Not everyone who drains your energy or downs your mood is mal-intentioned. In fact, more often than not, those we label as “energy vampires” are simply unaware of how important life force energy is, where it comes from, and how easy it is to replenish it from within. So, instead of tending to their own energetic alignment, they look to other human beings for soothing – not unlike some people reach for a piece of chocolate when they’re overwhelmed or have had a bad day. This article will help you to understand how energy vampires act, so you can clear them from your life. The most common characteristic of energy vampires is that they are almost exclusively focused on their own needs and desires. They don’t stop to consider what another person is doing, thinking or feeling before they set about dominating the airwaves. Some energy vampires are outgoing life-of-the-party types whose dramatic stories are often funny or entertaining. Others siphon energy by pouting, withdrawing, or even manifesting physical ailments that demand others’ attention or sympathy. Energy vampires exist in every conceivable setting – at work, in family structures, and in your intimate relationships. The following five tips will help you recognize how they act so you can clear these people from your life. Redefine the way you think about people who drain your energy. While the phrase “energy vampire” is now commonly batted around in the spiritual pop culture, it has undertones of victim consciousness that emphasize our powerlessness rather than our power. When you label someone an energy vampire, you place all the focus on that person’s behavior – which is something over which you have absolutely no control. So instead of thinking in terms who may or may not be an energy vampire, focus on the one thing that is always within your sphere of influence – how, where, and to whom you give your energy. Acknowledge that you are the only one who can affect your own energy flow and that you do this by virtue of how you focus your attention. In every moment and in every situation, you have the power to notice all that is going well and to appreciate the positive aspects of whatever is unfolding around you. Even if you’re in the middle of the unwanted or unpleasant experience, you have the ability to imagine it differently, to leave the situation altogether, or to give it only a small percentage of your attention. How you direct your moment by moment thoughts has everything to do with how much vitality and resourcefulness you have access to. And you absolutely have the power to focus in ways that replenish you rather than diminish you. Become sensitive to your own feelings of resistance. Anytime you feel your energy beginning to wane; if someone is “ pushing your buttons , or seemingly trying to dominate your attention, notice that the most uncomfortable aspect of this scenario is the inner resistance that you offer in reaction to it. We lose a tremendous amount of life force when we make other people or situations wrong, or conclude that in order for us to feel better, someone else must change. Realize that the true conflict you are experiencing is not the result of someone else’s behavior, but rather the internal resistance their behavior is bringing up within you. Mine your resistance for the wisdom that it holds. Every negative emotion that we feel holds vital information that, when received and applied, can lead us to greater resilience and balance. Anytime you find yourself resisting another person’s choices or actions, consider which of your values, desires, or boundaries are being tested by this person, and identify a couple of actions that you could take to restore your own integrity. You can do this by simply asking yourself, “What would feel better to me right now?” Give yourself permission to follow your own guidance. Once you identify the internal source of your resistance, make the decision to love yourself enough to soothe it. For example, if a conversation with a co-worker takes a turn for the negative, give yourself permission to change the subject or walk away. If a social engagement you agreed to months ago no longer feels like a nourishing choice, give yourself permission not to participate. If a friend or loved one asks for your help at a time when you are overwhelmed or run down, give yourself permission to tend to your own energy needs before theirs. Remember that you have the ability, the right, and the personal responsibility to honor your needs and desires above those of everyone else. And, if you don’t fill yourself up first, you will have nothing to give another anyway. To understand more about the art of energy mastery, we invite you to join the interactive community at www.ChristyWhitman.com and take advantage of 7 days of free meditations.
Have you ever felt completely drained, depleted and exhausted around a particular person, for no apparent reason?
An energy vampire is a person who feeds off your emotional, or psychic, energy. People who display energy vampire traits generally lack empathy, sensitivity, and emotional maturity. As a result of the pain or insecurity they feel inside, energy vampires are addicted to preying on the vitality of others as an attempt to heal their inner suffering.
An energy vampire could be anyone: a friend, a family member, a colleague, an acquaintance, a child, a son or daughter, or even a romantic partner. If you’re a highly empathetic and caring person, it’s also possible to actively attract energy vampires into your life. Unfortunately, if you’re a highly compassionate person who doesn’t know how to set boundaries, it’s very likely that you’re surrounded by energy vampires right now! Energy vampires are attracted to you because they unconsciously desire to resolve a deeper problem within their psyches — and they perceive YOU as the solution to their problems.
6 Energy Vampire Types
While it’s easy to feel resentful towards energy vampires, it’s important to remember that they haven’t developed the capacity to deal with their issues yet. Energy vampires prey on others because they are in pain. However, the important thing to remember is that you are NOT responsible for resolving their issues. THEY are responsible for sorting out their struggles.
Often, an energy vampire leaves us feeling so drained that we are incapable of taking care of ourselves. As a result of constantly interacting with an energy vampire, we might feel chronically fatigued, depressed, anxious, irritable or angry.
It’s vital that you learn how to “draw the line” and set boundaries around these types of people. Without learning how to identify the different types of energy vampires in your life, it will be difficult for you to practice self-nurturing and assertiveness.
Here are the six main energy vampire types out there:
1. The Victim or Martyr Vampire
Victim or Martyr Vampires prey off your guilt. Victims/Martyrs believe that they are “at mercy” of the world and suffer primarily due to other people. Instead of taking self-responsibility for their lives, Victim/Martyr Vampires continually blame, manipulate and emotionally blackmail others. The dysfunctional behavior of the Victim/Martyr Vampire is due to their extremely low self-esteem. Without always receiving signs of love, thanks, and approval, Victim/Martyr Vampires feel unworthy and unacceptable, which they try to resolve by making you feel guilty and sucking away your sympathy/empathy.
How to nurture your energy: When you’re around a Victim/Martyr Vampire, be aware of the self-pity cues. For example, a self-pity cue could be the person’s tendency to blame another person for their suffering, or perhaps a description of how terrible their day has been. Don’t get involved in their self-pity. Limit your interaction with them if possible.
2. The Narcissist Vampire
A Narcissist Energy Vampire has no capacity to show empathy, or genuine interest, towards other people. Narcissist Vampires carry the unconscious philosophy of “ME first, YOU second.” Therefore, Narcissist Vampires will constantly expect you to put them first, feed their egos and do what they say. Narcissist Vampires will also manipulate you with false charm, but will just as quickly turn around and stab you in the back. If you have a Narcissist Vampire in your life, you might feel a sense of extreme disempowerment as you feel crushed beneath their limelight.
How to nurture your energy: If you’re unable to cut this person off from your life right now, you might like to limit contact. You could also show the Narcissistic Vampire how your requests satisfy their self-interest, particularly if you’re in a working relationship.
3. The Dominator Vampire
Dominator Vampires love to feel superior and like “alpha” males or females. Due to their deep inner insecurities of being “weak” or “wrong” (and therefore hurt), Dominator Vampires must overcompensate by intimidating you. Often Dominator Vampires are loud-mouthed types of people who have rigid beliefs, and black and white perceptions of the world. They are often racist, sexist and/or bigoted.
How to nurture your energy: Agree to disagree. Practice assertiveness when necessary and limit your contact with Dominator Vampires. Realize that their attempt to scare you is sourced from their deep fear of being dominated and thus hurt.
4. The Melodramatic Vampire
The Melodramatic Energy Vampire thrives on creating problems. Often, their need to create constant drama is a product of dark underlying emptiness in their lives. Melodramatic Vampires also love seeking out crisis because it gives them a reason to feel victimized (thus special and in need of love), an exaggerated sense of self-importance and avoidance from life’s real issues. Another reason why Melodramatic Vampires enjoy creating drama is that the negative emotions that they feed off are addictive (such as anger).
How to nurture your energy: Refuse to take sides or be involved in the Melodramatic Vampire’s pot-stirring. Pay attention to the patterns in their behavior and the triggers that make you want to get involved. Create distance and cut them out of your life if possible.
5. The Judgemental Vampire
Due to their severely low self-worth, the Judgemental Energy Vampire loves to pick on other people. Their treatment of other people is merely a reflection of how they treat themselves. Judgemental Vampires enjoy preying on your insecurities and bolstering their egos by making you feel small, pathetic or ashamed.
How to nurture your energy: Remember that true self-worth must come from within. Refuse to take what the Judgemental Vampire says personally. Be aware of their deeper pain and their need to feel good about themselves. When you get defensive, you lose. Keep a balanced head, and try being sweet to them (that really throws them off balance!). Reduce, or cut off contact with them if possible.
6. The Innocent Vampire
Energy Vampires aren’t always malicious, as in the case of Innocent Vampires. Sometimes they can be helpless types of people who genuinely need help such as children or good friends who come to rely on you too much. It’s good that you help those you care about, but it’s also important that you encourage them to be self-sufficient. Playing the role of the constant “rock” or support will eventually erode away your energy. As a result, you’ll have little energy to support yourself.
How to nurture your energy: Helping those in need is a display of compassion and love, but you also need to remember to love yourself. Gently remind the Innocent Vampire in your life that you need time to yourself as well. Encourage them to develop strength, fortitude and resilience so that you can remove the role of constant caretaker or giver.
Developing the ability to create emotional freedom is an essential life skill. Without it, we can easily get bogged down in disempowering beliefs, fears, roles and duties that drain our life force.
What type of Energy Vampire has appeared the most in your life … and what did you do about it?
About the Author
Aletheia Luna is an influential psychospiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a spiritual counselor, diviner, and author, Luna’s mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance.
This article was originally published on Loner Wolf
Is someone or something draining your energy? Most of the time it’s someone whom you are either trying to please, or get approval from, or someone you’re trying to help. You may begin to notice that something changes in your energy field each time you are around this person, or that you feel an imbalance of some sort afterwards. When I say being around a person, this can mean exposure to them through meeting in person, texting, talking over the phone, and even energetically, or psychically.
Energy bullies and psychic vampires are very good sucking the life force right out of you. Unfortunately, you may not notice this is happening, until after the fact. However, once you realize what has happened, identifying it is the first step to proactive healing, regeneration, and protection from allowing it to happen again.
Let’s have a closer look at what is actually taking place during an energy drain. Suppose you have a friend who is always complaining about her life, or often has a negative outlook on every situation she is involved in. This could also be a family member you meet for coffee, or whom you chat with over the phone regularly. And dealing with this person leaves you always energetically drained, deflated or emotionally unsettled.
I’d like to preface this with the fact that we all have times where we need to vent, or reach out for help when we are struggling with something. On the other hand, we also have moments where we need to be the voice of reason for someone else, or have an open mind and heart to listen and truly be there for the people we love and care about. Listening is so important in relationships, but if only one person is talking and one person is listening, over and over again, it is a drain on the listener.
Toxic people attach themselves like cinder blocks tied to your ankles, and then invite you for a swim in their poisoned waters ~ John Mark Green
As you focus more closely on what is actually happening during an energy drain, you can see what you, yourself may be doing to attract this.
For example, are you afraid of what might happen if you do not appease this person? Do you fear alienating them by choosing to respect your own boundaries of well-being? There are a whole host of reasons why you may fear not to be liked by this person and this creates worry and stress, which can lead to an energetic drain of itself.
Look deeper within yourself. Once you have identified what it is that you’re afraid will happen, ask yourself if you’d rather be bound by that fear of something that has not actually happened, or would you rather be free? Much of the time you can imagine the worst and conjure up fears that only promote more energy going out to this person.
Furthermore, are you a problem solver? If so, and you can’t resolve this person’s problems, maybe their situations are not to be problem-solved by you, but rather by themselves. My teacher once said to me, “Be careful how much suffering you take away from someone, you could be robbing them of their own awakening.”
Maybe your friend or family member needs to take a look at themselves and their core beliefs, instead of trying to change things in the outer world. If this person refuses to take this advice, this could be a big red flag as to why you are feeling drained around them. No one else can really do this work for them and if they are not wanting to do it themselves, it’s a sign post for you to exit, stage left.
One of the more common energy drains, and definitely one of the more subtle or covert ways of robbing someone’s energy that I see often in psychic readings, is making other people’s issues your problem. For example, you meet someone on a romantic date and you really hit it off. You begin to develop trust and stirrings of love in your heart for them, and feel the beginning of a meaningful relationship. Then, all of a sudden, they stop texting, calling, or contacting you, with no apparent reason or explanation.
No matter how valuable you are and your ideas, fools will certainly play both of you down, so exclude yourselves from the inflammatory environs of fools ~ Michael Bassey Johnson
You spend the next days, weeks, sobbing, hurting, or wondering why this person disappeared? Way too much of your energy goes into trying to solve this mystery, or what you might have done wrong. Big red ‘stop sign’ right here! If someone has done this to you, it is so important to see this clearly. For whatever the reason, whether it’s that they found someone else in the meantime, or there was a quality in you that may not have liked, the fact that they didn’t have the respect or ability to communicate openly and honestly with you, is something they take with them, not something you should carry!
Not only is this kind of situation a great opportunity to engage in some self-love, but also a serious wake-up call to not carry other people’s garbage. When someone wrongs another, or is unkind without provocation, it’s a blatant sign that they have some inner healing work to do, and that their absence could be a blessing in disguise. Trust me, they will merely take this situation that happened with you and bring it into their next relationship. What we don’t resolve with one, we shall certainly resolve with another.
The people I’ve read for in psychic readings, who see and recognize this pattern in someone, usually no longer feel drawn to that person. Sometimes they even receive an apology or make-up call from that person, but the best outcomes are usually for those clients who choose to take back their power… and then meet the partner of their dreams. Energy is everything. Once you decide to take back your energy and let go of wanting to change someone else, the sweet taste of freedom is yours and you can put your creative energy back to good use, by manifesting and attracting positive people into your life, who are as strong as you and has integrity.
Apart from energy thieves, psychic bullies can also be a problem for some. A psychic bully is usually someone who is jealous of you, or wants something you have. You may not even have met them in person. Maybe it’s just someone you see on social media and you get a bad feeling when you look at their picture.
Fortunately, psychic bullies have no power in the face of compassion and unconditional love. So, put on your psychic cap and look deeply into that person’s eyes. You will be able to see their pain and all of their baggage they carry. See them through the eyes of their mother, or the Great Mother, and from your heart. Whatever anger or fear you felt for them earlier seems to just fade away like smoke into the air.
At this point, send them love and close out this chapter of your story you had going on about them. Decide from here forward that whenever you feel hurt by them, attacked or whatever, bring your focus back to your own heart and mind. Merge with your inner goddess or god self, and feel the love and gratitude for simply being you. Thank yourself for being the strong, wise, and compassionate soul that you are, and give yourself a pat on the back for showing up so bravely in this life and for taking the fearless steps forward on your path to becoming the person you were born to be.
Known as The Psychic’s Psychic, since 1998, Isadora has read for thousands all over the world, her impressive list including clients from the Obama administration, Fortune 500 CEO’s and notable names in Hollywood. Her detailed (Gemini) accuracy is nothing short of astounding, with her ability to see people at the Soul Level and clearly answer questions on a wide range of subjects, from relationship matters, business decisions, to past lives, etc.—anything that requires clear answers and pin-point insight. She has the ability to identify hidden patterns that run beneath your current situation, providing you with information to positively change your future. If you’d like a reading with this compassionate, straight forward, laser-accurate and dedicated Psychic, you can find Isadora at PsychicAccess.com.
Knowing how to efficiently and quickly protect yourself from energy vampires comes handy for all of us at some point or another. Each day we have a certain amount of energy to go by. When we feel out of balance and tired, then we become more stressed and even sick. We also lack energy in our daily lives as well as energy for loved ones.
Who is an energy vampire?
An energy vampire is someone who has long-term low energy and therefore they need to replenish the energy from someone else. Most of the times, they do it unconsciously and unintentionally. You might be energy vampire to someone you know without even realizing.
The important thing to keep in mind about energies is that we always pay back whatever we take. It’s also true the other way around; we receive a “positive interest in our energy investment” when we uplift someone.
How to read other people’s energies?
Think of someone you love and who is usually positive and kind. How do you feel when you’re in their presence? Light? Happy? Energetic?
Positive people have a gift to uplift others naturally. They help you feel better when you lose hope, and they inspire you when you want to give up. In this case, they give you energy from the place of energy abundance. The “giving” is more like sharing and extending positive energy than giving and lacking it afterward.
Now think of someone who is complaining and always negative. How do you feel when you interact with them? Not so well?
The feeling of unwell in their presence warns you that something is off and their energy has a negative impact on you. They’re lowering your own energy levels and trying to steal energy from you.
The moment you emotionally react to energy vampires, they begin stealing your energy.
Who are energy vampires in your life?
>> It’s your best friend who MOST OF THE TIME talks about her difficult life and problems. She doesn’t care about you much, the only thing that she wants is you to feel sorry for her and try to uplift her (giving her energy). If you don’t do it, she accuses you of being selfish and not sympathizing with her suffering. She might even stop talking with you entirely if she sees that you don’t energetically invest her drama. Just to be clear, I don’t speak here about situations when your friend is going through difficult times, and she needs you to support her – sometimes it’s alright, and it’s human. But what I refer to is if she is continuously down and she doesn’t seek real help, but she wants to complain about her situation.
>> It’s a boss who pushes you to the limits and minds if you speak up. He wants your energy and obedience so he can do with you whatever he likes. If you speak up, he gets upset and makes hard times for you in the company. At the moment when you speak up, you refuse to give your energy to him, he – as an energy vampire – needs to find another source of energy instead of you.
>> It’s a partner who manipulates you always to do what they want. Instead of supporting your dreams, they push you down. When you need to hear that you’re beautiful, he tells you that you have terrible lipstick. When she wants to “secure” a relationship with you, she gets pregnant. When you want to change your life, they tell you that it doesn’t make sense and it will not work out.
>> It’s a drama queen who always needs attention. She – but it can also be him – enhance even the smallest things to extremes. She wants you to react and be emotional because only then you give her your energy. These people like to argue just for the sake of arguing. It doesn’t matter so much what the topic is.
>> It’s a victim who always feels like the whole world is against them. These people take everything personally. It doesn’t matter to them why people did something; they feel like it was directed against them. They can give you 1000 reasons why they have it harder than you and why they cannot change it. All of us has been at some point in the position of a victim (it’s one of the four archetypes that we all share as Caroline Myss talks about) but if we stay feeling like victims, we deprive ourselves of power to change it.
I could continue for a very long time, but I want you to get the main idea of who the energy vampire is. It’s a very real thing, and we all encounter them often. Therefore it’s vital to understand the dynamics between you and the energy vampire.
I used to need ample time to recuperate after being social.
I would often feel more depleted after being around people than I was beforehand. Yet, I knew myself to be quite the extrovert—so this puzzled me.
“Aren’t I supposed to get energy from being around people, not lose it?”
What I didn’t realize at the time was that, because I have been equipped with so many internal resources (like the ability to choose gratitude in every situation or the ability to choose how I act regardless of circumstances), my inner abundance was attracting what are known as “energy vampires.”
Energy vampires are people who take from you without consent or reciprocation. They leave you feeling drained. They suck your psychic, mental, or spiritual energy.
I have since come to understand that it wasn’t just my abundance that was attracting energy vampires—but also my feeling guilty for having this abundance and, in turn, feeling obligated to share it with those around me.
Because of this, I had weak energetic boundaries and was allowing others to “leech” all of my excess reserves so that I didn’t have to feel guilty about having so much of it.
Much of the advice that I have heard pertaining to energy vampires is of the nature of “cut those people out!”
And while this may be a helpful and sometimes necessary step, I’ve realized doing that alone is insufficient.
We also need to take a good look at why we are attracting these people into our lives.
There are ample people with inward abundance out there who are not attracting energy vampires. Why? Because they have no need for them.
So, we must ask ourselves, what need are energy vampires filling for our egos?
Are they making us feel validated because we are needed? Are they conveniently distracting us from our true purpose and allowing us to avoid responsibility for owning our power?
The truth is, we are not doing anyone a service by allowing them to leech our energy. We are reinforcing their beliefs that they are too weak to provide for themselves and we are not giving them feedback that could actually make a difference in their lives.
A true friend encourages and supports others to meet their own needs and they set boundaries so that they don’t end up resentful.
And if the energy vampire in our life is not important enough that we would be willing to have that conversation, then we need to be real with ourselves about that too.
We need to be honest with ourselves about why we are keeping people in our lives who we resent.
So, we need to get off of our high horses, get clear about what hidden payoff our egos are getting from being a source of nourishment for energy vampires, and we need to take action accordingly.
In this video, I will coach you on:
- How to identify why you attract energy vampires into your life—what might your ego be getting out of it?
- How to stop attracting them.
- How to seal off your energetic boundaries.
- How to avoid being an energy vampire yourself.
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The human body generates an electromagnetic field. When that field is easily disrupted, it can manifest in many ways including being ‘sensitive’ to people and environments. You might recognize the feelings of being a sensitive soul. Being around a certain someone puts you in a bad mood. Having to go into a crowded party overwhelms you. When someone isn’t happy with you, you feel as if you’re being physically attacked.
Being energetically sensitive means that you’re picking up on and absorbing negative energy from those around you. You’re not just moody! Great news, right?
Having a strong and balanced energy system is the best way I’ve learned to stay protected from energy vampires. Do this daily and you’ll have a little routine that will help strengthen your system so you can be anywhere, at any time, and feel calm and confident.
Rule #1: Balance
Make sure your energy system is strong and balanced. There are many ways to do this but one of my favorites is the “thymus thump.” Thumping a gland in the center of your chest, called the thymus gland, gives you an immune system boost and is also effective for calming fear and balancing your entire system quickly. Simply use your fist and “thump” like Tarzan for about 30 seconds and some big deep breaths.
Rule #2: Ground
Ground your energy. The more grounded, or connected to the earth’s energies you are, the less shaken you’ll be by your environment. A great way to “ground” is by literally pulling your energy down through your feet.
Place your hands at the sides of your waist. With your thumb in the front and fingers toward the back, slide your hands slowly and firmly down your legs. When you get to your feet, squeeze at the sides of your feet. Doing this on grass, dirt, or sand makes it even more powerful.
Rule #3: Protect
By tracing your central meridian, an energy pathway running up the front of your body, also highly attuned to thoughts and emotions, you are able to strengthen it.
Place your hands at the bottom end of the central meridian, which is at your pubic bone. Inhale deeply as you simultaneously pull your hands straight up the center of your body, to your lower lip. Repeat three times. With the electromagnetic force of your hands, you are literally moving the energy in the meridian in the direction of its strength and in turn, the meridian is strengthening you. While doing this exercise, you can also add an affirmation such as “I am safe and protected”.
Breathe! Breathing allows energy movement in your body. If you hold your breath in crowds or around difficult people, you are actually preventing any negative energy from movinʼ right through you.
Cross your arms/legs when feeling energetically vulnerable. This actually protects your aura and creates an energetic shield. Negative energy being directed at you will tend to bounce off of you and return to the sender.
Pick your location wisely. Stand by a window or door in crowds and avoid sitting at the front of a class or room where people direct their energy toward you.
Black tourmaline, a crystal that can be purchased for just a couple of dollars, is an excellent negative energy absorber. Put it in your pocket, purse, or just keep it close by when feeling vulnerable.
Now you have lots of minute-or-less tools to keep you balanced, grounded, and protected. Just don’t forget, they only work if you use them.
Ahhh, doesn’t that feel better already?
What tools do you use to protect yourself from energy vampires? You can share your insights by joining the conversation in the comment section below.
This article was written by Amy B. Scher. Amy is an expert in mind-body-spirit healing and is often lovingly referred to as an “accidental guru.” She is the bestselling author of This Is How I Save My Life (January 2013) and has been featured in publications such as CNN, Curve magazine, Divine Caroline, and was named one of Advocate’s “40 Under 40″ for 2013. Most importantly, she lives by the self-created motto: “When life kicks your ass, kick back.”
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When we think of vampires we usually think of the fairy tale bloodsuckers, but the kind of vampire I am talking about is associated with energy and they are all around us!
Energy vampires are energy suckers that feed off of our energy and sense our life force.
When this happens you will usually have to deal with something called a psychic attack, which can brink about misery in more ways than you could ever imagine!
There are two main kinds of ‘energy vampires’; physical and non-physical.
Physical Energy Vampires
Some people are not able to continue on in this life without taking energy from those around them whether they know it or not.
They often have emotional or mental issues that drain them causing them to feed off of the energy of others.
An energetic part inside of this person attaches itself to you, and sets up the whole thing. This could be any person in your life a coworker, friend, family member, ETC.
Non-Physical Energy Vampires
These types of vampires often go undetected and enter our lives with ease. They are opportunists who will attach to energy siphons that another human is using.
They hit the hardest when you deal with something like trauma, injuries, addiction, and even extreme fear.
If you think you may be the victim of some sort of energy vampire you need to stop the following to cut them off.
When you are doing the things listed below you are allowing these vampires to absorb all of your energy, leaving you with almost nothing. Letting these vampires deplete you will be detrimental in the long run.
1. Stop trying to fit in.
When you shrink yourself to fit into a group you are allowing yourself to be walked on. You never need to be less than what you truly are for sake of being accepted.
2. Stop talking to people who talk at you instead of to you.
People who leave you feeling drained after phone calls or in person visits should not be apart of your life.
3. Stop letting people make you feel guilty for not living up to their expectations.
JUST BE YOURSELF, YOU ARE ENOUGH!
4. Stop letting other people walk all over you.
Doing the things other people want you to, even when you don’t want to is not right. You should never let people manipulate you into doing things for the wrong reasons.
5. Stop having meaningless sex.
You should be sleeping with someone who loves you as you do them, not someone who you know is using you. Meaningful sex is the best sex.
6. Stop staying in toxic relationships because they are familiar.
7. Stop staying in abusive situations.
Remember that in all of this you could also be stealing someone’s energy to combat the loss of your own.
If you want to make sure you are not stealing the energy of others maintain a good sense of self-love and do not let your inner strength die off.
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You have probably heard the old cliché, “The best defense is a good offense.”
In the case of dealing with an energy vampire, this is certainly true. And, the first thing you have to do is admit that there’s a problem.
It’s often hard for empaths to accept that there are people who aren’t filled with love and light. The truth is, there really are predators out there who lack character, empathy, and compassion. The sooner you accept this, the safer and happier you’ll be.
In this live MasterClass, Dr. Northrup will take your questions and discuss topics related to her new book Dodging Energy Vampires including how to:
ASSESSING YOUR RELATIONSHIPS
In order to determine if you are in a relationship with an energy vampire, you need to know how to correctly assess the character of others and yourself. You must recognize and correctly identify their manipulative tactics. You also need to be highly aware of the aspects of your own character that make you vulnerable to manipulation because the most powerful leverage a vampire has is the character of the victim. Energy vampires know how empaths will likely respond to their tactics. So, the more you know yourself and your own vulnerabilities (which may be strengths in all other areas of life except with a vampire) the less power energy vampires will have.
In addition to the super traits of conscientiousness, loyalty, and the patience of a saint, expert Sandra Brown, M.A. has identified a number of character styles that make women more vulnerable to manipulation. While Brown’s research and work have focused solely on women, these same traits make men similarly vulnerable.
Self-assessment – how many of these apply to you?
1.Extroversion and excitement seeking: Do you find that you often get into relationships with people who are extroverted and exciting? Does the idea of being in a “comfortable” relationship seem boring to you?
2. Relationship investment: Do you give great emotional, spiritual, physical, and financial investments to all your relationships—not just your intimate ones? Do you often feel as if you are giving 80 percent while the other people give only 20 percent?
3. Attachment: Do you have the capacity for deep emotional bonds? Do you form powerful bonds with people quickly? Do you form bonds that make you feel beholden or desirous to do anything asked by the other people in your relationships?
4. Competitiveness: Are you unlikely to run out on relationships? Do you stand your ground and fight for relationships to continue? (Keep in mind, we’re not talking about codependence here.)
5. Low harm avoidance: Do you assume that you will not get hurt? Do you see others as you see yourself and assume that they feel the same way?
6. Cooperation: Are you the can-do person who rolls up your sleeves enthusiastically when there’s a task to be done? With humor and enthusiasm? Are you apt to volunteer to help out? Do you tend to uplift every group you’re in?
7. Hyperempathy: Can you literally feel the feelings of others? Do you cry easily at movies, sad books, Hallmark television ads? Do you work in the healing professions?
8. Responsibility and resourcefulness: Are you the go-to person in your family or at work? The one who holds the “tribal memory” of the place—the person who remembers where the old contracts are kept and what the minutes of the meeting from two years ago said? Do you often end up in leadership roles at work or at home?
9. Self-directed: Are you a self-starter who works well without supervision? Are you highly motivated to learn new things, figure systems out, and solve problems?
10. Overachieving: Have you ever been called an overachiever? Do you find that you usually work harder than others and have a hard time resting and taking care of yourself? Psychologist Dr. George Simon, Jr., has also identified similar qualities that can become vulnerabilities in people at risk for manipulation:
11. Naïveté: Do you simply believe that people can’t possibly be as cunning, devious, and evil as your gut tells you they are? Do you assume that everyone is working toward the good of others?
12. Conscientiousness: Are you harder on yourself than anyone else? Do you give the manipulator the benefit of the doubt when he hurts you? Are you too willing to blame yourself when the vampire goes on the attack?
13. Low self-esteem and low self-confidence: Do you doubt that your needs and desires are legitimate? Do you have what it takes to face conflicts directly and effectively? Do you back down at the first sign of conflict and concede to the other? Are you easily manipulated by guilt and shame?
14. Intellectualization: Do you always try to understand and explain the behavior of others rationally and logically? And make the mistake of believing that there must be a reason why the manipulator is acting like he is? Do you get so wrapped up in trying to understand others’ points of view that you forget yourself? Do you have trouble accepting the fact that there are people in this world who fight too much and fight underhandedly just to get what they want?
Look at Yourself
Take a bit of time right now to think about the people in your life and your own character. Put on some soft music, light a candle, and let your mind wander.
Go down the list and ask yourself if you can relate to any of the characteristics mentioned above. Answer the questions above as honestly as you can.
Consider this scenario: you meet someone, a friend, a colleague, a parent, an acquaintance or your romantic partner. After meeting them for a short while, you feel exhausted, like your energy is draining and you are reaching your higher end of you emotional capacity.
These are the kind of people known as “energy vampires”.
You know how a vampire feeds off your blood? Well, these people feed on your emotional or psychic energy! Does it make sense why you feel so fatigued or depressed after a short interaction with certain people?
Are you thinking why would someone be so toxic to us? Well, it is not that they enjoy consuming our energy. It is just that they have certain unresolved, inner issues of their own and they believe depleting you will find them a solution – which is, obviously, not the case!
Being the compassionate, empathetic and highly benevolent person that you are, you automatically become a magnet to these kinds of people. Yes, you may resent them for straining you but you need to understand they can’t really help it. These energy vampires are simply finding a way to resolve their inner conflict. But since they can be detrimental to your own well-being, you need to know when to draw the line.
Knowing which kind you meet will help deal with them. Here are the 6 kinds of energy vampires you will possibly meet in your life:
1. The Victim or Martyr Type
These kind of vampires feed on your guilt. They are low on self-esteem and, without constant social approval and likability, they feel unworthy and unacceptable, which they then try resolving by siphoning your energy. The Victims/Martyrs are habitual of blaming others for their sufferings.
How to restore your energy: Look for the self-pity cues, for example, when they start telling how horrible their day was, and do not fall prey. You need to limit your interaction with these people.
2. The Narcissist Vampire
Here’s a gist of what goes in the unconscious mind of a narcissist vampire: “Me first, you second”. It is exactly how they will make you feel as well, constantly trying to get you to feed their egos by putting themselves first. Narcissist vampires do not carry empathy nor do they have genuine interest in you. It is all about them and you are likely to feel disempowered around them.
How to restore your energy: Try cutting them off and, if it isn’t possible, have restricted contact. Also, if it’s a work environment, try showing them how your requests satisfy their self-interest.
3. The Dominator Vampire
On the inside, they are very insecure and weak. It is why they compensate for these feelings of inferiority by intimidating you and dominating you. They see the world in black and white, have rigid beliefs and display characteristics of an alpha male or female.
How to restore your energy: Agree to disagree. You need to realize they dominate because they fear being dominated. So, you practice assertiveness whenever limiting contact with them is out of option.
4. The Melodramatic Vampire
One phrase suffices describing these kinds of people: drama queens! They look for reasons to create fuss in an attempt to escape their dark, underlying emptiness. These dramas make them feel victimized, attracting love and attention. Plus, the negative emotions they feed off are addictive!
How to restore your energy: Say ‘no’ to siding when they are staging a drama. Attend to the triggers that make you want to get involved and be vigilant! Distance yourself.
5. The Judgmental Vampire
You know how certain people have a tendency to project their shortcomings onto others? It is exactly what Judgmental vampires do. They pick on others in order to make themselves feel better. Making you feel small and pathetic boosts their ego.
How to restore your energy: You need to keep in mind that their comments about you are reflection of what they feel about themselves and that true self-worth comes from within. Do not take them personally and be nice to them – it really puts them off!
6. The Innocent Vampire
Not every vampire is malicious. They are people who genuinely need help, such as a child or a good friend of yours. These people come to rely on you for everything and, as a result, they never grow self-sufficient. Yes, it is a good thing to help others out but they become too dependent which can leave little room for your own grooming.
How to restore your energy: Being compassionate is a virtue but you need to draw the line. Be there for the Innocent Vampire but remind them you need time for yourself as well. Help them build strength and grow independent and resilient.
Featured Image Source: Evgeny Atamanenko @ 123RF.com
by Conscious Reminder
There might be times when you feel drained, exhausted, bored, anxious, threatened, over-whelmed or depressed after spending some time with a particular person, i.e. the very company of the person makes you feel sick inside out.
Also, you might feel guilty of thinking negatively about that person, however, if you encounter one around you then make yourself strong enough to spot him or her as an energy vampire.
Energy vampires are people who drain your energy. They can be anyone around you- your colleagues, family members, friends, classmates or even someone you have encounter with chance.
This term has been mooted by a Hindu priest who is also an entrepreneur, former monk and an international speaker- Dandapani. He categorizes the energy vampires into two types.
First, who are temporary, i.e. those people who suck out the energy within you for a short period of time as they might have been facing hard times themselves presently. They might have been going through divorce or some family spats, loss of loved ones or jobs, etc.
Second, those who are inherent energy vampires. They are the ones who are always like this. They do not look for any changes in their attitude or personality. It is very easy to spot this kind as the moment you walk away from them you start to feel negative.
Some common features of energy vampires are as follow:
1. They either victimize themselves or blame external factors for shortcomings of their lives. They try to make others feel guilty for the troubles they face rather than taking responsibilities themselves.
2. They always try to acquire the position of attention in a meeting. Being the centre of attention is their ultimate goal in any gathering they attend.
3. This brings their narcissist attitude. Everything in the world is about them. For them others are just the insignificant ones.
4. They are inherently either drama queens or kings. They love to indulge into drama every now and then.
Thus, now you know how to spot one and deal with them. The best way is to avoid them as much as you can. However, it is very challenging as they can be your friends, family members or your colleagues whom you have to face every day right from the morning.
If you want to save your limited energy for a prolific day, start ignoring them nonetheless.
Video courtesy of Goalcast
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