.

Health Risks of Energy Vampire Relationships

8 Warning Signs of an Unbalanced, Energy Vampire Relationship

Dodging Energy VampiresEmotional Well-beingFeatured BlogRelationshipsSelf-love

Have you ever seen a couple that just didn’t seem to make sense?  The man is stunningly attractive and the woman is puffy, overweight and tired-looking. Or vice versa. Maybe you have a friend who calls you every time she is going through a break-up but is nowhere to be found when you need her for moral support. Perhaps you have a sibling who always needs your help but never returns the gesture. These are typical examples of energy-vampire-relationships. And, they are bad for your health.

Energy-vampire-relationships are akin to a parasitic plant, such as mistletoe, overtaking an elm tree. The mistletoe grows into the vascular system of the elm tree, extracting water and nutrients for survival.  If the elm tree is healthy, it can withstand this relationship for a while, but eventually will become sick and can even die.  

The same is true for you. If you are in a relationship with an energy vampire, you may be able to withstand the energy drain for a while, but eventually, the relationship takes its toll. And, I’m not just talking about feeling a little emotional or drained. There can be serious health consequences when you are in an unbalanced relationship with an energy vampire.

H0w Energy Vampire Relationships Make You Sick

Aside from the obvious emotional toll being in an energy-vampire-relationship can take on you, there is a whole array of physical ailments that are often just as painful and dangerous as the psychological ones.  For example, psychologist Sandra L. Brown, M.A. reports that fully 75 percent of the women who come to her retreats suffer from autoimmune disorders. 

In my decades on the front lines of women’s health, I’ve seen people suffering from adrenal fatigue, chronic Lyme disease, irritable bowel syndrome, thyroid disorders, an inability to lose weight, diabetes, breast cancer, autoimmune disorders and so-called mystery illnesses. Most, if not all of the time, these illnesses do not respond well to medical treatments.  That’s because, the root cause is a relationship with an energy vampire – either at work or at home.  Until that is addressed, no medication, diet, or amount of and yoga will help. Why?

There are several ways the stress of being in an energy-vampire-relationship causes your health to deteriorate:

  1. Causes Inflammation. On a basic level, the stress of trying to “fix” someone and having to deal with constant disappointment, negativity, and deception leads to a cascade of stress hormones in your body. When you are constantly under stress, your adrenals produce cortisol, a stress hormone that, under normal circumstances, suppresses inflammation and gives you the ability to get out of danger. However, when cortisol levels remain high, your body actually produces inflammatory chemicals called cytokines. This causes you to feel symptoms such as headaches, joint pain and swelling, arthritis, fibromyalgia, digestive problems, weight gain, and eventually diabetes and heart disease. Remember chronic cellular inflammation is the root cause of almost all degenerative diseases.
  2. Wreaks havoc on your immune system. It is well documented that people who are under constant social stress experience dysregulation of their immune systems, leaving them vulnerable to infectious diseases and so-called autoimmune disorders. Now, it’s important to understand that while viruses can cause diseases – for example, the Epstein-Barr virus can cause autoimmune disease – this only happens when your immune system is off balance due to chronic stress and cortisol levels that are too high. Conversely, when your immune system is in balance, your body is able to keep viruses in check.
  3. Encourages poor dietary choices. When you have a headache, you may pop a couple of Advil. When you are constantly getting headaches due to a vampire draining you, you may not only decide to take medicines to cover up your symptoms, but you may also not feel up to cooking a healthy meal and find it easier to order a pizza. In addition, the excess cortisol you have circulating causes you to crave sweets, so you find yourself reaching for sugar or alcohol. This leads to weight gain and an inability to get a good night’s sleep.
  4. Leads to brain changes. Brain scans show that people who have lived with cognitive dissonance due to energy-vampire-relationships have brain changes similar to those with PTSD. (Cognitive dissonance is when your beliefs about the world and yourself clash, causing tension.)
  5. Triggers neuroendocrine hormone cascade. Researchers have found that PTSD and trauma are associated with a higher risk of developing lupus. One study presumes that stress-triggered neuroendocrine hormones lead to immune system dysregulation by altering or amplifying cytokine production resulting in autoimmune disease.

8 Warning Signs of An Unbalanced, Energy Vampire Relationship

Recognizing your vampire is the first step toward letting go of an unbalanced relationship.  Here are some of the ways you can tell if you are in a relationship with an energy vampire.

  1. Shows no interest in the things that interest you. Whether it’s your family, a hobby you enjoy, or a type of food you like to eat, a vampire would rather complain or ignore you when you bring up your interests. Some vampires will even make you feel bad about your interests.
  2. Stops communicating. After love-bombing you and showering you with attention, energy vampires will often act distant, especially if you disagree or argue with them. They become elusive. They stop calling and texting you. Or, they reply with hurtful remarks. When vampires re-engage, they will often do it just to “win you back,” then withdraw again seeming more interested in watching sports on TV or going out with their friends. A vampire will never admit to their part in an argument.  They may have bursts of rage.
  3. Gives ultimatums. Vampires will try to hold you back because your personal growth makes them feel threatened and insecure. They might create drama whenever you choose to do something that doesn’t include them. Some may forbid you to see a certain friend or participate in a certain activity. Many vampires will give ultimatums, making you choose between them and someone or something else.
  4. Blames you for their problems. Instead of talking with you about their problems, vampires refuse to take responsibility and will actually blame you for their personal problems.They may also avoid you or act in a disrespectful manner such as staying out all night drinking, not coming home or going off the grid completely.
  5. Withholds or demands sex. Vampires often use sex as a weapon, commonly demanding sex when their partner isn’t interested, or withholding sex and affection as punishment.
  6. Keeps Score.Energy vampires keep track of how many good things they have done for you and believe that their “good deeds” are greater than what they are receiving from you. In addition, vampires will keep track of your mistakes and use them against you.
  7. Threatens to leave you. Vampires threaten to leave when things don’t go their way. They may say things like “I can be with someone who likes my friends,” or “I will just stay with Joe until you admit you’re wrong.”
  8. Puts you down.Vampires often try to make you feel that you are less than worthy of them. They may call you hurtful names, purposefully miss scheduled events or appointments, or embarrass you in public.

5 Ways To Counteract the Negative Effects of An Energy Vampire Relationship

Dr. Mario Martinez points out that most illnesses involve a learned physiological response to specific stressors.  For example, someone with fibromyalgia is unable to sleep soundly. Lack of deep sleep results in widespread cellular inflammation (in part because deep sleep is necessary in order for your body to metabolize stress hormones) creating a vicious cycle of sleep deprivation, pain, and inflammation. Dr. Martinez suggests that learning to be a light sleeper is a highly adaptive strategy when you are living with a threat of some kind – such as sexual or physical abuse. Even when the threat is no longer there, your body’s stress response (and the impact on your psychoneuroimmunological system) remains, setting the stage for illness.

To overcome patterns that set the stage for chronic illness, try these strategies:

  1. Put your emotional needs first. As the cliché goes, “the best defense is a good offense.” Putting yourself and your needs first is the equivalent of going on the offensive. Treat yourself with the same care and love that you treat others. You may need to start with baby steps such as deleting someone from your social media. You can also practice saying “no” when someone asks you to do something that you don’t want to do. Practice saying, “I simply can’t.” Or, “That is not possible.” Over time, you’ll get good at it and become adept at setting healthy boundaries. Also, you need to pat yourself on the back – regularly! When you are in control of your own life and your relationships, energy vampires and other predators will feel your light and will run the other way!

Have you ever suffered from health issues that resolved once you changed your relationships? Please leave me your comments below.

 

 

 

Source

https://www.drnorthrup.com/health-risks-of-energy-vampire-relationships/

Low-Frequency Beings: Sexual Energy Vampires and How to spot them – Awareness Act

When we think of our energy we do not often think of each different kind of energy. We tend to see energy as a whole rather than broken down in the ways that it is.

 

Sexual energy is one of the most important energies but also one of the easiest to manipulate and absorb. You have to be careful when it comes to who you allow close. There are tons of people who are what we would consider to be quite parasitic in nature. They latch onto us and leech off of our energy. One of the most common energies for them to go after is our sexual energy.

One of the biggest indicators that your sexual energy is being drained from you is that you feel addicted this person or to sex in general. Energy vampires will stop at nothing to feed off of you because they feel as if they need you and your energy whether they realize that is what they are doing or not. They cling to you and since sexual energy is the easiest to obtain they engage with you. They may be someone you feel okay around but once things are said and done you feel as if the life force has been sucked out of you.

 

The definition of an energy vampire is basically someone who manipulates another and takes from them their life energies. We need the energies we have when someone takes them from us we are left as zombies. You see, to begin with-in life we have a lot of energy and as we grow we cultivate more but when our energies begin fading away our health declines and our wellbeing becomes non-existent. When someone is taking too much of you, you may think that you are doing something wrong but truthfully the only thing you are doing wrong is engaging with the wrong kinds of people.

Letting an energetic vampire too close might literally be the death of you and that is a scary thought. You need to be aware of how to spot them and while spotting one that is after your normal energies is simple, spotting the kind of energy vampires that target sexual energy, in particular, can be a bit tricky. I believe this is because when it comes to these kinds our hearts are far more involved than they should be.

4 Signs You Are Facing A Sexual Energy Vampire:

1. He or she moves far too fast.

This person comes in out of nowhere and doesn’t bother to get to know you. Everything goes so quickly you are in bed together before you know it. They trick you into thinking they are your soulmate.

2. He or she is stuck in a rut.

When it comes to talking about this person’s life they aren’t really doing much. It is literally as if this person is living his or her life in a rut and cannot get out.

3. You cannot spend time with him or her without having sex.

This person is far more oriented in relations than he or she should be. You plan to go to dinner and don’t want to do anything, you just want to get to know this person more and one thing leads to another. Even when you say no they seem to coax you into it every time.

4. When you try to cut things off he or she becomes angry.

No, I am not talking about cutting things off with them, in general, I just mean not being able to have sex with them or if an emergency comes up right in the middle of something. It is almost to the extent where if you get a phone call saying your Grandmother is on her deathbed and you had to leave in the middle of foreplay this person would still insist you finish and play the victim if you refuse.

(Image Via: /Pixabay)

 

What Is An Energy Vampire? A Psychic Reveals How To Protect Yourself From These Toxic People

It’s normal to have relationships in your life that challenge you. Whether it’s a co-worker, a friend, or even someone in your family, some people just take a little more energy to interact with than others. But there’s a difference between a relationship that has a little tug-and-pull to it, and one that legitimately drains your energy to the point where you dread ever seeing or talking to the person. That is what an energy vampire is, my friend: someone who really, really drains you of your life force, who leaves you feeling mentally and physically exhausted after talking to them.

“An energy vampire is really powerful,” Natalie Miles, a psychic spiritual guide and mentor, tells me over the phone. “[There are] people who will steal your energy or vibes to prop themselves up. Some energy vampires do this on a conscious level, and many do it on an unconscious one.”

Importantly, Miles points out that this doesn’t mean energy vampires are inherently bad people. The psychic tells Elite Daily that this type of behavior usually comes from low self-worth or low self-esteem — something we all struggle with from time to time. Still, Miles explains, this also doesn’t mean you should ever feel the need to keep an energy vampire around in your life if they are consistently taking from you more than they are giving.

Giphy

“[Energy vampires] seek energy from you because they don’t want to do the work themselves at finding out who they are,” Miles tells Elite Daily. In other words, some people have trouble figuring out who they are — heck, everyone has trouble figuring out ~who they are~, right? But the difference here is that an energy vampire, according to Miles, has such difficulty with their own identity that they habitually lean on others for validation or support, and never seem to put in their own work toward self-improvement. Inevitably, then, the work falls onto the people around them, and yeah, that sounds pretty freaking draining, doesn’t it?

What’s more, Miles tells Elite Daily that energy vampires tend to be people who want to feel like they have more power in their relationships with others. “They want to feel more financially abundant, or somehow want to feel ‘better’ or more successful,” the psychic explains. Interestingly, she adds, energy vampires tend to come across as people who really do have their sh*t together, whether it’s career-wise, romantically, whatever. But if you peel back a few layers, Miles says it often becomes clear that an energy vampire’s apparent emotional intelligence or supportive personality is more of a borrowed trait from the person whose energy they’re draining — whether that’s a close friend, a family member, or even a romantic partner — and not a true characteristic of their own.

“Maybe they are lying, dominating, pretending to be a victim, or using predatory behavior,” Miles says. “It can show up in a lot of different ways.”

Giphy

And as for how an energy vampire can affect you when you’re friends with one? “Well, it can feel like exhaustion, confusion, and not being able to articulate yourself,” Miles tells Elite Daily. “The person being drained of energy often becomes vulnerable and uncertain about themselves. It can also make you feel like you have a part of you missing or you aren’t yourself.”

One of the best ways to recognize that a loved one is having this effect on you, Miles says, is to spend some time alone, away from this person, and really check in with yourself. Oftentimes, the psychic explains, you’re better able to understand just how drained and exhausted you feel when you have the opportunity — even if it’s brief — to truly detach yourself from the person who is stealing all of your energy.

According to Miles, this might take the form of meditation. “Imagine yourself in a see-through bubble with holes in it,” she suggests. “You can imagine giving your amazing energy out, but it also protects you from the energy coming in.”

Ultimately, Miles explains, it’s about knowing that you have the right to respect your own energy first, and therefore the right to remove yourself from this toxic situation.

Giphy

Of course, stepping into your own power, and removing yourself from an energy vampire’s toxic grasp, can be incredibly hard. What it ultimately comes down to, says Dr. Nancy Irwin, Psy.D., a clinical psychologist and primary therapist at the California rehab center Seasons In Malibu, is learning how to establish healthy boundaries within these types of relationships.

“Schedule a time when you can help out someone who is needy or invasive,” Dr. Irwin tells Elite Daily over email. “Limit that time and let them know if and when you are feeling taken advantage of.”

Bottom line: Energy vampires are people; any one of us can fall into this pattern of behavior. But you have every right to speak up when you feel that someone is taking advantage of you. Don’t ever forget that.

Source

http://elitedaily.com/p/what-is-energy-vampire-a-psychic-reveals-how-to-protect-yourself-from-these-toxic-people-12072352

Energy Vampires: 10 Ways To Prevent Chronic Psychic Fatigue

Energy.  It’s the very strength and vitality we require to live a dynamic, driven and determined life.  We all have it and we all need it, yet many of us find ourselves lifeless and lethargic by the end (and sometimes at the beginning), of the day.

 Life is precious and unpredictably short-lived.  It’s no wonder then, that many of us drag ourselves through each day miserable and melancholic with the thought that we could be living much better lives.

Throughout the ages, high-energy has been associated with happy, vivacious people, and low-energy with depressed and apathetic people.  Unfortunately, psychosomatic medicine has shown a strong link between the mind and body, meaning that the less energy we possess, the more prone we’ll be to suffer from illnesses such as depression, anxiety and other mood disorders.

It’s true that the healthy and happy person is one filled with energy.  Without energy, how can we fulfill our dreams, pursue our goals and overcome our obstacles?  Without energy, how can we hope to truly achieve anything of meaning or significance in life?  It’s true that some people naturally possess more energy than others, but have you ever considered why?  Certainly, genetics play a role, but more importantly the environment around us does as well.

Everything is Energy

At a sub-atomic level, all that exists in life is composed of vibrating atoms, or pure energy.  Even incorporeal things such as our thoughts, emotions, instincts and sexual drives can be said to be composed of energy.  So essentially, we live in an ocean of motion, and like in the ocean – or any environment on earth for that matter – there are both predators and prey.

If you’re reading this article, chances are that you’re the prey.

Energy Vampires

In life, there are just some people who tend to drain us of energy very quickly.  If you’re a Highly Sensitive Person like me, or an Empath, you will be very aware of who sucks your energy and when.

However, not all of us are as sensitive or in-tune with our bodies, and this can be difficult and confusing to deal with.  While some people argue that Energy Vampires are people who can’t sustain their own life force in a positive manner, others speculate that Energy Vampires are well-meaning and normal, yet naturally overbearing people.  The point of this article, however, is not to delve into the psychology of the Energy Vampire, but to identify and explore ways to strengthen and energize our lives in light of them.

How to Identify the Energy Vampire

You will experience the following symptoms of being:

  • Overwhelmed
  • Stressed
  • Physically ill (e.g. headaches, body aches, etc.)
  • Mentally or physically exhausted
  • Irritable and/or anxious

You may notice that the Energy Vampire displays many of the following characteristics:

  • Big ego, e.g. loves to debate, argue and pick fights.
  • Aggressive or passive-aggressive tendencies.
  • Paranoia.
  • Resentment and anger issues.
  • Narcissism
  • Melodramatic behavior.
  • Whining and complaining.
  • Bitching and gossiping.
  • Insecurity, e.g. the constant need for reassurance and acceptance.
  • Manipulative behaviors, e.g. guilt tripping, emotional blackmail etc.
  • Jealousy.

Energy Vampires are, in most cases, takers rather than givers who gain free therapy sessions with their family, friends, lovers, colleagues and even children and strangers who are on the receiving end.

It’s also good to realize that Energy Vampires are not always necessarily human beings.  They can also be situations or even physical objects in your life.  Examples include:

  • The internet.
  • The TV.
  • Other electronic devices (e.g. the radio, mobile phone, etc.)
  • Public situations (e.g. crowds, parties, train stations, shopping centers etc.)
  • Animals (e.g. neurotic pets)

The hardest thing about suffering at the hands of an Energy Vampire is when they are part of your family or friends circle.  How can we regain our vitality in such energy-sucking relationships?

10 Ways to Cope

Sure you may be the prey, but there’s no use in playing the role of the victim.  To better your life you need to do something.  Here are some suggestions:

1.  Stop making prolonged eye-contact.

I’ve personally found that this is one of the biggest energy absorbers.  The more eye-contact you make, the more you engage with the other person and what they have to say.  Only occasional eye-contact is necessary in this instance.

2.  Set a time limit.

Your time is precious as well, and it’s not necessary for you to sit around for 1 or 2 hours having your energy zapped and brain numbed.  According to your energy level, set a limit of 5, 10, 15, 20 minutes where you can give your focus to the person, and no more.

3.  Learn not to react.

This is very important.  The Energy Vampire feeds off the reactions of others, fueling them to continue on interacting with you.  It’s important for you to learn how to be neutral in your interactions with others, meaning that the display of overly positive or negative emotions should be monitored carefully.

4.  Learn not to argue or contradict.

Yes it’s tempting, but in the long run you can’t change other people unless they change themselves first – the more you resist them, the more they will resist (and drain) you.

5.  Go with other people.

Approaching the Energy Vampire with 1, 2 or 3 other people will help decrease the level of effort expended, and attention received.  For this to work you need to ensure that the additional people aren’t psychic leeches either.

6.  Listen more than talk.

A lot of the time Energy Vampires simply want and need a listening ear.  The more you talk, the more energy you tend to lose (especially if you’re introverted).  Using words such as “why”, “when” and “how” will encourage the psychic sucker to do most of the talking, which in turn will help preserve your energy.

7.  Try sticking to light-hearted topics.

Your conversations don’t need to be depressive and oppressive.  Take control when necessary and change the topic of conversation to something more light and simple.

8.  Visualize.

Many people claim that visualizing protective light/energy shields around them helps to deflect psychic fatigue, and maintain a neutral and calm state of mind.  Try it some time.

9.  Avoid when possible.

This is not always possible, but is a simple and straight-forward technique to assist in your self-preservation.  I don’t recommend this as a consistent resolution, as the less you come in contact with the Vampire/s the less opportunity you’ll have to develop, and put into practice, a useful and necessary life skill.

10.  Cut off contact.

This is the last resort.  Sometimes for your own health and happiness, you need to make difficult decisions regarding who you choose to surround yourself with.  In the end, if you continue to suffer, the best option may be to simply cut ties and move on.

Have you had experiences with Energy Vampires?  Please share your thoughts, opinions and experiences below!

How Successful People Deal With Energy Vampires

You work hard, and there’s never enough time in the day to get everything done, it seems.  You do everything you can think of to prioritize, schedule time for important things and work efficiently.  Whatever is within your control, you’ve mastered it.

Often, you’d be able to get more done if it weren’t for that co-worker, too.  You may be in the unfortunate situation to be in regular contact with an “Energy Vampire”.   These are people who seem to get your attention at the most inopportune times. They draw you into a conversation that leaves you feeling exhausted. You’ve probably tried to graciously get away, but you feel trapped.  An energy vampire may interrupt you at every turn, be the purveyor of office gossip or take way too long to leave your desk because they have “one more thing” that is so important. You leave the interaction feeling depleted and off-kilter.

Here are practical steps you can take to minimize the distraction and keep your energy protected from this type of difficult co-worker.

Types of Energy Vampires at Work

First, you need to know is what you’re dealing with. Energy vampires come in many forms, but a few types are more common than others.

The Melodramatic

This person has a poor concept of personal boundaries. He or she really just isn’t aware of what’s appropriate to share at work and what isn’t and lacks an understanding about the context of your relationship. Whether it’s deeply personal information (“I think my boyfriend is cheating on me”), or about a mutual co-worker’s food choices, you really aren’t interested.  They take up unreasonable amounts of your time talking and seem to think you are closer friends than you assume (or want to be).  These individuals are highly attuned to rejection, so much so that they can’t seem to detach and move on when necessary. Whether you like it or not, you get sucked in and need to extract yourself from the situation.

What to do:  Be kind, but short.  Make sure you are clearly communicating. For instance “I don’t feel comfortable talking about so-and-so” or “This sounds important to you, but can we focus on A, B and C?”.  Complement your words with strong non-verbal signals too.  Stand up and motion towards closing your office door, start typing or walk away.

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Former Monk Explains How to Spot And Deal With an Energy Vampire

 

“Withdraw your energy from people in your life who are inherently energy vampires. Practice being affectionately detached with them but always kind, gentle, sincere and loving towards them.” ~ Dandapani

Have you ever had the experience of having the life sucked out of you by spending time with a particular person?

I’m talking about feeling exhausted, bored, irritated, stressed, anxious, threatened, overwhelmed or depressed after just a few moments in that person’s company.

There may have been times where you felt guilty for having negative thoughts about that person — which made you feel even worse. You may even have thought there was something wrong with you, such as feeling a headache coming on or stressing over a work deadline. Either way, you didn’t understand why you felt so out of sorts.

If that describes a familiar experience, chances are you have been in the company of an energy vampire.

This is where Dandapani comes in…

Dandapani is a Hindu priest, entrepreneur, international speaker and former monk of 10 years.

 

As monk-turned-business consultant, Dandapani explains, we all have a finite amount of energy to use each day and we’re exposed to people who either fill us with energy or drain us of energy.  People who drain our energy are known as energy vampires. These people could be colleagues, friends, family members – even people we encounter while out running errands.

Dandapani suggests that one of the first things to do when dealing with these people is to figure out if they are a temporary vampire or whether they are inherently an energy vampire. Temporary energy vampires might be going through a difficult time in their life (divorce, loss of family member, job, etc.). In the short-term, they need to lean on others and that’s okay, even though it may be draining.

Conversely, inherent energy vampires are always this way; and they aren’t looking to change. The easiest way to identify this type of person is to assess how you feel after you walk away from them. If you feel exhausted, then chances are that person is an energy vampire.

Here are some common characteristics of energy vampires:

  1. The Victim or Blamer: They consistently talk about how they are always getting the short end of the stick in life. They find external blame wherever possible and like to make others feel guilty.
  2. The Center of Attention: They always seem to make themselves the center of attention in any room or conversation; they like to stand out.
  3. The Narcissist: They are consumed with themselves and their own problems; they take very little time to think about others or how to make their lives better.
  4. The Drama Queen/King: They love the highs and lows, are surrounded by drama constantly, and want to bring everyone along for the ride.

While the best solution is to avoid these people altogether, it can be challenging if they are your co-workers, close friends, or even family members. And when we try to move away from them, we often feel guilty about it.

However difficult, it’s essential that you find a way to break free. What you’re doing is looking after yourself and protecting your energy. When you allow an energy vampire to drain you, they are depleting your ability to help and uplift others and be the best version of yourself.

It’s not about being confrontational, it’s about learning to tactfully avoid energy vampires and, if that’s not possible, then learning how to not engage with them.  Your energy is best used elsewhere.

Written by Robert Glazer of FridayForward

Check out Dandapani’s website here.

 

“People inspire you, or they drain you. PICK THEM WISELY.”- Hans F. Hansen

Don’t feel guilty about NOT spending time with energy vampires

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3 Ways to Protect Yourself from Energy Vampires

Hiya Gorgeous!

A couple of months ago I shared my friend Dr. Christiane Northrup’s online course, Dodging Energy Vampires: An Empath’s Guide to Health & Regaining Power, with our community. Chris’s teachings (and friendship) have impacted my life in a big way, and it warmed my heart to see so many of you connect with her message. I received beautiful responses from people saying that the course helped them identify their energy vampires and start to heal the toxic relationships that had plagued them for years.

Since her message resonated with our community, I asked Chris for some more practical tips that you can put to use right away to protect yourself from toxic relationships with energy vampires. But before we dive into that, I want to share something personal with you—one of my own energy vampire stories.

Facing my energy vampires.

When I was newly diagnosed, I was shocked by the folks who needed me to take care of them. There I was, super scared and fragile, sharing my incurable, stage IV cancer diagnosis and before I knew what hit me, I was comforting them—again and again. It was as if my diagnosis was just so sad and depressing and somehow I needed to cheer them up. Who would be there for them if I went away? If I could get really sick maybe they could too? And so on…

Look, I get it and have compassion, mortality wake-up calls push everyone’s buttons. They certainly pushed mine and I didn’t always bring my best self to the situation either. But when I look back, I can clearly see that a few of these people had always drawn on my energy. There was never a give and take, only a take and take.

I’m not judging these well-meaning folks, but there came a time when I could no longer carry the load for both of us. I had to conserve my energy for my healing—my life depended on it.

Now I want to make something very clear: I don’t advocate walking away from a friendship you care about without having a difficult conversation first. You might be surprised what kind of healing can take place when you give people a chance. I voiced my needs to my friends and some of the relationships became more fulfilling and balanced than ever before. In other cases, the relationships took a back burner, and some even ended, as I focused on my well-being. And that’s ok, too.

I’m hoping that by reading one of my examples of how these toxic relationships might play out, you can better understand how energy vampires work and start to identify, heal or release these relationships in your own life. Or at the very least, learn how to protect your precious energy.

I also hope my example shows you that not everyone who needs you or is going through a tough time is an energy vampire. We all react differently to tragedy, stress, frustration, etc.—and we’re all deserving of love, understanding and patience.

OK, now that we got that squared away—on to Chris’s tips!

Dr. Northrup’s Tips for Protecting Yourself from Energy Vampires

1. Know what to look for.

According to Chris, true energy vampires are masters of disguise. They can be sneaky. But, there are some key red flags to look out for. Energy vampires are manipulative and charming. Because they get their self-esteem from other people, they constantly seek validation and need to be the center of attention. They’re stubborn and rarely back down from disagreements. They call you to talk for hours about what’s going on in their world and never ask how you’re doing.

Keep in mind, energy vampires may have all of these traits, and some might just have one or two. Chris’s advice is to trust your first impression before you talk yourself out of it. If you have one of those deep, inexplicable feelings that someone isn’t good for you, you’re probably right.

2. You can’t revamp a vamp.

As empaths, we see the best in people. Because of that, we often ignore red flags or look at toxic relationships as fixer upper projects. But here’s the thing: We can’t change people. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t learn and grow in our relationships—that’s one of the best parts! But, trying to force change on an unwilling party rarely works, and it often leaves us drained or sick.

This is important, so listen close. Hardcore energy vampires don’t want to be fixed. In fact, Chris says that they usually know exactly what they’re up to. And because they depend on your energy for fuel, they’ll take you up on your attempts to help them—with no intention of changing their ways. You deserve unselfish love and someone who can give that to you doesn’t need to be convinced.

Need a little boost, sweetheart? Grab my free Pep Talk meditation track below:

3. Become a gray rock.

You can’t always avoid energy vampires. Sometimes they’re family members, coworkers or someone else who’s gonna be around for the long haul. But don’t fret, Chris has a strategy for these scenarios: Act like a gray rock.

Yes, you heard that right! Because you know what rocks DON’T do? Give off any energy. You couldn’t squeeze energy out of a gray rock if you put it through an industrial compactor—energy vampires don’t stand a chance.

According to Chris, when you become a gray rock, you don’t engage with energy vampires’ games. You don’t give them advice or enable their bad behavior. You don’t feed them the energy they need to survive. And when they inevitably move on, it can be painful to see them prey on other people you care about. But remember, you need to protect yourself before you can protect others.

Wow, thank you, Chris!

I’ll be meditating on Chris’s advice and thinking about how I can apply it in my own life. I hope you’ll do the same, and that these tips empower you to protect yourself from toxic relationships!

And remember, sweet friend: Be compassionate. We all have days, weeks, months (years even) when we need to lean on other people, and that doesn’t make any of us energy vampires. Take care of the people you love and they’ll do the same for you!

If you want to equip yourself with everything you need to identify, avoid and heal from toxic relationships, you’ve gotta get Chris’s new book, Dodging Energy Vampires. This book is a must for every empath’s library!

Your turn: Did this resonate with you? If so, how? I’m curious about your perspective on energy vampires and how they show up in your own life. Let me know in the comments below!

Peace and energy protection,

The post 3 Ways to Protect Yourself from Energy Vampires appeared first on KrisCarr.com.

2018 Has No Room For Energy Vampires (3 Ways To Remove Them From Your Life)

2018-Has-No-Room-For-Energy-Vampires-3-Ways-To-Remove-Them-From-Your-Life.jpgWhat has suffocated your progress? (Notice I said, “what” not “who”?) Now that Mercury Retrograde has completed, it’s clear that 2018 holds no room for the energy vampires in your life.

However, it’s not the energy vampires who strip you of your progress…it’s your management of them. Your kindness that suffocates your progress for the sake of “keeping the peace” is no peace at all… it’s not even a compromise.

It’s people-pleasing, it’s low energy, and it’s the energy supplykeeping energy vampires thriving and you depleted.

 

Here’s the thing… an energy vampire only knows how to behave like an energy vampire and only looks to you and others to supply them what they need. This is a one-sided win. The moment you cut the supply they’ll stop looking for it.

Recommended: 10 Ways To Protect Yourself From Energy Vampires

Oh but the name calling… and the lashing back from the energy vampires!

What of it? Why does it hold value for you?

It’s coming from a very low vibrating energy source…and therefore holds little value (if any at all), yes?

The name calling from the energy vampires camp will be temporary and anything and anyone who chooses to align with that is simply the continued clarity and uncluttering that must unfold. Uncomfortable…yes…but ultimately a very good thing for you. Trust the process.

Get stronger by being more aware of your own awareness (and less reliant on your excuses):

1. STOP SAYING YES WHEN EVERY FIBER OF YOUR BEING SCREAMS NO!

Every single time you do this you add an energy and momentum creating more space between you and what you want in your life.

Saying ‘Yes’ when you mean ‘No’ is low vibrating energy andexpands on the things aligned with low vibrating energy. Is this what you want? Commit right now to practicing the art of saying, ‘No’ without explanation.

Recommended: The 5 Worst Types Of Emotional Vampires That Are Out To Ruin Your Life

No is a positive word if it means staying the course to a meaningful life with more joy and purpose (remember this next time you have to say no). Lean into the purpose and away from people-pleasing.

2. FIND YOUR OWN STRENGTH ALONE, FIRST

In the Dalai Lama’s 18 rules for living, he states, “Spend time alone every day.” Get strong by learning who you are and why you are, BEFORE the influences of the world impact your energy, your mood, your actions, and ultimately your life.

Manage you and how you choose to be influenced (by authentic leaders, masters, teachers, etc…) and in order to do that, you MUST be the CEO of your life. Demand time alone, schedule it and do it.

3. FORWARD NOT PAST (BE AWARE OF YOUR OWN INNER CONVERSATION, THOUGHTS, AND ACTION)

Get busy thinking about possibilities for your future versus dwelling on your past (or even present unhappy circumstances).

 

Instead of hating what happened, learn to LOVE the lesson and apply what you’ve learned into actions in favor of a brighter future. Look for ways to make your own life more fun and interesting and STOP being reliant on others for it.

Truth be told…as you apply these new ideas into your life a filteringprocess will commence and it’ll be clumsy and uncomfortable. REMEMBER… 2018 holds no room for the energy vampires in your life and it’s up to you (and you only) to cut the supply, protect your peace and enter 2018 cleared of the energy cluster.

Recommended: 9 Signs You Are Being Attacked by an Energy Vampire

Stay the course aligned with the greatest and highest good. In fact, be so good that no matter what any energy vampire says about you, no one could possibly believe it.

2018 is a year of personal empowerment and for that to happen you must release what weighs you down.

Source: onewiselife

Source

https://gostica.com/spiritual-lifestyle/2018-has-no-room-for-energy-vampires-3-ways-to-remove-them-from-your-life/