These 6 Types of Energy Vampires Will Emotionally Drain Your Energy To The Last Drop

Consider this scenario: you meet someone, a friend, a colleague, a parent, an acquaintance or your romantic partner. After meeting them for a short while, you feel exhausted, like your energy is draining and you are reaching your higher end of you emotional capacity.

These are the kind of people known as “energy vampires”.

You know how a vampire feeds off your blood? Well, these people feed on your emotional or psychic energy! Does it make sense why you feel so fatigued or depressed after a short interaction with certain people?

Are you thinking why would someone be so toxic to us? Well, it is not that they enjoy consuming our energy. It is just that they have certain unresolved, inner issues of their own and they believe depleting you will find them a solution – which is, obviously, not the case!

Being the compassionate, empathetic and highly benevolent person that you are, you automatically become a magnet to these kinds of people. Yes, you may resent them for straining you but you need to understand they can’t really help it. These energy vampires are simply finding a way to resolve their inner conflict. But since they can be detrimental to your own well-being, you need to know when to draw the line.

Knowing which kind you meet will help deal with them. Here are the 6 kinds of energy vampires you will possibly meet in your life:

1. The Victim or Martyr Type

These kind of vampires feed on your guilt. They are low on self-esteem and, without constant social approval and likability, they feel unworthy and unacceptable, which they then try resolving by siphoning your energy. The Victims/Martyrs are habitual of blaming others for their sufferings.

How to restore your energy: Look for the self-pity cues, for example, when they start telling how horrible their day was, and do not fall prey. You need to limit your interaction with these people.

2. The Narcissist Vampire

Here’s a gist of what goes in the unconscious mind of a narcissist vampire: “Me first, you second”. It is exactly how they will make you feel as well, constantly trying to get you to feed their egos by putting themselves first. Narcissist vampires do not carry empathy nor do they have genuine interest in you. It is all about them and you are likely to feel disempowered around them.

How to restore your energy: Try cutting them off and, if it isn’t possible, have restricted contact. Also, if it’s a work environment, try showing them how your requests satisfy their self-interest.

3. The Dominator Vampire

On the inside, they are very insecure and weak. It is why they compensate for these feelings of inferiority by intimidating you and dominating you. They see the world in black and white, have rigid beliefs and display characteristics of an alpha male or female. 

How to restore your energy: Agree to disagree. You need to realize they dominate because they fear being dominated. So, you practice assertiveness whenever limiting contact with them is out of option.

4. The Melodramatic Vampire

One phrase suffices describing these kinds of people: drama queens! They look for reasons to create fuss in an attempt to escape their dark, underlying emptiness. These dramas make them feel victimized, attracting love and attention. Plus, the negative emotions they feed off are addictive!

How to restore your energy: Say ‘no’ to siding when they are staging a drama. Attend to the triggers that make you want to get involved and be vigilant! Distance yourself.

5. The Judgmental Vampire

You know how certain people have a tendency to project their shortcomings onto others? It is exactly what Judgmental vampires do. They pick on others in order to make themselves feel better. Making you feel small and pathetic boosts their ego.

How to restore your energy: You need to keep in mind that their comments about you are reflection of what they feel about themselves and that true self-worth comes from within. Do not take them personally and be nice to them – it really puts them off!

6. The Innocent Vampire

Not every vampire is malicious. They are people who genuinely need help, such as a child or a good friend of yours. These people come to rely on you for everything and, as a result, they never grow self-sufficient. Yes, it is a good thing to help others out but they become too dependent which can leave little room for your own grooming.

How to restore your energy: Being compassionate is a virtue but you need to draw the line. Be there for the Innocent Vampire but remind them you need time for yourself as well. Help them build strength and grow independent and resilient.

Featured Image Source: Evgeny Atamanenko @

The Coolest Monk In The World Explains How To Spot & Manage Energy Vampires

by Conscious Reminder 

There might be times when you feel drained, exhausted, bored, anxious, threatened, over-whelmed or depressed after spending some time with a particular person, i.e. the very company of the person makes you feel sick inside out.

Also, you might feel guilty of thinking negatively about that person, however, if you encounter one around you then make yourself strong enough to spot him or her as an energy vampire.

Energy vampires are people who drain your energy. They can be anyone around you- your colleagues, family members, friends, classmates or even someone you have encounter with chance.

This term has been mooted by a Hindu priest who is also an entrepreneur, former monk and an international speaker- Dandapani. He categorizes the energy vampires into two types.

First, who are temporary, i.e. those people who suck out the energy within you for a short period of time as they might have been facing hard times themselves presently. They might have been going through divorce or some family spats, loss of loved ones or jobs, etc.

Second, those who are inherent energy vampires. They are the ones who are always like this. They do not look for any changes in their attitude or personality. It is very easy to spot this kind as the moment you walk away from them you start to feel negative.

Some common features of energy vampires are as follow:

1. They either victimize themselves or blame external factors for shortcomings of their lives. They try to make others feel guilty for the troubles they face rather than taking responsibilities themselves.

2. They always try to acquire the position of attention in a meeting. Being the centre of attention is their ultimate goal in any gathering they attend.

3. This brings their narcissist attitude. Everything in the world is about them. For them others are just the insignificant ones.

4. They are inherently either drama queens or kings. They love to indulge into drama every now and then.

Thus, now you know how to spot one and deal with them. The best way is to avoid them as much as you can. However, it is very challenging as they can be your friends, family members or your colleagues whom you have to face every day right from the morning.

If you want to save your limited energy for a prolific day, start ignoring them nonetheless.

Video courtesy of Goalcast

∼If you like our article, give Conscious Reminder a thumbs up, and help us spread LOVE & LIGHT!∼

The post The Coolest Monk In The World Explains How To Spot & Manage Energy Vampires appeared first on Conscious Reminder.

6 Types of Energy Vampires That Emotionally Exhaust You ⋆ SHIFT

Have you ever felt completely drained, depleted and exhausted around a particular person, for no apparent reason?

An energy vampire is a person who feeds off your emotional, or psychic, energy. People who display energy vampire traits generally lack empathy, sensitivity, and emotional maturity. As a result of the pain or insecurity they feel inside, energy vampires are addicted to preying on the vitality of others as an attempt to heal their inner suffering.

An energy vampire could be anyone: a friend, a family member, a colleague, an acquaintance, a child, a son or daughter, or even a romantic partner. If you’re a highly empathetic and caring person, it’s also possible to actively attract energy vampires into your life. Unfortunately, if you’re a highly compassionate person who doesn’t know how to set boundaries, it’s very likely that you’re surrounded by energy vampires right now! Energy vampires are attracted to you because they unconsciously desire to resolve a deeper problem within their psyches — and they perceive YOU as the solution to their problems.

6 Energy Vampire Types

While it’s easy to feel resentful towards energy vampires, it’s important to remember that they haven’t developed the capacity to deal with their issues yet. Energy vampires prey on others because they are in pain. However, the important thing to remember is that you are NOT responsible for resolving their issues. THEY are responsible for sorting out their struggles.

Often, an energy vampire leaves us feeling so drained that we are incapable of taking care of ourselves. As a result of constantly interacting with an energy vampire, we might feel chronically fatigued, depressed, anxious, irritable or angry.

It’s vital that you learn how to “draw the line” and set boundaries around these types of people. Without learning how to identify the different types of energy vampires in your life, it will be difficult for you to practice self-nurturing and assertiveness.

Here are the six main energy vampire types out there:

1. The Victim or Martyr Vampire

Victim or Martyr Vampires prey off your guilt. Victims/Martyrs believe that they are “at mercy” of the world and suffer primarily due to other people. Instead of taking self-responsibility for their lives, Victim/Martyr Vampires continually blame, manipulate and emotionally blackmail others. The dysfunctional behavior of the Victim/Martyr Vampire is due to their extremely low self-esteem. Without always receiving signs of love, thanks, and approval, Victim/Martyr Vampires feel unworthy and unacceptable, which they try to resolve by making you feel guilty and sucking away your sympathy/empathy.

How to nurture your energy: When you’re around a Victim/Martyr Vampire, be aware of the self-pity cues. For example, a self-pity cue could be the person’s tendency to blame another person for their suffering, or perhaps a description of how terrible their day has been. Don’t get involved in their self-pity. Limit your interaction with them if possible.

2. The Narcissist Vampire

A Narcissist Energy Vampire has no capacity to show empathy, or genuine interest, towards other people. Narcissist Vampires carry the unconscious philosophy of “ME first, YOU second.” Therefore, Narcissist Vampires will constantly expect you to put them first, feed their egos and do what they say. Narcissist Vampires will also manipulate you with false charm, but will just as quickly turn around and stab you in the back. If you have a Narcissist Vampire in your life, you might feel a sense of extreme disempowerment as you feel crushed beneath their limelight.

How to nurture your energy: If you’re unable to cut this person off from your life right now, you might like to limit contact. You could also show the Narcissistic Vampire how your requests satisfy their self-interest, particularly if you’re in a working relationship.

3. The Dominator Vampire

Dominator Vampires love to feel superior and like “alpha” males or females. Due to their deep inner insecurities of being “weak” or “wrong” (and therefore hurt), Dominator Vampires must overcompensate by intimidating you. Often Dominator Vampires are loud-mouthed types of people who have rigid beliefs, and black and white perceptions of the world. They are often racist, sexist and/or bigoted.

How to nurture your energy: Agree to disagree. Practice assertiveness when necessary and limit your contact with Dominator Vampires. Realize that their attempt to scare you is sourced from their deep fear of being dominated and thus hurt.

4. The Melodramatic Vampire

The Melodramatic Energy Vampire thrives on creating problems. Often, their need to create constant drama is a product of dark underlying emptiness in their lives. Melodramatic Vampires also love seeking out crisis because it gives them a reason to feel victimized (thus special and in need of love), an exaggerated sense of self-importance and avoidance from life’s real issues. Another reason why Melodramatic Vampires enjoy creating drama is that the negative emotions that they feed off are addictive (such as anger).

How to nurture your energy: Refuse to take sides or be involved in the Melodramatic Vampire’s pot-stirring. Pay attention to the patterns in their behavior and the triggers that make you want to get involved. Create distance and cut them out of your life if possible.

5. The Judgemental Vampire

Due to their severely low self-worth, the Judgemental Energy Vampire loves to pick on other people. Their treatment of other people is merely a reflection of how they treat themselves. Judgemental Vampires enjoy preying on your insecurities and bolstering their egos by making you feel small, pathetic or ashamed.

How to nurture your energy: Remember that true self-worth must come from within. Refuse to take what the Judgemental Vampire says personally. Be aware of their deeper pain and their need to feel good about themselves. When you get defensive, you lose. Keep a balanced head, and try being sweet to them (that really throws them off balance!). Reduce, or cut off contact with them if possible.

6. The Innocent Vampire

Energy Vampires aren’t always malicious, as in the case of Innocent Vampires. Sometimes they can be helpless types of people who genuinely need help such as children or good friends who come to rely on you too much. It’s good that you help those you care about, but it’s also important that you encourage them to be self-sufficient. Playing the role of the constant “rock” or support will eventually erode away your energy. As a result, you’ll have little energy to support yourself.

How to nurture your energy: Helping those in need is a display of compassion and love, but you also need to remember to love yourself. Gently remind the Innocent Vampire in your life that you need time to yourself as well. Encourage them to develop strength, fortitude and resilience so that you can remove the role of constant caretaker or giver.

Developing the ability to create emotional freedom is an essential life skill. Without it, we can easily get bogged down in disempowering beliefs, fears, roles and duties that drain our life force.

What type of Energy Vampire has appeared the most in your life … and what did you do about it?

About the Author

Aletheia Luna is an influential psychospiritual writer whose work has changed the lives of thousands of people worldwide. After escaping the religious sect she was raised in, Luna experienced a profound existential crisis that led to her spiritual awakening. As a spiritual counselor, diviner, and author, Luna’s mission is to help others become conscious of their entrapment and find joy, empowerment, and liberation in any circumstance.

This article has been republished from Lonerwolf.

The Real Reason why Empaths Attract Energy Vampires – Heal YourSelf by Nourishing Your Mind, Body & Spirit

Not sure if you are an empath? Check out my previous post on 30 signs you are an empathy, here.

So let’s just get right into it?!

No sugar coating anything, just me being brutally honest, not just with you but with myself!

So why is it us empaths sometimes seem to attract energy vampires, people who drain us, so much that we need to take time off socializing to recover?!!

It’s quite simple actually! – it is because we LACK SELF-WORTH!

What? but How? does that attract energy vampires…

Firstly, if you 100% believe you have self-love, self-worth & have no issues with self-esteem, then this post might not be for you.

But if you do struggle with the above, keep reading!

For a long time I hated the word empath, I thought it was a word a lot of people seem to use lately an excuse… & I am right! Being empathic, should be something you are in charge of and not something that drains you. What I realized is that we are all empath. Every single one of us, however, some of us choose to allow that  skill to work against us instead of for us. In this post we will focus on energy vampires.

In case you do not know what I mean by energy vampires?

In simple, term it is someone who feeds of the life force of another person. Unfortunately not all are evil & intentional, I say unfortunately cause it goes uncover & we fail to realize what’s going on & why we feel drained when we are around people we like, friends, or even family. An excellent example of energy vampires is a narcissists, I’ve wrote a blog post on this & why empaths attract narcissists, so check it out here.

So how is it, that our low self-esteem attracts energy vampires to us.

The truth is, energy vampires often are nothing but a mirror to our own self-worth.

When we come from a place of low self-worth, when we lack self-love, when we have insecurities, feel victims or powerless we open up the door to energy vampires. Not to mention, co-dependency, seeking approval & validation from others.

Do you feel good about yourself when you help others?

Does that give you a sense of purpose?

Does that give you a sense of being worthy or loved?

Are these techniques you use to make yourself feel good about yourself, instead of working on your own self-love & beliefs…

Truth is many people fall for this trap unconsciously & are doing nothing but attracting energy vampires by not looking within & filling their own cup 1st!

Reality is, if you were vibrating at a higher frequency you will NOT be attracting energy vampires to your life, maybe every now & then but you will pick up on it immediately. But if you are someone who is falling for is and always wonder why people seem to take & take & all you do it give & give, is because you allowed them to.

For you to have attracted an energy vampire, you must have been at the same level as them – fact!

But it’s okay, once you realize this, you gain power & now it is all in your hands to decide what to do with it.

No protection technique is going to help or save you here unless, you acknowledge the truth & work on yourself & your self-esteem. This won’t take a day or week, you will have to work on this for a while but awareness is KEY & the first step for you to put an end to this.

Below are some suggestions I think will help:

Like I said, energy vampires are at a low vibration & for us to pick up on each other we must be on the same vibration. So start by setting yourself boundaries, learn how to say NO, learn to be assertive, make sure you are looking after yourself before you try and help someone else.

Start doing things you love, pick a hobby, spend some time doing something that makes you happy if not everyday at least once a week. This will raise you vibration by putting you in a good state, make you happy, work you solar plexus by using your creativity, which is in charge of our power & self-esteem.

Realize that NO ONE! Can ever take your power, energy, or drain you unless you have allowed them. So if this ever happens again, you know you need to stop & take whats yours back.

these are my top 3 tips, we can go on and one but I want to avoid repeating myself, so do check out my other posts on:

Hope you enjoyed this post & don’t hate me! 😉

Also do check out & support me on my Channel:

How to Get Rid of Your Energy Vampires?

There are just so many things in this life that can drain you of energy, so many people as well. What can you do about it? How can you get rid of these energy vampires?

How to Get Rid of Your Energy Vampires?

Energy vampires are people that suck all of the positivity out of a situation, your life and your mind.

They are drama queens and people that like to tell you why you can’t do something, why you shouldn’t do something or that you can’t do something that you want to do. They are people that don’t want you to succeed because it will highlight something in them that is wrong. Energy Vampires are people that say their way is the only way of doing things and that you should follow the herd or that what the common people are doing is the best way of doing things. They said you should know your place and stay in it.

These are the people that talk to you about moderation when you are quitting drinking alcohol. They say everything is ok in moderation and that you should not be worried about taking a drop of alcohol because there is nothing wrong with it. They try and talk you out of doing what is good for you.

My youngest Sister is on the same lines as me, she doesn’t give a shit about most things in life. This is the Christmas present she brought me! It says “Feck off and when you get there feck off some more! ” I love this statement it’s just a good philosophy. “Hey you, fuck off away from me and when you get there fuck off from there as well.”

That’s basically how I think about some people in my life. I just don’t have the time or space for them. I don’t have the mentality to listen to that bullshit. There are so many people around like that. These people are just energy Vampires, they suck all the goodness out of your precious minutes.

You have got 27,000 days in this life. Everyone has the same 24 hours in a single day and it is up to you what you do with those 24 hours. You can use them constructively or not, but energy vampires will suck the positivity out of them regardless, sucking you dry of positivity, and that tends to have a lasting effect on you and puts you down for the day.

I have a certain routine every morning and the whole point of this routine is to try to kick start the day off to a positive start, which has a knock on effect to the following days. It is only a minor knock on effect but it all builds up.

It is like when you first start drinking alcohol, you start drinking small amounts which then gets into your system and has a negative effect on the next day and every time you drink you add to that negative knock on effect and your life starts to head down what Alan Carr calls his ‘spiral’.

Where you just keep drifting downwards and downwards. As long as you keep drinking alcohol you will never get out of that spiral, even if you try to moderate it is just bullshit because moderation builds. It is a lifelong sentence of having to keep doing it over and over again.

You can not do it just once. You moderate for two weeks and then you get fed up with moderation and go back to your normal drinking habits and then you moderate again perhaps even for a month but then you go back to your old drinking habits because of the nature of the drug.

The nature of the drug is to keep you taking more. It’s not even the drug, it’s your bodies reaction to the drug. So that’s what you have to say! “Feck off to the alcohol!” “Feck off to the negative people in your life.”

I am pro trying to understand people and I do try to consider that these people don’t know what they are talking about, they don’t know what I know. I try sometimes to at least explain to them why I am doing this from a personal level. This is why I am doing this. I need to do this because I want to change my life for the better.

I don’t care about passing on money to my children, if I can pass on this. This is the best form of inheritance that I can every give to my child. A respect for themselves, a respect for their body and their health, first and foremost.

Without your health, you can have all the money in the world, but you will still have nothing.

You haven’t got anything without your health. At the end of the day very few people listen to logical coherent argument. Very few people will look at you and think, “Yes they are doing something right so maybe I should think about myself and think about what I should do.”

Most people are persistent in thinking their thoughts about themselves or persistent in trying to get me to change to their thoughts – in that case, there’s trouble, that’s where the T-Shirt comes in. “Fuck off over there and when you get there fuck off some more. Don’t come back to me.

Sometimes all it takes telling people bluntly – “Fuck Off. “

Maybe you don’t have to tell people that, maybe you just have to say it inside your head. “Yeah, you can fuck off, I am walking away from you now and I never want anything to do with you.” And you can do that, you can arrange that yourself.

You don’t need to tell people to fuck off. You just don’t mix or associate with them any more and you leave them to their own life. Everyone to their own. That’s what I say. Don’t interfere with what I’m doing and I will get on with what I’m doing. I don’t want to interfere with what you’re doing, so adios. Take care of yourself. Goodbye. Good luck. All the best.

If you have any questions, comments, or suggestions for videos, leave them down below. Come over to the alcohol master website and sign up for the alcohol mastery starter pack, which has a few videos and books to try and help you start off on your quitting alcohol journey. If you need any other help at all you can send me an email at

Take good care of yourself and avoid the energy Vampires at all costs. Keep the alcohol out of your mouth and take care!

“People either inspire you; or drain you. Pick them wisely”

Until next time…
Onwards and Upwards!

3 Powerful Ways To Get Rid Of Energy Vampires For Good

With 2018 already taking over with its uniquely powerful energy, there has never been a better moment to finally let go of the toxic people and the energy vampires that have been feeding off your energy these past years.

We all have at least one such ‘friend’ in our lives that seems to be doing everything they can to drain us dry from the energy we’re so willing to share without giving anything in return. It’s not that you should be expecting anything, but you know that feeling when you just can’t take it anymore?


Well, if it has been awkward for you to break that relationship and go on with the life you deserve so far, now is the time where the energy of this year will help you loosen up and break those toxic bonds.

However, it won’t happen magically. You have a job in it too, and everything says that you’re ready to get on with it. So here are 3 powerful but simple ways to finally get rid of the energy vampires in your life.

1. Say NO

It doesn’t hurt as much when you say NO as you may think. It actually hurts more when you do the things you didn’t want to do. It depletes your energy, it eats away your precious time, and it throws you down into the low energy vibes, all because you didn’t protect yourself.

No is as valid as Yes, and it should be practiced accordingly. That is if you want to live a happy life. If someone decides to cut ties with you because of a reasonable NO, then you are better off without that person, as it shows how willing they are to usurp your personal choices and space.

So, say NO to people pleasing and say YES to being true to yourself a bit more accurately.

2. It’s always good to find some Alone time


Alone doesn’t mean lonely, and understanding this crucial difference is something that will liberate you from compulsive socializing which leads to no personal pleasure. That’s why it’s important to find some alone time and dedicate your energy to yourself.

This alone time will help you gain more insight about the things you’ve been through and you will regain greater control over who and what influences you – that is – you will become your own influencer the most.

This way, you will be more capable of breaking free from the toxic influence of energy vampires and similar unwanted psychopaths.

3. Look to the past for lessons, not bitterness

People usually look into the past for all the wrong reasons, and they usually come up with all the wrong ‘lessons.’ You don’t want to become bitter and hateful because of select experiences with negative people.

Everybody is here to teach us an important lesson, and energy vampires serve to teach us how to be ourselves more and how to resist external influence when we are supposed to be ourselves.

And finally, stick to the present and accept whatever may come in the future.

2018 is a year of action and taking control over your life, and, as such, it offers an energy which you should not shy away from. Your life is your own to live and your choices are your own to make, but make sure they are not negatively influenced by someone else’s choices and that you have no reason to regret even when things go bad.


Stay true to yourself and love yourself!


The Coolest Monk In The World Explains How To Spot & Manage Energy Vampires

by Conscious Reminder 

There might be times when you feel drained, exhausted, bored, anxious, threatened, over-whelmed or depressed after spending some time with a particular person, i.e. the very company of the person makes you feel sick inside out.

Also, you might feel guilty of thinking negatively about that person, however, if you encounter one around you then make yourself strong enough to spot him or her as an energy vampire.

Energy vampires are people who drain your energy. They can be anyone around you- your colleagues, family members, friends, classmates or even someone you have encounter with chance.

This term has been mooted by a Hindu priest who is also an entrepreneur, former monk and an international speaker- Dandapani. He categorizes the energy vampires into two types.

First, who are temporary, i.e. those people who suck out the energy within you for a short period of time as they might have been facing hard times themselves presently. They might have been going through divorce or some family spats, loss of loved ones or jobs, etc.

Second, those who are inherent energy vampires. They are the ones who are always like this. They do not look for any changes in their attitude or personality. It is very easy to spot this kind as the moment you walk away from them you start to feel negative.

Some common features of energy vampires are as follow:

1. They either victimize themselves or blame external factors for shortcomings of their lives. They try to make others feel guilty for the troubles they face rather than taking responsibilities themselves.

2. They always try to acquire the position of attention in a meeting. Being the centre of attention is their ultimate goal in any gathering they attend.

3. This brings their narcissist attitude. Everything in the world is about them. For them others are just the insignificant ones.

4. They are inherently either drama queens or kings. They love to indulge into drama every now and then.

Thus, now you know how to spot one and deal with them. The best way is to avoid them as much as you can. However, it is very challenging as they can be your friends, family members or your colleagues whom you have to face every day right from the morning.

If you want to save your limited energy for a prolific day, start ignoring them nonetheless.

Video courtesy of Goalcast

∼If you like our article, give Conscious Reminder a thumbs up, and help us spread LOVE & LIGHT!∼

The post The Coolest Monk In The World Explains How To Spot & Manage Energy Vampires appeared first on Conscious Reminder.

6 Types Of Energy Vampires That Leave You Emotionally Drained ~ March 19, 2018

Many thanks to Prepare for Change for posting this article…now you can see this, seek to avoid those you feel drained by, and…


Some people have a strange knack for leaving us completely drained of energy, struggling to regain our emotional fortitude. These are the toxic people of the world, the energy vampires who use our life source to fuel their own wicked being. They slowly siphon off our emotional, physical and psychic energies.

The energy vampire sounds like a nasty person you’d be able to spot if they were walking down a busy street. But, they’re actually everyday people like me and you. They’re our friends, family members, coworkers, acquaintances. Our sons, daughters and partners.

The truth is that anyone in our lives can become toxic to us if we’re not careful about the boundaries we establish. Vampiric people choose to leech off of people they know aren’t going to stop them. So, it’s up to you to protect yourself.

Here are six types of energy-drainers that you should consider getting out of your life:

The Victim / The Martyr

Everyone knows a person who just loves to play the victim, no matter what’s happening in their life. They believe that all of their suffering is not caused by any actions they personally take, but caused by the actions and doings of others.

They have zero self-esteem, so where do they look for it? In others, who will always be there to compliment them, reaffirm their existence, and approve of what they’re doing. They seek out validation in the only way they know how: making others feel bad for them.

The Narcissist

The narcissist vampire operates just as you’d expect him or her to. They place their needs and desires before everyone else’s and expect you to do the same. They live entirely under the control of their ego. These people tend to be quite charming and charismatic at first, but quickly make you realize just how harmful to your well-being they truly are. To spot one of these people, look for someone who make you feel small.

The Steamroller / The Dominator

These fascinating energy vampires are the people who are utterly obsessed with being superior to others. They view themselves as the “alpha” humans, with everyone else beneath them. But, this facade of power only exists because of their deep insecurities and fears of being weak. So, they choose to intimidate people more often than not.

They see the world in black-and-white, offering up no compromise for the gray areas in life. These are often the racists, bigots and sexist individuals on our planet.

The Drama Vampire

This type of energy-sucker is one who creates drama in everyone’s world so that they can feel special and worthy of attention. They’re the gossips that you’d expect to tell everyone that certain thing you told them never to tell anyone. They avoid any real problems in their lives because they feel that they are victims.

The Judgemental

The judgemental energy vampire is one who outwardly judges others just as much as they inwardly judge themselves. They have incredibly low self-esteem; they choose to only see the flaws and imperfections in others, because that is all that they can see in themselves. They gain an ego boost by belittling those around them.

The Innocent Ones

Not every toxic, energy-draining person comes into your world for the sole purpose of wreaking havoc. In some cases, the people who feed off of you are doing so unknowingly. These could be best friends or children who have come to rely on us a little more than they should.

While it’s important for you to be there for the innocent vampires, you must also recognize how important it is for them to be self-reliant. You cannot be the answer to every one of their problems. If you are, you will eventually have no energy left to support yourself and the things you like to do in life.

h/t Loner Wolf



Ask Mystic: I Think I Have A Qi Vampire On My Doorstep & I Am Going Insane

Ask Mystic: I Think I Have A Qi Vampire On My Doorstep & I Am Going Insane

I had a huge falling-out with an (ex) friend before Xmas. Unfortunately, she lives next door to me: Our front doors literally face each other and our doormats are less than one-foot apart. She leaves her door open all the time. I love my qi flow too, but also like my privacy and like to respect others. I am doing my best to avoid, be zen, ignore the pass-agrgo acts and not react, but it is internalizing and driving me mental. I have tried to take the path of least resistance, but in my heart I can’t reconcile the friendship.

I am a pretty intuitive Cancerian Sun+Moon+Ascendant, Lilith in Scorpio in 4th House, Scorpio rules the 5th, Libra rules 4th. She is scary-psychic Pisces with Aries/Sag Rising/Moon. We are both mega sensitive and reactive with lots of fire and water in our charts. We both smudge and use crystals etc.

My gut feeling + intellect tell me this person is mega-needy, manipulative and plays games if things don’t go her way. She seems to get what she wants after tons of drama.

Cutting to the chase: I am a bit scared of doing a “Get fuq’d and stay fuq’d” type chant as I don’t want to wish her ill-will or create a bad karma situation for myself. I want her out of my (previously) peaceful life and home environment, out of the flat next door, off my doorstep and out of my head. A friend suggests I just need to be okay with her being there. I’ve tried but its really hard. Any advice?

I have read your posts on protection and I have been using salt and garlic across my doorway (which stopped a passive-agrgo incident playing at my door while the perpetrator went out for a couple of hours). I am smudging with sage and mugwort, burning frankincense and meditating like a mo-fo so I don’t completely lose it, but I can’t stop obsessing over the situation and just want this person out of my life. I am focusing on protecting my space and place here. Against my own needs, I recommend her for the apartment, which she gloated she manifested. Lesson learned.

In other situations I would cut my losses, pack my bags, call the removalist, find another place, but I don’t have the luxury or the energy. And, I was here first, and this apartment is one of the best things that has happened in my life after years of moving frequently, and not having my own space. I’m also recovering from major health problems, of which stress was a contributing factor, and don’t have any more energy to waste on this situation. That said, I have learned some MASSIVE lessons this through this drama (with the help of my psychologist) and am working on gratitude.

About 3 weeks before we had the instigating falling out, she saw a clairvoyant/tarot reader in Sydney who told her she was going to have a falling out with a close girlfriend over jealousy…. I laughed out loud at the time and said “Well, its not me!” I think the jealousy is hers, I could be wrong, I’m not perfect but WHOA.

The night before she moved in, there was a cat-fight in the front courtyard … you hardly ever see a cat in my street. I had a sinking feeling at the time as I was already feeling uneasy about her moving in.

Thanks for your astro-site and any advice you can offer.

Dear Cancerian In An Eclipse,

Okay so I asked my fabulous Feng Shui lady for her thoughts, which are below.  But my astro-advice?  I understand the stress of this, especially as a Crab Woman – this is your Power Lair feeling under threat!  But is it? First of all, it is actually better to have a powerful woman living right next door to you than – say – a skeevy gentleman or a person whom you know for a fact was mean to their children or pets.

This scenario you are conjuring makes me think of two potent witches living side by side or Bette Davis and Joan Crawford in Whatever Happened To Baby Jane – not that either of you are decrepit or bitter but the concept of two powerful females at loggerheads but deep down, there is grudging respect.

And unless whatever sparked the feud was a truly heinous act, i would suggest reminding yourself that Jupiter in Libra is fantastic for strong alliances, diplomacy and feud resolution. Also that you want to fix this before Jupiter squares Pluto in early April. What better time than Venus turning Retro (this weekend) to reconsider a female-female friendship and make amends.

Also, to be absolutely Machiavellian about it, being the person reaching out to resolve this in eloquent fashion puts YOU in the power position. Holding the grudge – a common Cancerian trait, unfortunately – keeps you in a sort of ‘resentful serf’ role. Why not go over AS Venus goes Retrograde, with an appropriate gift and your most noble, affable attitude. Or write on the card with the gift (a scented candle?) something about how glad you are to have recommended her for the apartment as it is nice to have a familiar neighbor.

Am i missing something? If you feel she is a drama-queen, just set your drama tolerance levels real low and rise above anything turgid by not marinating in resentment. You can maintain diplomatic relations with a person/country without necessarily approving of everything about them/it. And you can limit your engagement to a level you are comfortable with. Or are you saying that this person is one of those All or Nothing people?

This is the Feng Shui Version.

Every building has its own distribution of energy which would need to be taken into account (like doing a natal birth chart when you look at the transits) aside from the annual influences. Having said that, here are some general points. Some Feng Shui consultants and websites would suggest hanging a Bagua mirror on your front door to reflect her negativity however I would advise against that as if she is energy aware – she sounds like she is – this would be seen as quite an aggressive act and no doubt you would find her reciprocating with a Bagua mirror on her door as well – this will just give the conflict a back and forward trajectory which will magnify itself and make it worse rather than better.

Instead, I would suggest looking at what is happening in the West area of your home. This year (as of 3rd February based on the Chinese Solar calendar) the annual energy shifted and for the rest of the year, conflict energy is visiting the West of every premises.

A way to harmonise the conflict energy is by using red however, without knowing the underlying building’s Feng Shui (this can be done by getting a remote report done) I am hesitant to suggest placing red here as you could inadvertently be activating sickness energy or energy that supports financial problems. The safest solution would be to put some metal in the West. This will harmonise the conflict energy and won’t play havoc with any underlying energy. This could be a metal windchime outside (6 or 7 rod best) or use metal items or round objects to harmonise the visiting conflict energy inside.

Remove any objects made from wood (including books) from the West and any light blue or green items as these help support the conflict energy as well.

You can drill down a further level and look at what is happening in the South of your home as well, because this month there is conflict energy visiting here. You can follow the previous recommendations for the South for this month too until the 4th March.

There is another type of energy that could be causing issues for you this year which relates to the Grand Duke (relates to the planet Jupiter). Try and avoid sleeping with your head pointing to the West or sitting facing the West if at all possible, especially if you were born in the Year of the Rooster!

Great you are smudging regularly as well!


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Energy Vampires: 15 Ways to Manage The Leeches In Your Life – Pocket Mindfulness

Being an adult sucks — there’s the endless pressure to act like one, the demands of work and personal and interpersonal relationships, and the responsibility to take care of yourself.

To survive and thrive we need a hell of a lot of energy, both physically and mentally (emotionally).

We are energy beings. Life is energy, projected and received in various ways.

So what could be worse than someone sucking that energy out of your life and reducing your ability to cope with your everyday challenges and chores?What

Well, what’s worse is not really knowing it is happening and why, and ending up demotivated, stressed and even depressed because of it.

In this post, I’m going to help you identify the energy vampires in your life and give you some solid tips on how to stop being a victim and take back responsibility for your own energy: your happiness, health and vitality

What Are Energy Vampires, and Are You a Victim?

If you’ve ever had an encounter with a person that left you feeling tired, drained, or even guilty, then you may well have been a victim of an energy vampire.

Energy vampires are quite simply those people around you that suck the life/energy out of you, leaving you feeling drained, energy-less and even depressed.

You see, people operating on low energy subconsciously seek to recharge themselves by leeching energy from other people.

The thing is, an energy vampire is not necessarily conscious of what they are doing, and may be in an emotionally unstable state through no fault of their own.

Regardless, energy theft can harm both the perpetrator and the victim, and it’s important to be aware of how.

For example, feeding off the energy of others can…

The 6 Key Different Types of Energy Vampire

To prepare for and guard yourself against energy vampires it is vital to recognize their strategies. Setting boundaries for such people will be easier once you learn to identify the way in which they operate.

There are six main types of energy-sucking vampires, and who knows, perhaps one or more of these have been lurking around your life for some time.

1. The Dominator Vampire

Superiority is the name of the game for dominator vampires. These vampires love to be in control and intimidate their victims.

Often, dominator vampires have a number of insecurities around being hurt, wronged, or weakened by others, so they try to conceal the emotional trauma by dominating/taking control of others.

Generally, this type of vampire has rigid opinions and cynical perceptions of life, which may make them discriminatory and prejudiced.

2. The Judgmental Vampire

From a bird’s eye view, judgmental vampires love to bully other people, but zoom in a little closer and you’ll see their own shattered self-worth.

They feed their ego by highlighting and making fun of your insecurities until you feel pathetic and small. Basically, judgmental vampires treat others just how they treat themselves.

3. The Melodramatic Vampire

If there was an energy vampire Oscars, the melodramatic vampire would take home the award for best actor.

As implied by the name, melodramatic vampires have the need to create drama, mainly because they need to feed the void they feel inside.

They love a crisis and being involved in problematic situations. They thrive on being victimized and therefore are in need of attention and love. Your energy will be drained when you get sucked into the drama they create.

4. The Narcissistic Vampire

We’re all aware of people who are narcissists — those who lack empathy for others and have a need for admiration. People with this condition are frequently described as arrogant, self-centered, manipulative and demanding.

Narcissist energy vampires are the same: they don’t have a genuine interest in others. Their motto is “me, me, me”.

They are manipulative: They charm you, leaving you powerless to fend off their influence to put them first at all costs, and massage their ego.

5. The Victim Vampire

Also known as martyr vampires, victim vampires target you through guilt. Usually, this type of person has remarkably low self-esteem.

They believe that their suffering is mainly due to others, so instead of taking responsibility for their lot in life, they blame and emotionally pressure others.

Victim vampires don’t receive enough love and acceptance from others, and this unworthiness makes them prey on your energy until you feel overly compassionate. Once you’re sucked in, you feel guilty if you don’t pay them attention and subsequently end up giving more than you can afford.

6. The Innocent Vampire

There are energy vampires who are innocent and aren’t aware that they’re stealing the energy of those around them.

Good examples are your overly dependent friends who rely on you that bit too much, and children in the family who see you as their caretaker and become overly needy of you.

While it’s great that you show compassion to these people, it’s important to motivate them to be self-reliant.

15 Ways to Manage Energy Vampires

As with blood-sucking vampires, most energy vampires can’t steal your energy if you don’t invite them to.

You have free will: you have a choice as to how much time and energy to spend with and give other people. You can and should set limits and boundaries because, at the end of the day, you’re always at a disadvantage if you let others suck the life out of you.

1. Recognize the Issue & Step Back

If you’re naturally compassionate, you are at risk of giving too much of your energy away. So when a person is causing you to feel exhausted, irritated, stressed, or depressed, you should take a step back and consider your position.

Recognizing people’s intentions is the first step: only then can you weigh up the situation and decide whether the relationship is healthy or not.

Take stock of the actions and intentions of those in your life. If a relationship is valueless, cut it off. If it concerns family and close friends, considering working it out with the help of a professional.

Don’t let the negativity of others leech your energy. You will end up worse off.

2. Manage Your Time Efficiently

Attending to a good friend’s or family member’s needs is a wonderful thing to do, but remember that as much as they need you, you need time to yourself, too.

It’s not worth sitting around someone for hours on end only to leave tired and stressed. Know your energy limits and live according to them. Set aside time for others but leave enough for focus and attention on yourself.

3. Choose Your Battles Carefully

Arguing with others, particularly those who have rigid beliefs, will only cost you time and energy. While it’s tempting to disagree and argue it out, recognize that for people to change, they must be willing to change first.

Don’t get red-faced and exhausted debating with someone who refuses to even consider your point. You’ll leave stressed, upset and maybe even lose sleep. Not good.

4. Keep Your Vibration Elevated

Some energy vampires don’t want to see a positive reaction from you; they want you to feel depleted and depressed, like they do inside. As a preference they go for people with lower vibrations, as they are easier to penetrate (ooh er, missus. Sorry).

So, keep your vibration level high by smiling and staying positive about life. As the Beach Boys famously sung: ‘Gotta keep those lovin’ good vibrations a happenin’.

5. Avoidance

One direct way to prevent energy vampires from leeching off you is to avoid them.

This isn’t always the best method though, as you might be throwing away an opportunity to develop yourself in dealing with such a person, and depending on how close the person is to you, a invaluable relationship might be at stake.

Use avoidance when your energy is low and you simply can’t deal with the person at that moment in time.

6. Don’t Post Your Entire Life on Social Media

Posting your life as you live it on social media is a good way to attract energy vampires, particularly the judgmental type.

Avoid letting other people know about your secrets, news, plans, or opinions through Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram.

Only post the information you’re prepared to be criticized about; otherwise, keep your fingers away from the ‘post something’ section.

7. Minimize the Impact with Group Interaction

When interacting with a vampire, having two or three other people around will lower the level of attention you’ll receive and the energy required to be given. If you you find yourself being drained by a conversation, draw a couple of other people into the conversation to take the strain off.

8. Keep Minimal Eye-Contact

If you regularly encounter an energy zapper at work and want to avoid them as best as possible, only occasionally make direct eye-contact when speaking with that person.

This is an obvious indication that you aren’t hooked by their allure and are not overly interested in their emotionally-charged conversation.

9. Listen, Don’t Talk

Much of the energy you release will come from talking, as you are lured further into the energy pit. Talking requires more energy than listening, and a nod or a “yes” doesn’t take much energy either.

To avoid talking too much, ask open-ended questions such as “how” and “why”. This will naturally make the other person do more of the talking. After all, most energy drainers just want an ear to bend, anyway.

10. Reaffirm Your Self-Worth

When feeling drained and negative after an encounter, particularly with the dominator and judgmental types, re-center your energy by repeating positive thoughts and affirmations. Meditation is also a great way to re-channel your positive energy and release the negativity.

11. Change the Focus of the Conversation

When talking with an energy-sucking individual, stick to light-hearted topics. Change the focus of the discussion and neutralize it when it becomes negative, depressing or stressful.

12. Stay Calm, Don’t Reactive

Remember, energy vampires want attention; to provoke a reaction from others. Don’t rise to the bait. Remain calm and on topic, and deflect invasive and negative comments and suggestions that you don’t feel comfortable with.

If you feel yourself becoming emotionally charged, go to point 13.

13. Leave If You Need To

Remember that no one can force you to be around them. So if you find yourself on a day when you just can’t deal with this energy leech anymore, take a deep breath and excuse yourself. Go surround yourself with some happy, positive people!

14. Don’t Feel Bad

As previously mentioned, energy vampires feed on your reactions. For them, empathetic people are easy targets, because most energy vampires have low self-worth.

But once they suck on your energy, you’ll be left feeling like you have a void too. Don’t let yourself be dragged into their pity party; walk away or change the focus.

15. Let It All Go

I talk about “letting go” a lot on this blog and, once mastered, many aspects of life become much easier.

No matter how hard some tries, their words can’t drain you if you don’t allow them to. It’s not easy, I know, but learning to hear but not absorb and let go will keep your energy high.

In Conclusion

While energy vampires can steal your positive energy, they can’t succeed unless you allow them to affect you.

However, given that most of us are generally compassionate and empathetic, we can’t always keep our distance from such people or the circumstances they are caught up in.

Moreover, any one of our friends or family members could turn into an energy vampire at any given time, depending on what life throws at them. It might be a short phase during an emotional struggle, or a more permanent period of life in the case of real tragedy or trauma.

So rather than avoid people through fear, it is best to remain compassionate and supportive while learning how to manage your time effectively and control your energy distribution.

It’s key to know when you need some “me time”, and know what you need to do to recharge.

In my experience, the best way recharge is to surround yourself with positive people whose values align with your own. Remember, you are your own guardian, but the company you keep will help you create a healthy energy space too.