Since launching Los Angeles’ buzzy RA MA Institute in 2013, the down-to-earth, 37-year-old senior teacher has successfully rebranded Kundalini—a once-underground blend of movement, breathwork, and mantras said to balance the hormones, metabolism, and nervous system—as a “technology” that upgrades our minds and bodies to handle the stresses of the digital age. (How successful was she? Count the number of chic, white-clad women wandering around her Venice digs on any given afternoon, and you’ll get it.)
With two studios, a record label, and an online class platform now under her belt, Jagat has finally distilled Kundalini’s most powerful teachings into her first book, Invincible Living. A modern guide to the philosophies and practices popularized by Yogi Bhajan, who brought Kundalini to the West in the 1960s, there’s an entire chapter dedicated to one of Jagat’s favorite topics: having really good sex.
“People think that you either have a good sex life or you don’t, but it’s just like training for a marathon—you have to practice to be successful,” says Jagat. “[Healing your sexuality] is some of the deepest work you can do. People have a lot of resistance to it, yet everyone feels like they’re missing out on something more…and they are.”
While Yogi Bhajan outlined a whole catalog of tips on how to amp up your sexual experiences, Jagat edits them down to the most simple and effective strategies in Invincible Living. All will help you get your groove back, whether you’re dating around or in a LTR—hey, if it works for Kate and Alicia, why not the rest of us? Keep reading for Guru Jagat’s tips on how to use Kundalini yoga to elevate your sex life.
The number one way to improve you sex life is to focus on quality instead of quantity
According to Kundalini lore, a killer romp in the sack reverberates throughout your system for seven years—and the same goes for a bad one. That’s why, says Jagat, the most important aspect of good sex is being discerning about who you let in, both physically and energetically.
“It’s about making a conscious choice,” she explains. Ideally, you should be seeking out someone you can be ultra-vulnerable with. “Even if it’s just a one-night stand, how can you open yourself and love in the way that you want to be loved the most?”
“Even if it’s just a one-night stand, how can you open yourself and love in the way that you want to be loved the most?”
Locking down the right partner is the hard part; connecting with them is surprisingly simple. “One of the easiest things is to consciously line up the front of your body with your partner’s so your heart, belly, and lower energy centers are connected,” Jagat says. “Make eye contact and coordinate your breath with your partner’s—that in and of itself is going to align the energy.”
In other words, you’re not just turning out the lights, flipping over, and hoping for the best. “That’s so boring,” says Jagat.
Your cervix is a little-known source of sexual pleasure
Just like the feet and ears, the sexual organs are home to tons of reflex points that connect to various other systems in the body. “When people are having beautiful, deep sex, they look healthy and they age differently,” says Jagat. “Part of why sexual encounters are so healing is because they stimulate these reflex points.”
According to Jagat, the most sensitive part of the penis is at the base of the shaft, while a woman’s cervix is a little-known focal point for both sexual satisfaction and whole body health. To loosen the hips and establish a deeper connection with your cervix, she recommends flowing through cat and cow postures at a rapid clip, for three to five minutes a pop. (As you inhale, arch your back and lift your chest; on the exhale, round your back and pull your navel towards your spine).
A woman’s cervix is a little-known focal point for both sexual satisfaction and whole body health.
“You’re literally tilting and contracting your cervix along with the rest of your pelvis,” Jagat explains. “It’s this incredibly sensitive part of your nervous system that, if stimulated with breath and movement, can create an orgasmic experience without even being in a sexual encounter. It’s pretty cool.” Yup, I’ll definitely have what she’s having.
Foreplay should start 72 hours before having sex
Yogi Bhajan said that for a truly mind-blowing sexual encounter, you should start mentally and physically preparing for it 72 hours in advance. Yes, it sounds like a lot of work, but Jagat insists this prep time can actually be just as hot as the main event.
“Three days before your date, pull back on some of the physical contact and start sexting, flirting, and being playful with your partner,” she says. “People are apt to do that anyway in a new relationship, but if you’re in a longer-term relationship it’s a real practice. Sex is born out of taboo—it’s friction, it’s polarity, it’s energy.”
Once you finally get together, Jagat says it’s best to do the deed before you go out on your date, especially if it involves dinner and drinks—that way, your energy’s not being used up by the digestive process. “It creates a little more electricity; plus, it’s not the same-old, same-old,” she points out.
Use Sat Kriya to release sexual tension and prime your body for pleasure
To release tension and open up your body’s energetic pleasure centers, Jagat’s a big fan of a yogic technique called sat kriya. (FYI “kriya”—pronounced kree-yah—is Kundalini-speak for a sequence of poses, mantras, or breathwork.) “It’s an awesome practice that really readies people for a more energetic and powerful sexual experience,” she says.
Here’s how it works, as outlined in Invincible Living—try it during your 72-hour pre-sex window:
Posture: Sit in rock pose with your buttocks on the heels. Bring the arms overhead, stretching from the armpits, and then steeple the index fingers, and interlace all the other fingers. Women cross the left thumb over the right; men do the opposite.
Eyes: Keep your eyes closed, focusing up and in at the brow point.
Breath and mantra: Breathe naturally and chant the mantra sat nam out loud. On sat, pull your rectum, sex organs, and navel point up and in. On nam, release the lock. Continue.
Time: 3 to 11 minutes.
To end: Inhale, stretch more, and pull your rectum, sex organs, and navel point up and in. Exhale and release. Repeat. Then inhale, exhale, hold the breath out, and stretch more. Inhale and relax the arms and gently lower yourself onto your back. Ideally relax on the back for the same amount of time that you practiced sat kriya—or at least for a couple of minutes if you don’t have a lot of time.
If you’re on hormonal birth control, it could be holding you back in the sex goddess department. Here’s how to get your mojo back, post-pill—and how to return to balance if your libido is lacking for other reasons.
This story was originally published on January 25, 2017; it was updated on June 19, 2018.