Technique to transform negativity into positivity – Excerpts from Gurudev’s commentary on Shiva Sutras(Part 2/2) – Wisdom by Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

Part 1 of this article can be found here – https://www.wisdom.srisriravishankar.org/are-your-problems-real-shiv-sutras/

Shakti chakra sandhane vishvasamharah” (Shiva Sutras) – there are different types of energy centers in your body. Bring your attention to these centers, observe them and the world of worries and thoughts that trouble your mind will disappear. There will be peace.

When we feel anger, emotion or excitement, then different parts of our body experience various sensations. When you get angry, the area between the two eyebrows ignites; when you become unhappy, the throat starts to choke; when you feel hatred, a sensation happens in the heart region. What happens when you feel jealous? The stomach churns. Goodwill is also generated in the stomach.When you feel very happy the area around the navel experiences some sensations. Similarly, when we feel jealousy or love, there is a sensation around the heart. Likewise, when you are sad, there is a feeling in the throat and also when you want to express gratitude, you cannot express it in words, and we often say that the throat chokes.

All together in our body there are seven chakras, or energy centers, and all 27,000 subtle nerves in our body are connected to these seven centers.

The first center is muladhara chakra. Here, the energy is either dormant or active. Shakti, or energy, rises from muladhara chakra to svadhihthana chakra where it expresses itself either as lust or creativity. When it climbs up higher to manipura chakra, the region around the navel, it is expressed as jealousy, generosity, joy or greed. Generosity, happiness and greed all happen in this one place. The same energy rises to the heart, anahata chakra, where it expresses itself in three ways – love, hatred and fear. When you are frightened, you place your hand on your heart, and also when you express love or respect, you touch your heart. Feelings of hatred are also connected to the heart. Then the same energy rises to the throat region, or visuddha chakra, where it expresses itself as gratitude or misery. When you feel grief or express gratitude, the throat begins to choke. This energy then travels upward to the area between the eyebrows, known as ajna chakra, where it is expressed as awareness, knowledge and anger. So Shiva’s third eye represents both knowledge and anger. When Shiva is angry, he reduces everything to ashes just by opening his third eye. Finally, when this same energy rises to the top of the head to sahaswara chakra, there is only bliss and joy.

This is how the energy of consciousness travels, and you can become familiar with it by observing this movement. Normally, life energy is flowing through these chakras, but if we feel under pressure or disturbed, then knots form in the chakras, obstructing the flow of energy. Place your attention on the energy in these chakras, and you will see that the negative energy in the chakras gradually dissolves.

All impurities disappear, and positive qualities are established. If you feel jealous and then meditate with attention on your navel, the jealousy will automatically subside. Due to jealousy, we make mistakes and then try to defend ourselves by justifying what we did. We should know that all that happened was because of impurities in our chakras. “Shakti chakra sandhane vishvasamharah” – the world will be annihilated if you come in contact with these chakras through meditation. “Annihilating the world” means dropping the worries of this world forever.

Jaire Alexander lives life with purpose and positivity

The decision to do yoga was rooted in Alexander’s desire to do something out of the norm from traditional interactions between athletes and kids. Instead of playing basketball or going to a movie, Alexander wanted to expand minds.

Yoga, an activity Alexander had a little experience in, seemed like the perfect fit.

Cunningham, who works with veteran defensive back Tramon Williams and several other players currently on the Packers’ roster, brought the kids through the poses, while Alexander worked his way from one mat to another.

He offered encouragement to each child until finally coming across a boy wearing Alexander’s No. 23. Despite seeing his jersey scattered across Lambeau Field in recent months, Alexander still gets emotional when he sees someone wearing his jersey.

As a kid, he owned one Michael Vick Falcons jersey, a fitting present for a seventh birthday. Alexander treasured it and still pinches himself at the realization there are now kids doing the exact same thing with his jersey.

Alexander thanked the child before moving on to speak to the next kid, trading several high-fives along the way.

“To go out and spend that money on a jersey of mine, I feel like I owe you,” Alexander said. “I feel like I owe you a hello, a picture or something because $100 is not easy for everybody to come by. I’m just really appreciative of the fact people are taking notice.”

Alexander eventually made his way back to the front, where he went through a series of different yoga poses. As impressive as the rookie’s flexibility was, Alexander commanded the respect of all the adults when he successfully helped Cunningham quiet the room for meditation, playfully warning the kids in a comedic tone that they’d owe him $5 if they spoke.

When one child called his bluff, Alexander instantly joked: “I’m gonna need that.” The quip initially garnered a round of laughter and then a wave of unexpected silence.

It’s not uncommon for the Boys and Girls Club to receive offers to travel for a sponsored event, but rarely does the benefactor come along for the ride. It wasn’t just Alexander’s presence that made the event special, though. It’s how engaged he was with the kids, asking each for his or her name at the start of very conversation.

“Jaire answered the questions from the kids so meaningfully,” said Stephanie Nespoli, the director for communication and development for the Boys and Girls Club of Green Bay. “I thought he really shared things about himself to them that helps them relate to him more.

“It helps them realize that they’re not much different from him and maybe if they keep working hard, they can reach success like he did. I think that was really meaningful to them.”

That energy radiated throughout the room and the children’s excitement to meet a Packers player could be seen when hands shot up to ask Alexander questions after meditation. While things started on a lighter note – the first two questions were whether Alexander was married or had a girlfriend – they dove into deeper topics like why he chose to play football.

Alexander’s answer is two-fold. Picking up the sport when he was seven, Alexander just wanted to get out of the house, but once he became good at it, the game served as motivation as a means to a better life for both Alexander and his family.

“Once you are able to hone in on one thing and you perfect it, it comes second nature. That’s what football is for me,” Alexander said. “Just being able to get out of my situation. That was a motivational factor in why I did everything I do. I ended up falling in love with the game now. That’s why I’m here.”

Simple Steps to Turn Anxiety into Positivity

She told me she was waking up at 3:30 every morning like clockwork. Instead of being able to turn over and go back to sleep, her mind would spring into gear and she would toss and turn for an hour or more…only to be rudely awakened by her alarm clock at 6:00, when she would drag herself out of bed, tired, cranky and not at all ready to face the day.

Sound familiar? It’s really hard to stay positive when you’ve got anxiety beating down your door – even when you’re trying to sleep!

So I want to give you a few suggestions I have found to be helpful, even when you’re dragging.

“Look at something that makes you smile”

When you wake up anxious and beat down, look at something that makes you smile right away. Maybe that’s a picture of your child or grandchild. Or of a favorite holiday when you all laughed and laughed. Or maybe it’s your silly dog who just jumped up on your bed, tail wagging and trying to lick your face.

Use a physical cue to turn your mind to a happy place. As you look at that picture or hug your dog, take just 30 seconds and enjoy the moment. Take a deep breath and think about that happy vacation or how warm and soft your dog is. As my 10-year-old son says, “Savor the moment, Mama!”

“Take time to be grateful for this”

Using the energy of those happy thoughts, the next step is to start being grateful for this positive thing in your life. You can say it out loud or just to yourself. It might sound something like this…

“Thank you for this sweet dog who makes me laugh. Thank you for her soft fur. Thank you I get to hug her and snuggle her close this morning. Thank you that I have money to take care of her and buy her food. Thank you that she brings me joy.”

I must warn you that what invariably happens is that right about now your anxious thoughts will try to intrude. Our mind is crazy like that.…lost in the moment with your sweet dog, you suddenly start thinking about that horrible employee who is causing all kinds of problems with your team.

So when that person comes to mind, instead of jumping into anxiety about the strife she brings, just picture her. Then control the thought about her intentionally, turning it to gratitude. 

It might sound like this…

“Wow. Carley. Hmm…Thank you for Carley. Thank you for the way working with her is allowing me to learn and grow. Thank you that I get to figure out how to either get her back on track or let her go for career redirection. Thank you that I’m capable and know how to either work through this or get help to work through this…Thank you for my job that lets me use my skills and talents. Thank you that I get to have so many awesome people on my team. And as difficult as Carley is, she just shows me how fortunate I am to have so many other great employees. I’m confident I can handle this today.”

Just writing that made me feel better!

“Repeat as needed”

Repeat as needed throughout the day. During difficult times, I know anxious thoughts are never far away. And when they overwhelm, I find we often allow ourselves to obsess on all the possible things that could/would/might go wrong and it becomes a negative spiral that never ends. It just gets darker and deeper.

That’s why it’s so important to recognize that you can have the victory and find the positive if you choose to. These simple steps…Observe, Give Thanks, Repeat will help you do that.

Have you tried to turn your anxiety around to find the positive? If so, what works for you? Let me know as I’d love to hear your solution.

The post Simple Steps to Turn Anxiety into Positivity appeared first on Christy Largent.

Use these attraction exercises to get yourself noticed – Positivity Guides


Getting yourself noticed isn’t difficult, but it’s how you get yourself noticed that matters most. The Law of Attraction is not something that simple comes your way; you have to put a little effort in.

There are techniques that you can use in order to make the Law of Attraction work for you so that you can get what you want out of life. We’re unpacking three in order to set the scene.

Learn How to Meditate Using Creative Visualization

First and foremost, if you are interested in utilizing the Law of Attraction to its fullest potential, make sure that you begin each day with meditation. Meditation is important as it brings your focus toward what you desire and what you expect for that day.

Creative Visualization is a powerful tool in creating the feelings behind the desire. It is not enough to just meditate on something you wish to attract into your life, visualizing brings it to life.

Creative Visualization takes it one step further by incorporating the feelings you are experiencing, as you see yourself:

As you embrace the feelings of joy and happiness, you will see that more joy and happiness will enter your life. Creating visualization makes this happen by using your emotions as triggers.

Learn the Art of Being Grateful

Being grateful means truly understanding how much we already do have without asking for any more. When you are in a state of gratitude, so many more things to be grateful for come our way.

Take a look around you, there is so much to be grateful for, but you need to stand up and take notice. When you start to understand the simple blessing such as butterflies or flowers that envelope your life, you will feel more joy. Once you feel more joy, you will manifest more joyful events in your life.

Write Your Own Thoughts

If you really want to get the most out of the Law of Attraction, then you must consciously control your own thoughts on a daily basis. Sometimes you must control your thoughts on a moment-by-moment basis.

If you find yourself going into negative or self-sabotaging thoughts, you need to take responsibility in several ways.

By creating your thoughts to show up as you wish, you create your life to show up as you wish, as well.

There is so Much Power in Positivity | 1N5

Positivity is pure power. I truly mean it when I say that my whole life changed when I started implementing positivity into my life. I was in a dark hole, not really knowing if anything was on the other side.

I didn’t realize how close I could get to the life I always dreamed of, by just being positive with myself.

From a young age, we begin to crave external validation. In kindergarten, I remember getting stickers for doing a good job. A reward given by someone else. The early desire and need for someone else to praise us and the neglect of praising ourselves becomes a vicious cycle.

The rest of my life, I needed external validation to survive. At the core of my existence was the approval of others and the remarks from others about how wonderful I was. The one piece that was missing, was me being able to validate myself. And because I lacked self-validation, I felt incredibly bad about myself no matter what people said about me. I was negative with myself about who I was, where I had been and where I was going.

Until I discovered the power of positive affirmations. Telling myself I was beautiful in the mirror every morning even though I felt anything but, was one of the best things I ever did for myself. I started feeding myself with positivity and for the first time in my life, things finally, finally came together.

My dreams of making a difference and helping people are unfolding right before my eyes. My dreams of meeting the love of my life and getting married are no longer my dreams, but my reality and are literally taking my breath away. Because of positivity, I was able to tell myself I was worthy of every beautiful thing I have right now. I told myself I was capable, and I told myself that no matter what happened, not only was I strong enough to endure it, but that I had the most amazing support system around me.

I truly believe without positivity, I would still be in the emotionally abusive relationship I was in. I would have still been chasing external validation and missing out on the blessings of my experiences today.

I can imagine you have lots of dreams for yourself. And maybe you are doing everything right, but the one thing that holds you back is your mindset. You tell yourself you aren’t good enough or you worry that you don’t have the right tools. But you have the power to change your mindset and to nurture your brain and positivity in this moment. Instead of focusing on the negativity in this situation or what could go wrong, focus on what could go right. Visualize your dreams coming true in magnitudes so large, you aren’t even sure if they are possible. But then remind yourself that those dreams are absolutely possible.

I know there will be bumps along the way, it will never be a fully perfect experience, but if you believe in yourself, if you trust and believe in the process and if you remember you are capable and worth it, there is no dream too big.

For a while, I thought I was stuck in the situation I was in. That there was no other life for me than the mental struggle I was facing surrounded by someone who further brought me down. I thought that was it. I thought that is what I deserved. Until I realized, I deserved more and now I realize that my negative mindset kept me back, and my positive mindset set me free. Positivity set me free to love myself and to find love.

I believe in the power of positivity now more than ever. Visualize your dreams and tell yourself they are possible. And then get up every day and do your best to find the positive, be patient with yourself, and watch everything fall into place.

I promise you, positivity is attainable and so very powerful.

The Secret Power of Positivity

+++++++ I recently attended another seminar with Kirk Duncan – a very motivational trainer. He spoke about a principle that I’ve known about for a long time but had discounted. Perhaps I didn’t really understand it until now. (I’m still learning about it.) You’ve heard of the saying “garbage in, garbage out” (GIGO). I know that computer programmers used to say that a lot. This applies to everything in life. To put it more broadly, as Kirk was teaching, the type of energy we put into anything will determine the type of results (energy) we get back out.

We’ve known about this principle for a long time in relation to plants. It was discovered a number of years ago that if you play soft, elevating music to plants, they grow better. Many people claim that they’re even affected by the things you say to them. Masaru Emoto used this same principle in his research with water. He wrote a book entitled The Hidden Messages in Water­. In it, he talked about how he would play certain types of music around water. He would then quickly freeze it and look at how the water crystallized. With classical music, it created beautiful even patterns. With hard raucous music (like heavy metal), the ice crystals were very misshapen and disorderly. He got the same kind of results with speech. Gentle affirming words created beautiful crystals, while angry, hateful words created ugly crystals. Writing words on the containers, such as love and hate, did the same thing.

All that is interesting, but it may not make a whole lot of difference in your life. Where it truly makes a difference is with people and situations. In the Bible, it says “Pleasant words are as an honeycomb, sweet to the soul, and health to the bones.” (Proverbs 16:24). Words contain powerful energy. They can be healing or hurtful. What you say cannot be unsaid, even with an apology. Even when you’re joking and the person on the other end knows that you’re joking, negative remarks can be damaging to one’s self-esteem and confidence. It even goes further than that. If you believe in the power of the subconscious mind (as I do), you would realize that even your thoughts about another person have an effect on them. We’re all in contact with each other on an energetic level. But even if you don’t believe that, you must realize that your attitude about another person will come out in your speech toward them, how you look at them, things you do or don’t do for them, etc. You cannot entirely hide your feelings about another person when you’re interacting with them on a regular basis!

But what about the thoughts you think about yourself and your life? Wouldn’t the same rules apply? The type of energy you put in will determine the type of results that you get. You can’t grump your way to success. You can’t complain enough to make your life happy and enjoyable. It doesn’t work that way. If you put in negativity, including fear, doubt, anger, etc., your results will not be what you would like them to be. I’ve written a couple of times about the power of gratitude. Gratitude, faith, love, confidence, etc. will elevate your thinking, open your mind to new possibilities, calm your fears, and drastically improve your chances for success.

Easy, right? Of course not. If your life is humming along and you’re setting and meeting goals and so forth, this kind of thinking may come easier for you. But if you’re depressed and discouraged, if life is not looking at all rosy, if you’re faced with crushing burdens and hardships, how do you turn your thinking around? I’ve listened to lots of motivational speakers who tell me to think a certain way. I keep looking for that little switch in my brain that will change my thinking from negative to positive. I haven’t found it. Have you? I haven’t mastered this, but I’m working on it. I have found that if you start with little things, then you can start to get a handle on it. Kirk Duncan teaches us to say “I manage my emotions; my emotions don’t manage me.” Of course, even he knows that it’s a long process to get to that point. One thing you have to realize is that often times; negative thinking is simply a bad habit. Like any habit, you have to consciously work on changing it, and it takes a lot of practice. Pay attention to your thoughts. When you catch yourself thinking negatively about yourself, another person, or a situation in your life, quickly replace it with something positive. I’m not saying to be complacent. For example, if you don’t like your job, you don’t have to stick with it for the rest of your life. However, thinking positive thoughts about your job will not lock you into it and it may just make it more enjoyable, which will improve your performance and may lead to a better job.

Remember, positive in = positive out. Negative in = negative out. Whatever you want to grow and improve in your life – your income, your marriage, your performance, whatever – invest positive energy into it and stop putting in negative energy. I believe you’ll be a whole lot happier and successful if you do.

Positivity in Business

… from the desk of the CEODavid Fisher

Positivity is staying positive even when you find a really good reason to be negative.

Bad things happen in life. Sometimes, it’s only one thing. Other times, it’s a torrential downpour that doesn’t seem to let up. Either way, we must keep going. It’s important to take time to grieve, recuperate, and do whatever we need to do to accept whatever situation we must face.

There is something that can help us in whatever bad situation we find ourselves in. There are right ways to talk to ourselves within these situations. We can’t always control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond to it.

Positive thinking and positive self-talk are amazing tools. Positivity and the power of positive thinking are real. Positivity is the best medicine.

Our brains work in amazing and complex ways. There are trillions of neurons and synapses working in tandem to create the reality we see before us. Within these firing synapses and cells are thoughts.

Our thoughts are part of a loop that affects everything we do. Our thoughts affect our emotions. When we think of something negative, we become angry or frustrated. Our actions begin to become affected. We think about the bad day at work, and then we are irritable. When we become irritable, we won’t be ourselves. Essentially, our emotions affect our actions.

Once our actions are affected, we believe our life has changed negatively. Maybe we believe life sucks and there’s nothing we can do about it. We generate more negative thoughts about the future and our current situation. It’s an endless loop that never ends well.

Positive thinking can help curb a negative outlook. When think positively, our thoughts become positive. Positive thoughts channel into positive emotions, which help motivate us and regain a sense of normalcy. Positive emotions lead to positive actions, such as coping with our situations and trying to make the best of them. Positivity works.

Positive thinking occurs in the mind, but that doesn’t mean the results only take place in the mind. Positivity, including positive thinking, can help our bodies as well as our minds.

Positivity can help us reduce negative stress, which in turn helps our bodies. Positive thinking helps us gain confidence, which leads to relaxation, because we are not worried when we are confident.

Not only can positive thinking help with your muscles and immune system, but it can also help us sleep better at night. One of the key points of positivity is to be grateful. When we feel grateful, we sleep better.

When life gets hard to handle, stop and take a breath. Take a look around and slow down. Life does not happen 15 days at a time. It happens one day at a time—a concept many people tend to forget. If life’s negative stresses start to get the best of you, take some deep breaths and soak up the moment you’re experiencing.

Positivity is a great tool to use in our everyday lives. While life is unpredictable and often unstable, our reaction to it doesn’t have to be. Try to see the positive side of situations. It leads to a happier and healthier life for both our body and our mind.

Positivity in Business

One of the most important steps we can take toward achieving our greatest potential in business is to learn to monitor our attitude and its impact on our work performance, relationships and everyone around us. Being in business is similar to being on a roller coaster ride, there are ups and downs. We encounter hard times, heartache, success, and failure. The key is to realize it’s not what happens to us that matters, rather how we choose to respond.

The best leaders are the best learners. To maintain my winner’s attitude I challenge myself to learn something new every day.

Many companies bet on having a cut-throat, high-pressure, take-no-prisoners culture to drive their financial success. But a large and growing body of research on positive organizational psychology demonstrates that not only is a cut-throat environment harmful to productivity over time, but that a positive environment will lead to dramatic benefits for employers, employees, and the bottom line.

When we maintain a positive attitude, it becomes infectious and those around us pick up on our positive energy.

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HOW BODY POSITIVITY CAN UNLOCK YOUR INTUITION

After a lifetime of food issues, Jillian Murphy discovered that living fully in her own skin was the key to her magic. She shares how body positivity can unlock your intuition …

jillian murphy ruby warrington the numinous material girl mystical world the food freedom body love collective wild little hearts photography winning back your body

Photo of Jillian by Wild Little Hearts Photography

“Before you can hear, much less follow, the voice of your soul, you have to win back your body.” – Meggan Watterson

I remember the day I first abandoned my body. 

I was 8 years old and visiting the mysterious temple my mother escaped to every evening when my dad got home from work—she called this evasive place of worship “the gym.” It was a Saturday open house and I was an immediate convert. The place was magical – dusty rose carpet, slick chrome and mirrors, George Michael pumping through the speakers, and LYCRA. So much lycra! (It was the 80s, k?)

I could tell right away that this was the place for me—a space of transformation, potential, and movie-worthy —this was a place where life happened. I grabbed a pop and a hotdog and then I naively hopped up on the scale where they were weighing everyone. And that’s where “It” got me.

As I scarfed my lunch, the two staff members in charge of weighing me began sniggering. Whispering about something clearly “adding 5 pounds” while looking at my body.

I wasn’t exactly sure what was going on but I knew the joke was on me.And I knew it was bad. Bad enough to remember but never ever talk about, until 25 years later, when I finally started to heal my relationship with food and with my own shape and size.

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Coming face to face with “it” … 
“It” is not that creepy clown from the Stephen King movie you’re picturing. No, no, the “It” I speak of is much worse—its name is diet culture and it spews a thin-is-best, fatphobic, classist, able-ist, racist, gender-biased rhetoric where the gold standard of beauty, body, and more recently “wellness,” is blatantly clear, objectively unhealthy, and unavailable to most.

Beyond the gym, there were many other moments when “It” got me, some that obvious, highlighted in Technicolor and frozen in time—a mental photo album created to prove my lack—while others were so subtle I internalized them without realizing, recognizing the damage only in hindsight.

From health messaging at school and dieting advice from teen magazines, to negative looks from boys and the admiration of “beautiful” girls in front of me, the signs were everywhere.

Once, I remember hearing an older male cousin condescendingly laugh about the shape of a specific woman – stating that “to be attractive to men your shoulders needed to be at least “X”cm wider than your waist. Though I thought it harsh, I internalized the comment as though it were about me. In a diet culture with rigid beauty ideals, no woman is left unscathed.

Everywhere, the message I absorbed was: you are not good enough. More specifically: your body is not good enough.  

Even more specifically: your body is not good enough and, as a female, it’s your personal responsibility to take charge of your weight and beauty and behavior and do what it takes until you fit the ideal lest you remain unworthy forever. Also, hot sticks of processed meat are un-ladylike.

jillian murphy ruby warrington the numinous material girl mystical world the food freedom body love collective wild little hearts photography winning back your body

Photo of Jillian by Wild Little Hearts Photography

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Your intuition lives in your flesh …
It might look like a criticism, a comment, a side-eye (sometimes much worse), and it makes you gasp, the foul gas of “you’re not good enough” filling your lungs and seeping into your tissues. From that day on, the myth of diet culture is no longer just a story around you, it is a story about you.

You disconnect. You abandon your physical self. You override your female knowing that your curvy, lumpy, bumpy body is beautiful and normal and you do your best to crush the voice that says “I’m hungry” or “carbs would be nice” because that voice is clearly an idiot that doesn’t know bikini season is coming up.

The result? Food issues, yes. But diet culture doesn’t just destroy our relationship with food and distort our body image—it separates us from the most powerful ally we have—our inner knowing.  

Your intuition lives in your flesh and speaks to you through your body. She is nourished by pleasure, abundance, approval, and desire.

When she has been dampened and starved into submission, you are left living a storyline that keeps you doubtful, unsteady, competitive, and unsure. An ideal that keeps you distracted from your most important work in the world and suggests your worth is up for debate.

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Amplify the whisper …
When we discourage (read: flat out ignore) the whisper of biological feedback that tells us we need more calories or carbs or a day of rest—we simultaneously diminish the whisper that helps us discern and decide in all areas of our lives.

These whispers are one in the same. Learning to hear and trust the signals from our very intelligent, self-regulating, female appetites is a super-powered short cut, reconnecting us to our broader inner knowing. It amplifies the whisper.

I lost so much time sacrificing my wellbeing and connection to self in the pursuit of worthiness via weight loss and superficial beauty. I made bad decisions. I was distracted. I lost time. I learned slowly that, in order to write a new storyline for myself, I would need the power of my intuition and that the first step in rebuilding a connection with my soul voice was winning back my body.

jillian murphy ruby warrington the numinous material girl mystical world the food freedom body love collective wild little hearts photography winning back your body

Photo of Jillian & family by Wild Little Hearts Photography

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Here’s how to start amplifying the whisper and winning back your own body …

1// Give up the pursuit of weight-loss. The pursuit of weight loss is THE thing that disconnects us and keep us looking outside of ourselves for shoddy solutions. Weight-loss attempts fail over 90% of the time, long-term, and the collateral damage is your relationship with food and your connection to your inner knowing. Start by pretending that you aren’t in control of your weight (because you really aren’t) and that your only goal is to feel vibrant and energetic and joyful in your body.

2// Counter the deprivation narrative. Tuning into our hunger and reliably feeding our bodies is the first step in repairing the collateral damage of deprivation and moving towards a more intuitive relationship with food.

Start the process of consistent nourishment by connecting with your hunger signals. See if you can rate your hunger on a scale of 0-10 (0 = not hungry at all, 10 = “hungry,” low blood sugar, shaky). Can you notice the subtle differences between a 4 and a 7, or do you regularly swing from overstuffed to starving?

3//Discover your delicious. The basics when it comes to nutrition and movement have been well understood and unchanging for generations – move your body regularly, get fresh air, drink water, eat lots of plants and unprocessed foods – not too little, not too much, and honor your mental/emotional need for pleasurable, celebratory foods.

Now, from this magical place—without all the rigid rules, “shoulds”, and fears—what do you feel like eating? How do you feel like eating it? How do you want to move your body and for how long?

*Note: There is a good chance you have NO IDEA. Start by asking the questions and experimenting. Follow your curiosity and see how it goes—maybe you hate plain raw carrots but you love them roasted or with dip (Hot tip: DIP IS DELICIOUS). Allow yourself to try new things and neutrally observe how your body feels.

4// Fully live with the beautiful bod you’ve got. When your physical appearance stops representing your entire worth and is, instead, just a fun outward expression of your personality, the game changes. Start living the life you aspire to have when you are in the perfect body and watch the shift!

Make a list of all the activities you are waiting to do when you lose the weight, get more toned, have your nose fixed, are more perfect, etc. Make the list as exhaustive as possible. Next step? Start doing all of those things IMMEDIATELY. Wear the red lipstick, rock the shorts, eat the gelato, show your navel, go on the date, try the tap class, climb a mountain, go back to school. Do it all!

Dr. Jillian Murphy is a registered, licensed Doctor of Naturopathic Medicine. She has dedicated the past 8 years to studying intuitive eating and body image, and works with diverse, smart, health-conscious, women who are DONE WITH DIETING, and looking to get out of their heads and re-connect with their bodies. Follow her on Instagram, listen for more wisdom on her Podcast, and join The Food Freedom/Body Love Collective, her monthly membership space that provides you with the tools, strategies, support, and community you need to live healthfully in the body you are IN!