Ever lay awake at night wondering, “Why me”? Why do terrible things happen to me? Why do my relationships end with me being hurt? What have I ever done to deserve this? What’s life about anyway? If so, then know that you are not alone. And more importantly, start by letting go of your victim consciousness and realize that everything is exactly as it’s meant to be.
Are you sick of hearing this? Good, because it’s TRUE! Everything that happens to you, your relationships both good and bad, your experiences in life whether happy or sad, is all in perfect timing. Despite you believing otherwise, your life is as it’s meant to be. Right, so I’m meant to be hurt and feel shit about life? Is that just the way it’s meant to be? I hear you thinking now! And the answers to your question is actually both yes and no. It is my belief as a Spiritual Being, like you, that everything we experience in life has a higher purpose. There is a deeper meaning which, when we discover it, helps us evolve and expand as human beings with a Spiritual Consciousness.
Why Am I Here? What is My Purpose?
These questions have been chief among those most frequently asked by my coaching clients over the years. The specific answer isn’t as important as much as the meaning you assign to the question. By that, I mean, what do you believe on the deepest level of your being that you are here to do, be an experience? I believe we are all here to help each other grow physically, mentally, emotionally as the amazing Spiritual Beings we are now and are becoming!
When you think about life as a series of experiences designed to help us evolve, you begin to see the bigger picture. The challenging relationships, the family or friends, who we perceive have betrayed us, the hurtful emotions you have had to overcome – aren’t you richer for the experience? Look at what you have learned, understood, and how much more of life you have come to experience as a result. Aren’t you much wiser and more empathetic? Would you have learned or gained such meaningful insight any other way? Every emotion evoked by another person you meet, both happy and sad, is your opportunity to evolve deeply. We may not always enjoy the experience at first, or at all, but on reflection, we realize that without this emotional trigger being pulled within, we wouldn’t have moved forward or gained such valuable insight.
The life purpose we all share is to evolve and grow, we do this through our experiences and most of all through those which challenge us most.
- The loss of a loved one,
- Breakdown of close relationships
- Aging and coming to terms with mortality
- The difficult sibling relationship
How we process and respond to life’s challenges, is infinitely more important than the challenge itself!
Do You REACT or RESPOND in Your Life?
Reaction is automatic, responding is manual! I used to react a lot when I was growing up, to situations and to what others said and did to me. The outcome was for the most part unhelpful as it always resulted in hurt for someone, and neither person ended up feeling better. In short, reacting doesn’t resolve issues.
I have learned to respond to others instead. When you respond you give a considered reply, which comes from a place of love within. Both people learn from this interaction or at least have the opportunity to learn. Responding isn’t a knee-jerk reaction or unleashing your emotional reaction. Instead, you are being human with respect for others, and especially yourself. It does require practice, and controlling and/or resolving our “emotional triggers, we all have them (developed through hurts we have experienced and unresolved issues).
Seeing others as also being human helps us respond constructively without abandoning our integrity, which is very important. We are all here to learn and grow. Our emotional system is the navigation system we use to guide our evolution. We are both students and teachers in each other’s lives! If you have watched any reality television shows, you can see life being played out in dramatic 3D technicolor! But it is also very evident that when even strangers are put together in this way, relationships form, strong bonds and friendships are created. But what you also realize, is that we are all the same, we all want to be loved. There are those who grate on our emotions too, these people are either your greatest student or your best teacher.
Either way, they will challenge you to grow mentally, emotionally and spiritually. The show Big Brother is a great example of this concept. Being forced to process your humanity in a controlled environment such as this, is a magnified version of life, the life we each are here to live and experience. So, the next time you find yourself tossing and turning at night unable to rest with your head spinning with a hundred thoughts, or you are upset and feeling hurt by another’s actions. Ask yourself:
Am I the teacher or the student in this situation?